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Crack open the darjeeling

Congrats Tony. Well done.

Jesus. The year Melbourne's having, and you're teetotaling? Sweet liquor eases the pain, y'know. Take it from me.

Seriously, good effort.

You mean you effected personal change for the better without government intervention? Bar the doors Tony, Rudd's thought police will be coming for you soon...

You can't get out of it that easily. There will be a tax on personal change and Darjeeling once they're done with the boozers and the smokers.

But seriously, my sincere condolences to you Tone.

You keep it up Tony and I'll keep drinking for two. A win-hic-win situation.

Five years? A damn fine showing, Tony.

Well at least you can still TAKE the piss.

And A piss one presumes.

So all in all there is still "piss" in your life


"A big cold thirst needs a big hot tea."

Well dones, good efforts, thought polices, condolences, win-hic-wins, fine showings, PISS takings... thanks everybody.


alcohol attacks every organ of the human body.
heroin only harms about 3 of 'em.
after 2 drinks, nobody speaks softly or sounds clever.
a drunk man can't get it up.
a drunk chick mostly throws up.
and alcohol mainly prevents The Medication from working well.
nuff said.

"alcohol attacks every organ of the human body."

I like to think of it more as a sensual union. Some people's bodies may be a temple - mine's a nightclub.

"heroin only harms about 3 of 'em."

Been there, done that. A lovely drug - like pot - for procrastinating and dreaming. Except anyone with a bit of wit and spit about them works out eventually it's the doing not the dreaming that really makes you come alive.

"a drunk man can't get it up."

That's why oral sex was invented. "Do you have a straw? One of those bendy ones?"

"a drunk chick mostly throws up."

True. But it can be quite a bonding moment as well if yer willing to ride with it.

"after 2 drinks, nobody speaks softly or sounds clever."


Congratulation Tones 5 years off the slops, although unaustralian, is an admirable feat. One that I'm sure has done you no harm and maybe even some good.

However 5 years off the turps for one who daily didacts with tomorrows leaders and breeders in the post secondary pre tertiary badlands that is TAFE deserves an Australian Story all by itself. Hell most teacher I know couldn't complete one week off the sauce.

There is however one thought that scares me - the thought that perhaps if things were different that the blather, bluster and bullshit on boys sport that you write here may have been even less coherent and rational had you been off the wagon. Perish the thought - please Tony - if for no other reason stay with the Rechabites.

boynton sez:

Crack open the darjeeling

advice from a jeering darling?

"advice from a jeering darling?"

I really don't think jeering is Boynton's cup of tea. However, I'm sure she can ''accidently" squirt some lemon into an eye - but only under extreme provocation.

Incidentally FX Holden, do yourself a favour and download the David Holmes soundtrack to Ocean's 13. Never mind the movie, David's music is excellently composed, very wittily and knowingly arranged and beautifully played funky R'n'B for the noughties. And beyond that, this skinny little Irish prick, is I think, going to end up as one the best soundtrack composers of the early 21st century.

this skinny little Irish prick

You talkin to me?

Is that an insult or a compliment?

bah - for a while you had me looking for the John Holmes sound track.

A different kettle of fish so to speak.

Would I write complete AND absolute gibberish if I was still on the sauce? Probably.

David Holmes is terrific. I even included on of his songs in my Top Ten of the last 20 years before 2005:

1. New Mistake - Jellyfish (1993)
2. Hotel Illness - The Black Crowes (1992)
3. Let's Get Killed - David Holmes (1997)
4. High On A Hilltop - Nick Lowe (1998)
5. Wayfarin' Stranger - Spearhead (1997)
6. Monkey With A Gun - The Yayhoos (2001)
7. Now It's On - Grandaddy (2004)
8. White City Fighting - Peter Townshend (1985)
9. Swallowed By The Cracks - David & David (1986)
10. Spring Rain - The Go-Betweens (1985)

Holmes' soundtrack to Oceans 11 was the reason I watched the fillum in the first place. The fact that it was a pretty good fillum was a bonus. His soundtrack to Oceans 12 was about the only good thing in the fillum.

Mal de Merde.

New Mistake!? I remember now why I like you Tone.

I thought it was my winning personality. My (new) mistake.

If it keeps you away from the Veronicas, this can only be a very good thing. Indeed, think of all the embarassing karaoke moments that will never be captured on film.

Congrats Tony.

Thanks, S. It takes a lot to get me anywhere near the Veronicas, but any extra efforts to keep them outside ears' length are studiously acknowledged.

Does anyone know if and/or when the pre-mix tax comes into force?

I really can't seeing the tax having the effect that the Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice wants.

You don't need the piss if you've got Jesus.

Harry as much as I appreciate the sentiment, these modern day christians who denounce the piss, forget that their lord turned water into wine when a week long partay ran out of the good drop, what a guy, I've tried inviting happy clappers to my partays, but they're useless!

Remember, if nothing else, your liver loves you today.

It'll be 11 for me on the anniversary of D-Day. Fitting, somehow.

Remember, if nothing else, your liver loves you today.

It'll be 11 for me on the anniversary of D-Day. Fitting, somehow.

Remember, if nothing else, your liver loves you today.

It'll be 11 for me on the anniversary of D-Day. Fitting, somehow.

Remember, if nothing else, your liver loves you today.

It'll be 11 for me on the anniversary of D-Day. Fitting, somehow.

yes Tony - it is your whining personality.

Who needs Jesus when they have KC? And FX.

"Who needs Jesus when they have KC? And FX.'

Or a nice warm chair to inhale.

*You don't need the piss if you've got Jesus.*

I really can't see myself taking the Jesus out of people who are acting like idiots...

Or taking a Jesus and going "aaahhhhhh" after numerous cold ones for that matter.

"You could get it baptizing a baby
A big cold thirst needs a big cold Jesus."

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