SCHLOCK BUSTER

This post at Demonland looks absurd:

Jarred Waite has just been ruled out with a headache that starts Sunday afternoon.

Marc Murphy has just been ruled next week as he has to buy panadol for Waite.

Carazzo has just been ruled out as he has to drive Murphy to the pharmacy.

Gibbs has just been ruled out as he has to tell Carazzo where the pharmacy is.

Betts has been ruled out because he cant stand to see anyone with a headache.

Whitnall has been ruled out because he might want to buy some jellybeans at the chemist and ruin his diet.

O'Hailpin has been ruled out because he is upset that Whitnall can't have his jellybeans etc.

But is it?

Sunday's match between Melbourne and Carlton has the potential to be every bit as embarrassing to the AFL as any of the recent drug revelations. The thing is, it's got to be one of the most interesting scenarios for a long time. Could the potential worst match of the season be the best match of the season? The best worst, anyway. Despite what anyone says, neither side wants to win, neither side can afford to win, so a nil/all draw is on the cards. Carlton would be stupid to win and lose the No.1 pick, and so what if they beat a 14th placed Melbourne. The same can be said about Melbourne. Win and the Demons lose their priority pick and get shunted from Pick 2 to Pick 4, and so what if they beat a 15th placed Carlton. And if Richmond win, Melbourne could end up with the added anti-bonus of the spoon - and the No. 1 Pick. Go, the Tiges! Not that Richmond are going to try and win. Put your house on St Kilda this week. In fact, put your house, your life savings, your car, your furniture, your family and your favourite dogs-playing-poker picture on the Saints. Naturally, the AFL are spinning the "no one tanks" line, but no one believes them. Personally, I hope Melbourne lose, but knowing Melbourne, they will find some stupid way to win.

It will be interesting to see if the punters come up with any juicy signage. Signage is what the rest of us call signs. Doubtless the AFL Nazis will stamp out any shenanigans, can't "damage the brand" and all that guff, but if you feel like making a statement, I'll buy the textas. Those of you with memories of the Eighties will recognize the sign on the left. Well, almost recognize. And those of you with memories that don't stretch back that far will recall these two from the Nineties. You know what they say: "If you remember the Nineties, you were there."

Comments

[David]

Just found the blog, and am LOVING it.

Yep, agree with you fully (as a Blues supporter) - this game is going to be off the charts awful. The rumour I heard was that it was going to be a race to see who rushed the first behind, and then a reverse flood by both teams (in their own forward lines), ensuring that nothing else got through.

[Tony T.]

Thanks, Dave.

I was thinking this arvo something very much along your lines. It could be that one team accidentally steals a break, say three goals, and instead of trying to defend the lead, tries to give it up. Spotting the skills needed to tank could put a whole new perspective on spectator sports.

We should get Pete Rose in for special comments.

[Tony T.]

Further thinking - yes, that's right - has led me to another irrefutable conclusion: if, as the likes of Dermot would have it, the games with major floods (StKilda vs. Hawthorn, Geelong vs. Hawthorn, Sydney vs. Hawthorn - oops, common denominator!) are great for the purists, then games with major tanks should be just as attractive to the purists.

[via collins]

Saw a bunch of geezers in Dan Murphy's t-shirts strolling into the Fitzroy pool this a.m.

The blood-nut was in tip-top physical shape from my view, how he couldn't kick 40 metres on Sat arvo is now a bigger mystery to moi at least.

But then the end of season is a veritable Sargasso Sea these days.

How's the prognostical charts for Rd 22 in the inkies today? Haven't seen anything that confusing since The Beezer and Barry Jones' edumacational spaghetti charts,

[Tony T.]

The bunch o' geezers strolling into the Fizza pool must be a ruse. With the tank on, they would be far better served strolling into Dan Murphy's.

[nick]

If Melbourne tanks in round 22 in 2007, will anyone notice? I look forward to next Mondays post, with photo of said players (in Dan Murphys attire) - TANK TOPS.

[Mark]

As a Boston Celtics fan, I know all about tanking - and a lot of fucking good it did... No. 5 draft pick, and ended up having to trade the entire roster for Garnett & Allen.

It's so bad that I'm now the No. 2 Point Guard for the coming season.

[Scott Wickstein]

L33t signage skillz, Tony.

What a farce the AFL have served up for us. Idiots.

[Yobbo]

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22323589-2,00.html

[Yobbo]

http://www.foxsports.com.au/story/0,8659,22320101-23211,00.html

[Tony T.]

N: T.T. is V.G.

M: One thing about our system is that there is no lottery. If an AFL team tanks and comes bottom, it is guaranteed the goodies. Not so in the NBA where the tanker is only guaranteed a spot in the lottery.

W: What does L33t mean? I've looked at it over and over, saying it out loud, spelling it, even wrote it down once and I'm still none the wiser.

Y: I saw that on Kouta. There were other Blues legends inside the paper who backed him up. It's not a good look. Still, I curse the priority pick system every time I see Judd C. running around for the Illeagles.

[Scott Wickstein]

l33t..leet.. some kids lingo for 'cool' that I think that the cell-phone generation use a lot. I could be wrong, I was only ever cool once, and that was in 1979. Ask your students.

[Tony T.]

Shizzy, dude, yo.

[David]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=l33t

More than you ever needed to know about why the kids today kant spel!

[Tony T.]

EL-EET: I get it now. As a X-Werd affectionado, I rather like that. Were I young and hipp I would say something like "my slow" but I'm not so I won't.