Tuesday night I took one for the team and watched 50/1 Great Fillum Quotes. The list was pretty much what you'd expect: "YB", "YA", "YGNABB", "YTTM?", "YCHTT"; you know, the usual suspects. The quotes ranged from the occasional goody to most being utter pants, but the best by far was not from a film at all, it was from the only grown up in attendance, Bill Collins.
No. 39 was Our Rusty from Gladiator: "At my signal, unleash hell." Yeah, I didn't know it was a quote either. Still, that didn't stop the Channel Nine staffers roped in for the publicity, Dick Wilkins, James Brayshaw, DB and SJ (I jotted down their initials, but can't remember their names), blathering on about how Rusty inspired them to all-but invade Channel Seven. Not so Bill. Dry as a desert dog he smirked:
"He spoke clearly."
"Didn't he win an Academy Award?"
"Congratulations."
No.1 with a ballot.
Bill also dismissed Forrest Gump's "LILABOC" with "I can't take it (the film) seriously. OR his box of chocolates."
The rest of the show confirmed just how much mediocrity loiters around Australian telly.
Bert Newton top-n-tailed. Surely Bert and his enormous, genetically modified bonce ought to be well into retirement. He also referred to Meg Ryan as a "great actress"; well, he is getting on a bit, the old boy.
Nick Giannopoulos, Vince Sorrenti and Vince Colosimo were the wogs in work. I like Colosimo, but Giannopoulos and Sorrenti spent most of the time demonstrating just how piss-poor they are at impressions. Giannopoulos also said The Shining's "Here's Johnny" was great because "Johnny Carson had never been on TV in Australia".
Peter FitzSimons is a dick.
Some fat guy called Tim made the odd point.
The Umbilical Brothers did, well, something or other.
Andrew Mercado said Titanic's "I'm the king of the world!" is a stupid line. Whoever he is, well said, Andrew. What's more, anyone with any sense should prefer Jimmy Cagney's "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!" from White Heat.
Jim Brayshaw anointed Dead Poets Society - "perfect film".
Apparently, Joh Bailey, Celebrity Hairdresser has an opinion worth sharing.
Amanda Keller did one of those things guaranteed to get on my tits. Relating another dumb anecdote, she boasted "everyone says I'm crazy", or words to that effect.
Tottie Goldsmith should be top ten in 50/1 Great Stupid Comments. Bemused by "shaken, not stirred," she asked "How would you shake a martini, anyhow?"
Meanwhile, here's the top 48 in full-ish:
48. "WWHHIAFTC." *
47. "YB!" *
46. "SHTMLF." *
45. "WOAMFG." *
44. "YGNABB." *
43. "WYGC?" *
42. "GM, GA, GE & GN." *
41. "NPBITC." *
40. "HYEDWTDITPM?" *
39. "AMS, UH." *
38. "ICHC. ICBAC. ICBS." *
37. "ITKOTW!" *
36. "STD!" *
35. "S!" *
34. "BOTG." *
33. "P, S, IWSM." *
32. "Y, A!" *
31. "E-E-E." *
30. "IAHLWSFV&ANC." *
29. "GM, V!" *
28. "ITAGIYPOAYJGTSM?" *
27. "TH." *
26. "IFTN ... TNFS." *
25. "YT, M." *
24. "IANAA! IAAHB!" *
23. "TFROFIYDTAF." *
22. "IBB." *
21. "WO, WO." *
20. "THHD." *
19. "ET, PH." *
18. "TNAK, TIAK." *
17. "T, IAFWNIKA." *
16. "ISDP." *
15. "LILABOC." *
14. "YTTM?" *
13. "MTFBWY."*
12. "TMTOL, BTNTOF." *
11. "HJ." *
10. "B,JB." and "S,NS." *
9. "DYFLP?" and "GA, MMD." *
7. "SMTM!" *
6. Selection from Casablanca. *
5. "IHWSH." *
4. "YCHTT." *
3. "IGTMHAOHCR." *
2. "ILTSONITM." *
1. "F, MD, IDGAD." *
PS: Does chutzpah rhyme with foot-spar, or (Lionel) hutz-par? Someone on the show used the latter.
PSS: Who knew that Mae West's "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me" was from 1978's Sextette? I thought that quote had been around for ever. And who's seen Sextette, anyway? Certainly, the thought of octogenarian Mae slutting it up in a seventies romp flop, is a thought I try very, very hard not to think.
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