THE GNOMIES

A guest post by my brother, who lives in Sydney, and who presents here for your delectation, the spectacular Television Event, blond carpet, red headed, Night of Nights extravaganza that is the MFC/AGB Gnomies.

(Includes riboflavin.)

The 2008 Demons awards:

The Sir Robert Flower Best & Fairest Award – Brad Green. But hardly standout material. He did enough in the middle stretch when we improved from the early chaos. McLean would’ve been leading when injury curtailed, although he was either great or ordinary depending on the opposition coach's nous. Bruce (by virtue of being the only one to play every game) would hardly be right, with Jones and Wheatley looking the only other chances.

The Allen Jakovich Best First Year Player Award – Cale Morton. Pretty easy choice. A bit more definition on the body, more rounded defensive skills and footy awareness that only comes with experience and this kid could be our next star.

The Guy Rigoni Biggest Surprise Packet Award - Austin Wonaeamirri. Although he tailed off towards the end you couldn’t expect better from him in a rookie season (a rookie is only two goals off our leading goalkicker….says it all for the type of season) and is already serious cult value footy wide. The Great Valenti would be challenging too if he played more games. 2 great rookie choices.

The Andrew Leoncelli Most Improved Award – Colin Garland. Buckley was also challenging toward the end of the season. Hope they both don’t develop the “promising-season-then injury-and-or-unrealistic-expectations-syndrome” eg, Bartram and Rivers. Warnock, Dunn, CJ improved as well (from low bases).

The Brent Grgic Most Disappointing Award – Daniel Bell. I thought he was going to be a gun based on ’07, potential leadership group, tough defender who matches up against a dangerous, important medium sized forward. Didn’t realise he was Turnover Turkey Tom. Sylvia improved in the last half of the season but needs some jet boosters in '09 and Bartram gets dispensation on the back of 2 years out of footy.

The Paul Hopgood Effort Award (efforts post Demons 150 dinner for Hoppy...) – Brad Miller. Not his best season but improved on his last two and never stopped trying. Can't be a Neitz type focal point but would be a useful second string forward like in '05/06.

The Stephen Tingay Young Player Potential Award – Addam Maric. Only 5 games but showed he has that real "something". Closely followed by Martin.

The Glenn Lovett Established Player But Could Be A Superstar Award – Matthew Bate. Orange Boy is now a permanent fixture (well, until last week...) and played a couple of stellar games or parts in games but just waiting for him to string at least 2 or 3 super games in a row then go on from there. PJ's another, improving year on year and seems to be set for a consistent run in the team. He had a couple of great games this year and could just go bang. Or conversely end up playing on the Casey Tundra as a too small for key ruck, too big for key position player. Davey has certainly held this award for the previous 2 years……

The Jeff Farmer Demons Goal Of The Year Award -  Paul Johnson. Dribble city v Cats. The big guy has shown Cox type skills in patches (his rundown of a Lions player at a crucial time in the last qtr was a highlight).

The Shaun Smith Demons Mark Of The Year Award – Brad Green. Running back into a pack. Not sure which game. Turning into a signature mark from him.

The Jeremy Nichols Blink And You’ll Miss Him Award – Isaac Weetra. 2 games, 0 goals, 11 total possessions, played in two 100 point thumpings => back to SA, NT or whatever and add to the exulted list of players who have played only 2 games for the Demons (post ’78):

 

John Dellamarta	2	1979
Stewart Gull	2	1979
Glenn Giles	2	1981
Shane Braddy	2	1981
John Tossol	2	1981
Michael Howard	2	1984
Andrew Dale	2	1986
John Ahern	2	1989
Tom Kavanagh	2	1989
Robert Hickmott	2	1990
Wayne Lamb	2	1992
Brian Stynes	2	1992
Adrian Campbell	2	1993
Martin Heppell	2	1995
David Cockatoo-Collins	2	1996-1997
Hayden Lamaro	2	1998
Cameron Hunter	2	2003

 

The Nick Smith X-Factor Award – Jumpin’ Johnny Meesan. A puff of dust second.

The Anthony Ingerson Older Player But Keep On List Until He Claps Out Award – Matthew Whelan. Written off earlier this season but # 45 with a bullet.

The Darren Cuthbertson Frustration Award – Michael Newton. Has played 16 games, 23 goals, highest in a game 3, 4^th season coming up in ’09, hopefully more of an On The Beach slow burner than a dire Trans. James Frawley is still in the development stage but will be a contender for this award next year if he doesn't pick up the slack.

The Darren Kowal Designated Kicker Out From Goal Award – the Demons Mascot…..easily beat all the other clowns.

Shocking season by any measure, first half of which was comical, as were the last 2 games and a pity to finish as a rabble against the improving Tigers. Rubbed in by the fact it was our 150th year and we made such a terrible financial loss. Spoon deserved, although Wet Toast the most disappointing over the full season. First time ever the Demons have been in bottom place every single round.

I went to:

Rd 1 Hawks carnage - what other supporters come to the realisation that it's season over before 1/2 time, Rd 1?

Rd 6 Gabba game - possibly the worst I've ever seen the Demons play (lucky I wasn't there yeaterday). At least it wasn't a home game....

Rd 11 QB - can't remember much of that one. I think I'd just woken up after the 150 dinner two nights before....

Rd 18 Bombers game - entertaining game and good to quaff the Heathcote red in the member's dining room beforehand.

Last win I've witnessed was the 2006 final v Saints, when Chopper Carroll was in our best and there was real optimism going into '07. Time moves fast in footy.

Potential for real improvement from the lowest of bases, but not a rapid rise, like in '98 you'd think. Some positive upheavels off-field but next 3 years shaping as crucial in all areas.

Comments

[m0nty]

Surely your brother could institute an award named after John Tossol. Lord knows what the statue would look like though.

I was also at the R1 game (barracking for the other mob) and I, too, concluded very early doors that the Dees were a rabble, on and off the field. Sad to see.

[os]

Hey Teach, we're not disappointed. If the system demands some bottoming out after years at the top, we did it pretty well. The waiting rooms at sports surgeries over here have been running around the clock with Eags getting their ops done early, some great young players getting bedded in around the 20-30 game mark, early draft picks in the offing. Back at the top in 3 years max.

[Tony T]

Monty: Strange as it may seem, I wasn't totally down on the first game, or the second, or the third, anyway:

Now. Everyone needs to stop listening to pretty much everything said or written in the media.

Melbourne does have a game plan. It mightn't be as readily identifiable as, say, the German Blitzkrieg, Stonewall Jackson's end-around at Chancellorsville or Steve Bradbury skating at the back of the field to avoid falling over, but it's there nevertheless, and was starting to become apparent in the first half. It's just that our execution was dreadful. It's a long time since I've seen a league side miss with so many handballs, let alone kicks. Give a contender like Hawthorn or a team of downhill skiers like the Bulldogs too much cheap footy and they will massacre you. (That's massacer, not massacree, Arlo.)

Our game plan looks roughly similar to a combination of Essendon 2000 and Geelong 2007: have most (give or take full back and full forward) of your players move up and down the ground bunched within a kick of where the ball is at any one time. This means you always have loads of players around the ball who can a) put maximum pressure on the other side when they have the ball; and b) "run and carry" the agate down the ground en masse when you get your hands on the ball. It's what Geelong do perfectly. Melbourne's not insignificant problem is that we don't have Geelong's players. No Ablett, Bartell, Ling, Corey, Enright, Kelly; all hard running, strong over the ball, experienced, talented players. Melbourne, on the other hand, are a light, young side not yet used to said plan or physically capable of such a contact-intense style of footy.

Os: Melbourne have even gone so far as to make their injured players show up, post-op, to the matches on crutches to prove that, yes, we have been slaughtered by injuries, and no, hope is not lost.

[Adam 1.0]

I still can't believe Cameron Hunter or Weetra played two games. Probably the worst players of the last decade - though Wayne Lamb, Lamaro, D. Cockatoo-Collins and Nick Smith might challenge.

On a "Games Played to Contribution" ratio Scott Chisholm would have to be in there.

[carneagles]

At least we're not Melbourne. (Sob.)

[m0nty]

There were several aspects to Melbourne's season that were in their control, injuries and off-field turmoil notwithstanding, which disappointed me.

1. Nathan Jones. Has gone backwards this year - I realise that's a bit of a cliche, but not really in N-Jo's case because he couldn't seem to find a way to propel the pill in a decent fashion into the attacking 50. Seems to want to take the world on his shoulders with every clearance, trying to be Judd-like without any of the skill. Come on lad, just run through the guts and kick the bloody thing with half an eye on where the leading forwards are, don't overthink it. Also, learn to break a tag.

2. The rise of Paul Wheatley. This is actually a bad sign for Melbourne, I think. When HBFers are dominating the stat counts, that tells me that the gameplan involves way too much chipping around the wings, stopping, chipping back to the flank, thence to opposite flank and wing, repeat. As Yul Brynner said "Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera."

3. Brad Green. Yes, he looked good in many games, but most of those were when he dropped back into the hole at CHB and was the loose man. This is a player who, if he's going to be worth the team hanging onto, should be in the forward half as much as possible, placing the ball gently on the breasts of Neita's replacements.

For all of these faults, I blame Bailey. He could end up being the longest-serving caretaker coach in AFL history at this rate. Or he could be the new Michael Nunan.

[Tony T]

Monty, allow me to put it this way: absolutely SPOT ON.

Jones - takes everyone on, slow, can't kick.

Wheatley - Easy Joel Bowden touches.

Green - "Bugger the hard work. I'm too slow. Stuff trying to hit the full-forward on the tit. I'd rather sweep across half-back."

After the last two games of the season I'm very worried. I can see what Bailey's trying to do, but our lack of strong, fast players means we've no hope of executing his gameplan. No forward line, either. Hope he doesn't turn out to be the world's biggest dud. Or is that Spud, as in Danny Spudley?

Does that make Mark Riley the new Bernie Quinlan?

[RT]

On the m0ney, m0nty. Jones in the disappointing category. Probably be top 5 B&F by default but I can't remember a game where he was in our top 3 (except perhaps at the Gabba, when he would have been 23rd best of the field).

He needs to grow his hair. New outlook and all.

[m0nty]

The Bowden analogy is the key. For Flower's sake, don't turn into Richmond.

[Adam 1.0]

Good to see 'flower' getting a run in here. Reminds me of the Fan Footy chat. Flower and shower for all.