Unoriginal sign:
OK, SO you've got your centre-court ticket and, full of the joys of living, you sidle into Rod Laver Arena ready for a great day of international tennis action. The beer and food prices aren't about to get you down, and, for now, you're also ignoring the stifling heat and the fact that you've drawn that "blockbuster" match between Chris Guccione and David Nalbandian. "Nice to be supporting the local bloke," you think to yourself as a you arrive at your seats to find a seething mob in front of you. Yes, it's the so-called Fanatics Pty Ltd, or a version thereof. All bedecked in the same yellow T-shirts, all in the same hats, all singing the same chants, oh, and … all day. It's not that this phenomenon is unique to tennis, it's just that: 1. It's hard to imagine why anyone would get so worked up about a tennis match, and 2. There's just no escape from this sort of lunacy at a tennis stadium. Still, for every fanatic clad in the standard issue garb, there's always going to be one or two funny lines among the dross. The guy holding up this sign (pictured) has shown not only wit, but wisdom well beyond his seating position among the clones.
Two things:
- Despite being spot on in all other sentiments, Andrew Tate, the compiler of High 5, needs to get out more. "The guy behind me can't see" is not as old as "John 3:16" but it's about the same age as "668: the neighbor of the beast". I first noticed it at the Pro Wrestling around 10 years ago. Since then it has often popped up at sporting events worldwide, and in Straya. Oh, and by the way.
- Since Fanatic = Moron, what's the bet the sign holder claims the joke for himself, and then when filled in, concedes: "Old? Well, at least I thought of it by myself."
DEPRESS RELEASE
If you don't want to frolic with the Moronics, you could always get stuck into the two-buck chuck with Leaping Larry:
HOW FAR THE CHERRY?
ACCORDING to a media release for what now apparently glories in the name "Jacob's Creek's Summer of Tennis", at the Australian Open we can expect that:
"Each day, a group of supporters will be given Jacob's Creek black and white gear to wear, and chants to sing to support their Jacob's Creek Honorary Aussie, the 'against the odds' player, who will face a higher-seeded opponent."
This presents one major potential logistical problem. After witnessing this considerable entertainment extravaganza, we may need to build a bigger country to hold all the vomit.
If we are talking tennis, surely the blocked-view guy has the better part of the bargain if he can look at a piece of blank cardboard rather than the game....
Posted by: Professor Rosseforp | 20 January 2009 at 19:21
What the tennis needs is for the "guy behind" to get the shits and start a rumpus.
Posted by: Tony Tea | 21 January 2009 at 12:10
Seen at the Andy Roddick match. Wanted for questioning.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 21 January 2009 at 18:50
The fanatics at home = The Ugly Ostrayans. The fanatics overseas = a virus with shoes.
There were hordes of the bastards in India for the cricket in 2004, with the collective sensitivity and subtlety of sledgehammer wielding elephants. Two of them managed to get arrested for stealing -of all things- a gatorade bucket after one of the matches. Because 50-litre plastic drums are the ideal backpacker's accessory whilst touring the subcontinent.
I loathe them all.
Thank you for the opportunity to rant.
Posted by: SaggyGreen | 21 January 2009 at 20:33
Saggy, on that note...
Posted by: Boof | 22 January 2009 at 09:17
What Boof said in his blog. They are so not sports fans. Just a bunch of cheerleader idiot buffoons.
Reliable sources in Melbourne tell me 75% of any sample the Oz Open crowd aren't sports fans either, it is just a place "to be seen." And correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the fanatics start at the Oz Open?
So there we have it. A perfect storm of shouty dickhead wanting to be seen + non sports fan = fanatic.
I kind of liked the Swedish version of the fanatics from 15+ years ago. Maybe because they were so hopelessly outnumbered it was cute, they seemed very genuine, and their players had a better than remote chance of winning.
Oh yeah, and the Swedish flag looks really cool when daubed on one's face.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 22 January 2009 at 15:16
On the Mat: How about on one's jumper?
Posted by: Tony T. | 22 January 2009 at 16:15
Struth! Flags make me hot.
Viking flags.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 22 January 2009 at 16:58
What about the Mozambique flag. Machine guns and shovels: two things close to the hearts of most African nations.
Posted by: Tony Tea | 22 January 2009 at 17:22
The Mozie flag. Guns and shovels sure. But when time for a break, pull out a good book.
Posted by: RT | 22 January 2009 at 19:43
In order: Shoot 'em, bury 'em, read 'em their rights.
Posted by: Tony Tea | 22 January 2009 at 19:48
Reliable sources in Melbourne tell me 75% of any sample the Oz Open crowd aren't sports fans either, it is just a place "to be seen."
wtf most people who go to sports aren't sports fans? The real sports fans are %5?
So those catholics at mass are mostly trendoids? Most cyclists aren't really riding bikes? 75% of drunks are sober?
Hang on a minute while I recalibrate.
Posted by: Francis Xavier Holden | 23 January 2009 at 22:34
95% of workers aren't working.
Posted by: Tony Tea | 24 January 2009 at 17:51