The question is not "Why would a man put sex toys in sausages?". I mean, we've all been there. It's "Why have them wrapped and cooled back at the butcher's?":
Man hides sex toys in German sausage for trip
BERLIN - Staff at a German butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai, police said.
"It was two latex dildos with a natural look," said a spokesman for police in the southwestern city of Mannheim.
After shopping there earlier in the day, the man, who spoke broken English, returned to the butcher's with two large "Schwartenmagen" sausages.
He asked a shop assistant to wrap and cool them until he departed for Dubai the next day.
Spotted courtesy of TimT, but I can't remember exactly where.
Only the best jokes please; not the wurst.
Posted by: Tony T. | 27 September 2007 at 13:57
And did he think that the authorities wouldn't be even slightly suspicious that some German was importing his huge spicy sausage?
This is like an episode of Allo Allo.
Posted by: Adam 1.0 | 27 September 2007 at 14:38
Only better.
I love the way the helpful spokesman suggested "He could have used a loaf of bread" like he is used to solving all kinds of difficult food/sex-toy dilemmas.
Posted by: Tony T. | 27 September 2007 at 15:09
Too easy fellas - I'm guessing he's from the Gulf States. Sex toys are illegal there, but that does little to demand. I'd guess he was just smuggling them home.
Posted by: 13th Man | 27 September 2007 at 15:47
Dubai.
Yep, no doubt he was looking to sneak the snags beck into the Mid East, but it still doesn't excuse his meat-headedness in taking them back to the butcher's for wrapping and cooling.
Posted by: Tony T. | 27 September 2007 at 15:52
Should've shipped 'em via Emirates.
Probably thought it would be easier to slip (!) them through customs via the supplier.
You're right though - still a tool (I kill myself!).
Posted by: 13th Man | 27 September 2007 at 16:43
He should have employed traditional methods - slipped (!) them in a condom and swallowed them.
Posted by: Tony T. | 27 September 2007 at 17:12
I have an offal feeling that ewe guys are punning here, but I just can't quite put my finger on it.
Posted by: David | 27 September 2007 at 19:41
This is the country whose national football team is called the Mannschaft after all.
Posted by: Amanda | 27 September 2007 at 20:34
C'mon, who's going to trot out the ole 'hiding the sausage' in the sausage crapola?
Posted by: CB | 27 September 2007 at 21:44
Mannschaft? Then what are the German women's team called?
Posted by: Tony T. | 28 September 2007 at 13:37
East German women's team, perhaps.
(When there was an East German women's team, that is. Or East German women. Either way, the communists schafted them all.)
Posted by: TimT | 28 September 2007 at 15:36
Apparently the German women's team is called Die Nationalelf, which is certainly less dicky than Die Womannschaft.
Please to not with the "The, Nationalelf, The" jokes already ok. Danke.
Posted by: Tony T. | 28 September 2007 at 18:06
I certainly would never do such a thing.
National 'Elf and Safety is something too important to joke about.
Posted by: TimT | 28 September 2007 at 18:23
Same goes for Elf and Efficiency; two things very close to the heart of most Germans.
Posted by: Tony T. | 29 September 2007 at 13:10