JOB BLOT

John Casey has gotten completely! out of hand - apologies to Mark Readings - with "goes to work", "gets the job done" and "got the job done".

Now, like a contagious disease, "the job" has spread to the other commentators, which is, quite frankly, staggering. Surely, they have self-inoculated against this virulent malady; or in the very least, listened to Casey, and before him Clinton Grybus, and concluded that "got the job done" has been wickedly over-worked.

Leapster expands. As in says more. Not gets bigger.

OTHER TERMINOLOGY DEMYSTIFIED

The corridor: The thing you often have to walk down in a pub before taking The Pee.

The fat side: The side of the face vain people prefer to turn away from a camera lens.

The thin side: Something young models and actresses are often said to be on, shortly before entering hospital/rehab.

The tank: (1) Where you'll probably wind up spending the night if you ignore the previous suggestion. (2) Something that clubs officially never do in football.

Spotting up a target: Term indicating a successful manoeuvre in paintball competition.

Spotting up a lead: Esoteric decorative craft practised by pet owners on an item of dog-walking equipment.

The legs: What you use to walk down The Corridor in the pub to take The Pee.

The engine: Something you probably shouldn't start if you've taken a lot of trips down The Corridor in the pub to take The Pee.

The pump: Something players used to be under before The Blowtorch was invented.

The blowtorch: Something players used to be under before The Acid was invented.

The acid: Something that's now said to be "on" the players due to the sudden, mysterious product recall of both The Pump and The Blowtorch.

The gun: Something players are sometimes strangely said to be "in", rather than under, possibly due to shortcomings of the education system.

Unit: Term formerly used by music industry executives to describe an individual item of recorded music product, back in the pre-file-sharing days when they used to actually sell any of these.

Big unit: The size of brain almost certainly not residing inside the skull of anyone who uses the expression "Unit" to refer to a human being.

The brand: Metal utensil heated to extreme temperature and used to mark livestock. Ideally would be applied mercilessly to anybody using the expression "Damaging the brand" to refer to the AFL, or individual football clubs, generally in a spectacularly mealy-mouthed fashion. Consistent labouring of this reflux-inspiring terminology is apparently based on the belief that it makes the user seem cool and business-savvy. And it does. Cool and business-savvy like a manila folder.

Comments

[TimT]

Well I have to say the corridor put in an stunning performance last time I walked down it. It got to work quickly by leading out from one room, and got the job done by ending up on the verge of the other room.

Thanks to the good work put in by the corridor and the rooms, my walk down the corridor was a walk in the park. Metaphorically. So to speak.

[Tony T]

Quite true, Tim. The corridor is famous for consistently achieving the key performance criteria.

[Adsy]

The brand (and head I guess) is sacrosanct also.

[Tony T]

Sacrosanct: first noticed when Greg Williams caressed the umpire, and wantonly overused ever since.

[haiku]

The hotspot: the bit the Brand gets applied to?

Stop: to cease movement ahead of propping and delivering.

Prop: what one does after one stops, but before one delivers.

Deliver: follows immediately from the actions of stopping and propping.

[carneagles]

The woodwork: Sam Newman's Scandinavian-themed sauna.

Lace-out: Fev on Mad Monday.

Worm-burner: Fev on Mad Monday.

Two-faced preening overexposed turd: Michael Voss.