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Sings: "Theres no better time to be an Australian than 9.49 am on Sunday morning".

Cos then I know there's only one minute of feckin Mocca all over (my pants)left

Or 11 minutes if you are a pedant.

I'm sorry I'll read that again:

"Theres no better time to be an Australian than 9.59 am on Sunday morning"

I knew a bloke up the Thomastown. Thommo, the locals call it. Great place. It's where they invented Moccas, y'know. Not me, the shoes. Anyway, this bloke - John, was his name - only spoke only in typos. Crazy fella, but sharp as a Keon Park duck... tack.

Are we talking Macca? There you go. Kel, what was that man's name, you know, I'm not sure, things were different, anyway there you go. Dick Smith. Australian manufacturing, I don't know. There you go.
I always like it when he rudely cuts people off so that we can have the news -- but we then 3 minutes of bird calls over muzak.
Not that I listen to Macca.

I have a sister who lives about 20 miles outside Dublin, and for a while there my mother was taping Australia All Over off the radio and mailing it to her. That all ended when my sister politely explained that whilst she might get homesick every now and then, she was not - and would never be - that homesick.

A little piece of me dies every time I am reminded of that man and that show.

eerily accurate. A tiny bit worrying how accurate actually.

It is a bit.

Speaking of eerily accurate. Got a letter the other day from Neil in - Kel, are you listening? - Donvale. Is Donvale named because it is between Springvale and Doncaster? Could be. Or maybe because it's near Doncaster but on Springvale Road. Melbourne has loads of suburbs named after adjoining suburbs. Warranwood: between Warrandyte and Ringwood. If you know any more ring in. There's even Donburn which is between Donvale and Blackburn. How about that. A suburb named after the adjoining suburbs, one of which is named after other adjoining suburbs.

Where was I? That's right... eerily accurate. My mate Topper - we call him that because he always has a better story than you - knows a bloke called Eerily Accurate.

Knew a girl called Mirella once. We called her Jubey. That was probably unkind. Strange girl.

True story.

At the risk of doing a Macca: same here.

Great stuff, Tony, it's like David Foster's dialogue. If you haven't read Dog Rock / The Pale Blue Crocheted Coat Hanger Cover, get to a second hand bookshop, stat. (His books are never in print but I think he's the Aussie talk writer bar none.)

I'll have to check out David Foster, but if he can catch the nuances of the Australian language like Robert G. Barrett, he would be wonderful to behold. There you go.

Thanks, Helen. Consider it ordered.

I read the first Barrett book. It was good for a chuckle, but halfway through the second I'd had enough.

* It: The Pale Blue Crocheted Coat Hanger Cover.

Tony T., if you are going to give him another go, Robert G.'s book, "The Godson" is well worth a read -- he had learned how to put a story together by that stage.

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