Back by popular remand to build upon the outstanding success that was the 2008 Gnomies: The Melbourne Football Club Football Club awards night extravaganza that is The 2009 Gnomies!
This year with red and blue carpet; black suits with pointy white shoes: exclusive Youtube footage of Brent Moloney repeatedly thumping team-mates who won't sing the club song with enough gusto; and Sandy Roberts asking Tiger Woods whether he would like to meet Liam Jurrah. ("Of course I would.")
And now, without further undo, it's over to my brother, RT:
The Sir Robert Flower Best & Fairest Award – we all know. Was the pundits choice and he has pretty much sealed the difficult transformation from opportunistic, elusive forward to influential, creative on-baller. Can break a play open with his delivery and could well be our next and first ever indigenous captain. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, one decent season with a few flashy ones preceding does not a Sir Robert Flower make. We’ve got him for 4 more, so blaze on Aaron and create your own Demon legend.
The Allen Jakovich Best First Year Player Award – Liam Jurrah. Got a fair touch of the Jakos, a walking highlight reel. As someone else said when looking at some footage of him “he just makes me smile whenever I see him in action”.
The Guy Rigoni Biggest Surprise Packet Award – Bennell / Jetta double act. At picks 35 and 51 not much if anything expected 1st year but 15 or 16 games each in their first season were well over the odds. Bennell in the first half of the season, Jetta in the second. Cheney also surprised.
The Andrew Leoncelli Most Improved Award – James Frawley. I suppose being a 1st Round pick we had hoped he was a potential star but showed it’s not “hoped” but “definitely should”. Last round versus Reiwoldt was a great indicator. Played him beautifully. Jamar actually could have challenged for the award if he’d played more than 7 games, we’ve certainly called off the dump truck for him.
The Brent Grgic Most Disappointing Award – Paul Johnson. Had the first ruck there for the taking with Jamar, Meesen and Spencer all injured at various times. As we’ve said during the season, he should never handball, he should just head the ball given the turnover rate.
The Paul Hopgood Effort Award – Ricky Petterd. The guy has guts. Or no brains. That pack mark he took vs the Tigers and then sealed with a crucial goal was superb stuff. He could go either way next year but would be some story if he propers given the ’07 season lung buster.
The Stephen Tingay Young Player Potential Award – Stef Martin. His pick up, swivel round a player, then goal against Essendon showed he’s no dud ex-basketball klutz. He has the pace, height and importantly agility to worry plenty of sides. Disposal the key improvement factor with him.
The Glenn Lovett Established Player But Could Be A Superstar Award – Colin Sylvia. Some genuine glimpses of real Pick # 3 class. Multiple sweet 65m kicks right thru the centre of the goals mixed in with great link play. Just stay out of the drip trays thanks Col.
The Jeff Farmer Demons Goal Of The Year Award - Liam...over the head for 30m if you don’t mind.
The Shaun Smith Demons Mark Of The Year Award – Liam... one hander in Canberra sticks in the memory. Mainly because I was there in sub zero temp. But there were about 3 freaky ones and only 9 games in.
The Jeremy Nichols Blink And You’ll Miss Him Award – Rohan Bail. May be proved wrong but he could go back to Qld saying “I played one AFL game, got one kick, last one minute”. Who else can say that?!
The Nick Smith X-Factor Award – Simon Buckley. X-Factored himself right off the list. Hope he doesn’t come back to haunt us.
The Anthony Ingerson Older Player But Keep On List Until He Claps Out Award – Brad Green. Could well still play for a couple of years, as opposed to Junior and Bruce. Delivery always top notch, has steadily improved his workrate around the ground and tough in the clinches. Could also go back to the forward line as he hits his 30’s.
The Darren Cuthbertson Frustration Award – Michael Newton. 2nd year running. It’s safe to say he is Trans not On The Beach. He’s burning so slow, he’s out of lighter fluid. Hard to justify playing so many Casey games when plenty are being gifted Red and Blue jerseys.
The Darren Kowal Designated Kicker Out From Goal Award – who did do it this year? At least Trav is out of the picture and now trying to thread an impossible pass of a metho bottle thru his hobo mates only for it to land in the campfire and explode.
Spoon not a valid indictor. Ten times better than the woeful Tigers. Almost would have passed Freo and possibly the Kangas with the tanking lights off.
I saw a win! Weagles Rd 14.
Roll on Scully and Trengove.
Viewer awards section. Your input matters:
The Barry Norsworthy Keep Training Around The Outside of the MCG in the Vain Hope They May Call You Back Inside Award - '09 - Wobbo. No ability to keep your feet and / or apply defensive pressure in the forward line unfortunately makes you wedunant in the modern game. Let's see Garland do a Scarlett and snaffle 30 touches on him against the Blues.
The reputed fly-in guest appearance in which Dildos Fevola interviews Mitchell Johnson's girlfriend's yellow underpants is just another scurrilous internet rumour.
Posted by: Tony | 29 October 2009 at 13:17
Tone, I haven't been following AFL properly for awhile given my Northern Hemisphere bias and this might be an obvious question by consequence, but is it just me or have the Dees been rock-bottom for years now? What's going on? Isn't the whole point of the draft system that there's a natural cycle, and that teams come and go - witness the Weagles being white-hot for awhile, sort-of-good for awhile afterwards, kinda rubbish, REALLY rubbish, and now on the improve? Why isn't this happening for Melbourne?
Posted by: Carrot | 29 October 2009 at 21:48
Gnome is looking so robust he could soon be out of counselling and be able to cope with direct sunlight. A copybook rebuild Demons!
Posted by: RT | 30 October 2009 at 06:18
Carrot: Melbourne have been shit for three years, but before that they were ok. We bottomed out on purpose, too. All part of the grand plan. As RT points out - rebuild. In this case, a Rolls Royce, not a Holden Camira.
And in case I didn't make in clear, RT wrote the Gnomies. Hats off.
Posted by: Tony | 30 October 2009 at 19:22
I see Euphoric Andre visited your loo just before you took the pic.
Shiny.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 30 October 2009 at 19:46
Andre could well be my cleaner? Is he an Indian?
Posted by: Tony | 30 October 2009 at 20:22
Just fell over this blogpost which shows that grid-iron football started out very like Aussie Rules. Apparently it scared 'em and they scaled it down.
who knew? not me.
Posted by: Bwca Brownie | 07 November 2009 at 10:03
Well, I don't know about that, Brownie. Even back then Aussie Rules had rules. And a significantly lower death toll.
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