Is there a side with a more dismal record than Melbourne at AAMI? I used to go to Melbourne games in Adelaide, now I don't even bother watching them on telly. The aggravation is such that the occasional score on the radio is about all I can endure.
Speaking of radio:
"There were five or six handballs in that link of chain."
~~ Shane Wakelin, SEN
Still, on the outside chance Melbourne somehow manage to conquer the unalloyed heights of a respectable loss, I always record the game to watch later. In the case of Melbourne vs Port, just the second half because the machine ate the first half of the tape.
(Note to self: get IQ.)
You've almost certainly had a Monday's experts disagreement over an aspect of a match. You: "Jeez, Joe Bloggs was dreadful." Contrary Other: "Really? TV Pundit said Bloggs had a blinder." See what I'm driving at? Punters often cite the commentators as the last word. No idea why. A small percentage of what they say is worthwhile, much of it is the bleedin' obvious, a lot of the rest is complete pants. The last quarter and a bit of the Dees/Power game was a case in point.
"You need to kick the ball to the dangerous space, not the dangerous spot."
Danny Frawley makes a comparison between footy now and footy in the old days. Pretty sure he was trying to say you can no longer bomb it to a contest in the goal square, but surely dangerous is dangerous.
DR: "That's bread and butter for a man of Cameron Bruce's experience."
LP: "A good finisher in Cameron Bruce."
Dwayne Russell and Liam Pickering describe Cameron Bruce's goal-kicking expertise. They must have forgotten Bruce had previously missed a sitter, and also been unaware that not one Melbourne fan would put money on a Bruce shot for goal... sorry, shot on goal.
"And you just see Davey here. Kicked the ball. That's the new rule."
Danny Frawley dissects the replay of an incident in which Melbourne were awarded a free kick down field after Aaron Davey had been decked after getting rid of the ball. Why is this a "new rule" to Danny? Down field frees have been around since at least when he played.
Incidentally, on a 1998 trip to Adelaide to watch Melbourne and Port, we went to Adelaide Oval to watch Norwood and Westies. At half time in the bar watching Adelaide and Geelong on the TV there was a local oaf bouncing around the bar chanting "FAD, Mods" over and over. FAD is checkside speak for "free after disposal".
"He hasn't moved, Dunn."
Danny Frawley pronounces Dunn done after he was dropped by Dom Cassisi. Danny's definition of "has not moved" conflicts starkly with reality's "is lying face-down on the ground but is waving his legs around." (And not in a knocked-out flinchy way, either.)
DR: "Colby, what did he do wrong?"
LC: "What did he do right? I've done plenty of that over the journey, so no questions 'ere."
Dwayne asks boundary rider Leigh Colbert for input after Alipate Carlile fumbled the footy. Colby started off fine: sharp come-back. But if he's going to give it the "no comment" treatment because he fumbled when he was playing he may as well give the caper away. That's assuming his "no questions 'ere" equates to the more likely "no comment 'ere".
"It's a perfect short pass."
Dwayne Russell, anticipating a Port move, waxes rhapsodic about a mongrel short kick that hit Dean Brogan in the shins and almost tripped him up. Should have waited until the ball was kicked.
"That's the new rule. Whether you agree with it or not is another thing. But the umpires are told 'that's the rule, you've got to pay it'."
Danny Frawley should steer clear of the rules. Cam Bruce had been awarded a 50 metre penalty when a Port Player ran over the mark. This rule has been around since Jim Stynes played full back for Ballyboden.
"It's a love-all draw at the moment in this last quarter. Both sides have kicked five goals."
Danny Frawley, again.
Then there was the customary confusion about how a push in the back is not a push in the back if you use your fore-arms. Yes. Danny. Once again he was tangled up in the rules.
The regular inconsistency over "ducked into it" raised its head. When Josh Carr was "just too clever" because he "dropped to his knees" to "milk himself a goal" there was clear approval from the team, but every other instance of ducking was met with disapproval.
Imagine if I'd seen the whole game. Surely it's not this bad every week?
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