TWENTY/20 VIS... Oh, shut up!

Didn't see more than ten minutes of the match on Tuesday night, but I did listen to it... on SEN. Yes, that's right, SEN broadcast the cricket from the WACA.

It wasn't much chop, but it wasn't dreadful, either. It was certainly different to ABC.

The commentators were Anthony Hudson, Mark Readings, Billy Brownless, Justing Langer and Rodney Hogg. Huddo, put a sock in it. The little bloke knows his stuff, but his shrill, grating voice borders on a crime: GBH of the Earhole. Readings - as in Otis Reddings - is your typical radio vocal robot; his smooth voice augmented by an American-style patter. Yes, awful. At least I never heard him say a player "got the job done." Billy Brownless is Straya's foremost exponent of Just Happy To Be There; thus he didn't do much more than wise-crack in the background. Gnome B.N. isn't up to it; a poor voice, wonky delivery, no great insights to impart. At least he wasn't George Grljusich. Ooops, I forgot. Hoggy was gold, but. With everyone and their pet theory talking up the possibility of a four prong pace attack in Melbourne Hoggy was asked "You think we should play four fast bowlers in Melbourne?" He doesn't mess around: "No. Madness. The drop-in pitch is a paddock. Everyone is very disappointed." I wish everyone would tell everyone else who keep talking up the possibility. You know, it could be one of those Edgbaston stings, or Gabba revisited: lull the Indians into thinking the Melbourne pitch is like old Perth, and get 'em to send us in on a road.

A fun time was had by all. Kind of fitting, really. Be interesting to see if they do it again.

Richard Hinds has more on Twenty20 in general:

Setting sights on Twenty20 vision

READERS of the less decoratively coloured sections of this newspaper might have noticed a few significant developments in the hitherto hit-and-giggle world of Twenty20 cricket.

In no particular order:

■The decision by several members of the Australian team to sign on for the Indian Premier League Twenty20 competition on lucrative contracts without the consent of Cricket Australia was reported to be the greatest potential cause of a player mutiny since the late Kerry Packer first wondered what Viv Richards would look like in pink pyjamas.

■The appointment of Lara Bingle's boyfriend (bloke by the name of Michael Clarke, apparently) to captain Australia's Twenty20 team against New Zealand was not considered a token gesture for a meaningless romp, but proof positive that the team's next captain had been anointed. (Clarke, not Bingle.)

■Cricket Australia announced that it would next season abandon the tri-series one-day format that had been an integral part of summer since 1979-80 when it was known as the World Series Cup. The official reason for the change was an international schedule that is now tighter than Kyle Sandiland's belt buckle after his Christmas pudding. However, the fading popularity of the (and yes, this does sound like an oxymoron) traditional 50-over game compared with Twenty20 might also be a factor.

The upshot?

Read on.

Back at Tuesday night. Was that the youngest commentary team Channel Nine have ever had? Dick, Slogger, Tubbs, Heals, Smuthy, JB and assorted players meant that there were no fossils, which was nice, but it also meant that any sort of analysis went MIA. Not that it seemed to matter because they, like the SEN funsters, seemed to be having a whale of a time. Dick was gushing, Slogger sucking, Tubbs mumbling, Heals chipping, Smuthy copping a pasting (no one does the "us poor Kiwis" sadsack quite like Smuthy), JB was probably the best. It can only be a matter of time until he gets a gig in the Nine booth on a permanent basis. He's heaps better than the rest of them. The players were good, too.

Players' off-the-cuff TV commentary a winner

UNSCRIPTED observations from Adam Gilchrist as the ball smacked into his gloves and typically irreverent commentary from Andrew Symonds as he ran into bowl during Tuesday night's Twenty20 game have strengthened the Nine Network's resolve to enliven more traditional forms of the game with such broadcasting innovations — provided the players embrace them.

Gilly will surely following Brayshaw; Sidey Roy was typically irreverent but is unlikely to end up commentating given his propensity to "do a Hoggy" and speak his mind; Danny Vetori was good value, too, despite being swarmed by flies.

Petrocelli: "And in closing, Your Honour, can I just take you back to the night of the match."

Two incidents:

18.1	Mills to Symonds, 2 runs, cracking catch from Taylor, sliding just inside the rope. There's a referral, but ... oh hang on, it's been given not out as he was deemed to have spilled it at the last minute, although he looked to have full control for several seconds
Hmm, a let-off for Symonds I suspect

And:

1.5	Bracken to McCullum, 1 run, tight on off, the ball poked to cover, and Symonds flings down the stumps, or should I say stump, his underarm throw at full stretch takes the one stick he had to aim for at the non-striker's
It's very tight, and various replays are inconclusive enough to award the batsman the benefit. The crowd are unimpressed, but they may have more of a contest now McCullum's still in, rightly too

Because I missed the game, I taped the Foxtel highlights. Now, I don't want to cast any nasturtiums here, but neither of those contentious issues were shown on the replay. In fact, they completely skipped over both Straya's 18th over and New Z'lund's 2nd over.

Comments

[nick]

Symonds was out and McCullum was in. That was as good as it got.

[Gareth]

Not convinced McCullum was in, nick.

The first replay showed he was clearly out. The next two replays were inconclusive because the crucial moment was caught between frames on the fixed-side-on-to-the-wicket camera.

ie. Frame one: ball yet to hit the stumps and bat 5cm short of the line. Frame two: bail clearly dislodged well into the air and bat 3cm past the line. Useless!

What's the point of having fixed cameras for runout decisions if you're not going to install high-speed ones that will get the job done? Ridiculous.

I thought Symonds was out too. But even Smuthy seemed to concede that it was not out, his logic being that because Taylor threw the pill away as he was sliding towards the rope, then he did not control the ball inside the field of play. Seemed spurious to me and I couldn't believe the Kiwis didn't argue the toss.

[Andrew Mosey]

Can't believe they cut that Taylor 'catch', was the highlight of the game.

Taylor took it beautifully inside the rope and his momemtum rolled him closer to the boundary.. guess he thought he was going to touch the rope so he turfed it before making the catch a 6!

In reality he was a good metre inside the rope and now deserves to be known as Herscelle.
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http://www.oxenshizer.blogspot.com

[nick]

It's amazing how many times the salient moment is 'between frames' or 'obscured by huge unfit unpire's ass'. Why not aim the superslomo thingum at the line...it'll certainly be free this summer, as they won't be pointing the thing at Harbajan, and they'll save some money because all the on field microphones will be gone as well.

[Big Ramifications]

Tait's first ball was a freakin corker. Tidy catch by Mr Gilchurch, too.

BTW, I thought Tait chucked a bit.

Henceforth, I am going to call him Chucky.

[nick]

Cricket Australia must have taken O'Keeffe's advice then. At least our 'Chucky' will bowl well on Australian wickets.

[RT]

KO'K was on radio yesterday saying the word is the MCG pitch would favour the speed bowlers big time. Maybe they are all playing the bluffing game. Bring on Boxing Day, can't wait.

Forgot the 20/20 was on, so watched WWE RAW. Somehow I see similarities.

[tONY]

Player commentary finally lived up to the hype - Gilly and Roy were bloody good. And, like Mr Big above, I too thought there was something decidedly queer about Tait's action. Maybe I'm just getting preconditioned from reading AGB too often. Bing was very impressive, Voges and Pomeswhatever held themselves together, and much as I hate to say it, Clarke did OK as captain, if as always too gushing and enthusiastic.

Fuck I hate Vetori - like I hated Hadlee. Kiwi's who actually are good, rather than just think they are.

And Perth looked genuinely hard and fast - maybe we are back to the old days...

[Adsy]

I thought JB was the best by far, considering he knows a bit about the game but didn't play the "professional" card, whereas every other past Aussie player on their panel (Tubbs, Slatts, Heals, CHAPPELLI FOR CHRIST SAKE) sometimes talk down on the viewers as if they are trying to validate their comments/paypackets. You need the serious and the comedic I guess but it was a nice change. I doubt he will take anything full time after his commitment to Norf either.

Other comments not noted by Hindo/Hindsy/Hinda:

- Melbourne pitch will be the same as every year. A fair bit in for the quicks early before settling down Day 2 and half of Day 3 before getting lower and lower and spinning more and more. I say we bat for the first three days and bowl them out twice (with a spinner)

- Vettori handled himself well considering he was being pestered by the commentators whilst trying to hold down Roy. Roy did extremely well not to let anymore expletives go after being manhandled by J.Oreo. Apt nickname considering hes a white fella who was hitting them like Viv Richards.

- Another 20/20 innovation could be a crowd competition with the winner getting to perform a Stone Cold Stunner on Ian Healy.

[nick]

Vettori doesn't like Tait. Gamesmanship or a genuine chucker? I think he slings - but that's not a chuck. Healy was stunned when caught on camera eating some shite from the WACA's entrails.

[Yobbo]

The best part was how about 3 different commentators mistakenly referred to Jeetan Patel as "Jeehad Patel".

Gold.

[Scott Wickstein]

It's all a load of cobbers for the plebs if you ask me. Roll on Boxing Day.

[Big Ramifications]

I think he slings - but that's not a chuck.

I dont believe what you're saying to me.
This is something I gotta see is he here?
Look in the poolhall is he here?
Look in the drugstore is he here?
No, he dont come here no more.

Chucky's in love with the little girl who's singing this song.
Chucky's in love with me.

Sing it, Shaun!

[Bruce]

I enjoyed it but I think it was mostly due to the previous month's worth of cricket starvation.

Taylor's catch wasn't because he chose to throw it away.

[Tony T.]

Get a grip, Biggy Boy.

For what it's worth the SEN commentators immediately thought McCullum was out and laughed when he was given not out. But they did acknowledge that it's amazing how often footage proves inconclusive.

I didn't see it.

Anyone pick up any static between JB and Tubby & Dick? Could be Nine are grooming JB for Richie's job and there's a bit of resentment. At one point Tubby chipped JB and it didn't sound like fun-and-games. And Dick was sulking.

[pat]

Let's not let this Twenty/20, Chappell/Hadlee, Warne/Muralitharan Trophy cloud our minds and judgement. For those with eyes that see will surely know and feel, that this is the summer of our discontent with none to make it glorious.

Our batting is as strong as ever, if not one of the longest and strongest lineups ever produced in Oz. But our bowling strength is mediocre. Day 5 at Bellerive is the harbinger of grey days ahead for Oz. We should not forget amidst all the praise of Lee, and talk of 3 pronged pace attacks that only one thing stood between Australia and a 500+ run defeat.

The effortlessly brutal flogging of everything Oz threw at Sangakarra, compounded by our inability to remove Malinga (42 no) is an omen of very bad tidings.

Lee is not of a standard to lead a bowling attack. Although much improved in consistency he has very little guile and even less variation not to mention he acts like a cock. Tait is similar whose only advantage is in not appearing to be a cock.

Stuart Clark has a very long way to go to get back to where he was last year let alone replicate Mcgrath. Johnson is dissapointing.

The best of the lot of em is Bracken and there aren't many days left in him.

As for spin options...we have none.

The cupboard is bare my friends. The only thing that saves us is the fact that the rest of the cricketing world is even more useless, and spineless. It's been a long summer already. It stretches off into eternity.

[Vindicate]

I like JB. He's got more wit than the rest of em put together.

Well 'cept maybe Richie who is prone to let slip a very dry tongue-in-cheek one occasionally, not as good as he used to be though.

Get JB and Dennis Cometti and you've got a winning combination there, too bad they'd have to bring in the "B" team when the lads take a breather.