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How much did it cost you to get that ranking?

This place is never busier than when the Ashes are on.

We are a veritable font of pontifications.

Was Ben's finger shown on live TV? Or was it replayed so the media could then have its wank fest, and eat it too?

Sorry, I mean finger furor.

Rob: No payment. The Tele are dedicated to exposing true quality to the ignorant masses.

Bruce: A Ponting of fontifications.

Biggy: Finger feud.

And the masses are surely ignorant. Or else they would already be here. But now that they know, if they aren't here, they are clearly under the influence of evil forces. Which we will defeat.

Yes, evil forces. When the masses were supposed to be reading about the AGB, they were watching the Jackson 10 win Britain's Got Talent.

Anywho, congrats Mr. T. About time the rest of the universe got on board.

I'm been pleasantly unable to view that travesty from Britain. And that PM of theirs, too.

Congratulations, Tony - although I wonder how pleased they'll be with our crowing when Australia's running through the poms.

As for the picture, that was only Ben answering the question about how many weeks his coach has left.

Thanks, lads.

Wallace is about to embark on his latest Five Day Plan.

Jeez Tone,he said your cricket comment was 'amusing' and I had been thinking all this time you were deadly serious.
And 'offbeat'? no way. Right ON the beat, every time.
The No 1 part was on the money though. onya.

You'll have to change your masthead to

"Virutally unintelligible to non-Australians". And now baffling Daily Telegraph readers too."

Just noticed the ""Virutally" typo. OK

"Virutally unintelligible to non-Australians. Unless they read The Grauniad ."

Congrats I suppose. But lets not kid ourselves. It's not your so called "cricket commentary" that caught their eye but all the flesh on display in the Caligua grogflog.

Um, I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome all Daily Telegraph readers to this excellent film blog with some supposedly "offbeat" meanderings about cricket attached occasionally. And to remind youse all about the "no shirt, no shoes, no comment"policy. Unlike you shower, we do attempt to maintain some standards in the Antipodes.

the UK Telegraph is the one great font of perspective:

Which font would that be? Helvetica?

Seriously though - Off beat - more like deadbeat and I still can't find the page 3 girl on this blog

Nabs: A virutal explanation.

FX: Comic sans. (Without funny.)

Badly need your help. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
I am from Burkina and learning to write in English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Fluids must be anchored, known against change, and used."

With best wishes ;), Rafi.

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