THAT'S NOT A QUOTE, THIS IS A QUOTE

Tuesday night I took one for the team and watched 50/1 Great Fillum Quotes. The list was pretty much what you'd expect: "YB", "YA", "YGNABB", "YTTM?", "YCHTT"; you know, the usual suspects. The quotes ranged from the occasional goody to most being utter pants, but the best by far was not from a film at all, it was from the only grown up in attendance, Bill Collins.

No. 39 was Our Rusty from Gladiator: "At my signal, unleash hell." Yeah, I didn't know it was a quote either. Still, that didn't stop the Channel Nine staffers roped in for the publicity, Dick Wilkins, James Brayshaw, DB and SJ (I jotted down their initials, but can't remember their names), blathering on about how Rusty inspired them to all-but invade Channel Seven. Not so Bill. Dry as a desert dog he smirked:

"He spoke clearly."

"Didn't he win an Academy Award?"

"Congratulations."

No.1 with a ballot.

Bill also dismissed Forrest Gump's "LILABOC" with "I can't take it (the film) seriously. OR his box of chocolates."

The rest of the show confirmed just how much mediocrity loiters around Australian telly.

Bert Newton top-n-tailed. Surely Bert and his enormous, genetically modified bonce ought to be well into retirement. He also referred to Meg Ryan as a "great actress"; well, he is getting on a bit, the old boy.

Nick Giannopoulos, Vince Sorrenti and Vince Colosimo were the wogs in work. I like Colosimo, but Giannopoulos and Sorrenti spent most of the time demonstrating just how piss-poor they are at impressions. Giannopoulos also said The Shining's "Here's Johnny" was great because "Johnny Carson had never been on TV in Australia".

Peter FitzSimons is a dick.

Some fat guy called Tim made the odd point.

The Umbilical Brothers did, well, something or other.

Andrew Mercado said Titanic's "I'm the king of the world!" is a stupid line. Whoever he is, well said, Andrew. What's more, anyone with any sense should prefer Jimmy Cagney's "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!" from White Heat.

Jim Brayshaw anointed Dead Poets Society - "perfect film".

Apparently, Joh Bailey, Celebrity Hairdresser has an opinion worth sharing.

Amanda Keller did one of those things guaranteed to get on my tits. Relating another dumb anecdote, she boasted "everyone says I'm crazy", or words to that effect.

Tottie Goldsmith should be top ten in 50/1 Great Stupid Comments. Bemused by "shaken, not stirred," she asked "How would you shake a martini, anyhow?"

Meanwhile, here's the top 48 in full-ish:

48. "WWHHIAFTC." *
47. "YB!" *
46. "SHTMLF." *
45. "WOAMFG." *
44. "YGNABB." *
43. "WYGC?" *
42. "GM, GA, GE & GN." *
41. "NPBITC." *
40. "HYEDWTDITPM?" *
39. "AMS, UH." *
38. "ICHC. ICBAC. ICBS." *
37. "ITKOTW!" *
36. "STD!" *
35. "S!" *
34. "BOTG." *
33. "P, S, IWSM." *
32. "Y, A!" *
31. "E-E-E." *
30. "IAHLWSFV&ANC." *
29. "GM, V!" *
28. "ITAGIYPOAYJGTSM?" *
27. "TH." *
26. "IFTN ... TNFS." *
25. "YT, M." *
24. "IANAA! IAAHB!" *
23. "TFROFIYDTAF." *
22. "IBB." *
21. "WO, WO." *
20. "THHD." *
19. "ET, PH." *
18. "TNAK, TIAK." *
17. "T, IAFWNIKA." *
16. "ISDP." *
15. "LILABOC." *
14. "YTTM?" *
13. "MTFBWY."*
12. "TMTOL, BTNTOF." *
11. "HJ." *
10. "B,JB." and "S,NS." *
9. "DYFLP?" and "GA, MMD." *
7. "SMTM!" *
6. Selection from Casablanca. *
5. "IHWSH." *
4. "YCHTT." *
3. "IGTMHAOHCR." *
2. "ILTSONITM." *
1. "F, MD, IDGAD." *

PS: Does chutzpah rhyme with foot-spar, or (Lionel) hutz-par? Someone on the show used the latter.

PSS: Who knew that Mae West's "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me" was from 1978's Sextette? I thought that quote had been around for ever. And who's seen Sextette, anyway? Certainly, the thought of octogenarian Mae slutting it up in a seventies romp flop, is a thought I try very, very hard not to think.

Comments

[Tony T.]

Dunno what happened around 10, 9 and 8. I'm pretty sure they tried to cram four quotes into three, or something like that.

[Tony T.]

Harry M. Miller was along for the ride, too. Can't remember anything he said.

Do you reckon he'd be interested in managing this post?

[Francis Xavier Holden]

I see in your last few posts you are into a bit of the "old list action". Rhymes with...

[Tony T.]

I'm not sure two posts constitutes Old List Action, even if it does rhyme with vulgar fraction dissatisfaction.

[John_R]

"IGDWTS, HWNHMTS" - Eli Wallach in "The Magnificent Seven". A quote I think of often when I hear about idiots giving money to spammers or con-men.

[Francis Xavier Holden]

F MD IDGAD

Fuck Me, I Don't Get Anthony's Direction

[RT]

"Why Not" make it Tone? Obviously not.

Bill Collins - working beautifully.

[Scott Wickstein]

Not much to do in the evenings, Tony?

[Mark]

"I dare you - say 'what' again..."

"What?"

[Yobbo]

IKIWY,F. YBMH, YBMH!

[Yobbo]

Here's the translated list. Why did you leave out #49?

[Tony.T]

I missed the first few minutes and only came in at No. 48.

Here's a better list. Our 50/1 obviously looked at it and thought "let's Strayan that one up", thus we get a watered down load of shit.

(If you hover over the blue asterisk after each of my entries, you get a clue as to the quote.)

[Tony.T]

By the way, No.31 is ridiculous. It's Eee-Eee-Eee, which is the soundtrack of Psycho as Janet Leigh gets cleaned up in the shower scene.

Obviously the Strayan compilers thought they were being clever.

[woody]

Best line ever comes from Clint Eastwood in "The Outlaw Josey Wales" when the bounty hunter pursuing Josey tells him that he does the job because "It's a living", to which Josey/Clint replies..."Dying ain't much of a living".

[Harry]

Those aren't quotes. They're quotations.

[Mark]

Jim Brayshaw anointed Dead Poets Society - "perfect film".

How can any film in which Scarlet Johanssen doesn't get 'em out for the lads be deemed 'perfect'?

[The Green Man]

Well I didn't take one for the team (there's no "i" in "team" yannow) and see the show so I may be barking up the wrong creek with no outboard, and gee I may be being slightly anal (most people on here will feel at home with that) but I am rather surprised that no-one here has pointed out the rather obvious fact the "Play it again Sam" was never actually uttered in Casablanca as all good film affishios will no doubt recall.

"Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By.' was what was said by La Bergman.

So if, as seems the case, said TV program did list "Play it again Sam" as their #6 (as the translated list states) then the people connected with said TV program are even greater morons than everyone claims.

BTW I deleted a double exclamation mark after the previous sentence when I recalled how Elaine got bagged for overuse in a Seinfeld ep (so if you can imagine them there, please feel free...)

And yes TT you are right about the Oz-trasizing of the list... Muriel's wedding and The Castle FFS?!?! Maybe Mick Dundee's knife quote in the 40s though.

I don't think the Gimp should've made it either.

Nuffin against Gimps mind you...

[Tony T.]

Greeny, although it says "Play it again, Sam" in the chatroom list, I'm pretty sure - not certain, mind - that the TV show said "PIA,S" was never an actual quote.

The ones mentioned for Casablanca were, as you say, "Play it, Sam. Play As Time Goes By", "this could be the beginning of beautiful friendship", "round up the usual suspects", "we'll always have Paris" and maybe one or two others.

[The Green Man]

Ahhh thank you for the clarification there TT.

If the TV show did say "PIA, S" was never an actual quote then maybe they should not have mentioned it all !!

(If Elaine can do it, so can I godammit !!)

Although it does open up the possibility of the "50 Greatest Movie Misquotes Of All Time" with "PIA,S" surely somewhere near the top of the list.

There are some goodies listed here although they are not ranked.

[Russell Allen]

They really should rename the programme to something more appropriate, either:

Bert and The Half-Wits

or...

Jessica Rowe Must Be Shite If They Wouldn't Even Give Her A Regular Gig On This Piece Of Pus

[Tony T.]

Now there's an idea: 20/1 Great Bonings.

[Alex]

I like this quote: Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are,

[Mr Z]

Alex, I have no friends. Therefore I don't exist.

And even if I did have friends, I would not show them to you.