WORLD CUPDATE XVII: MAUL GUNS BLAZING

So, Sorth Efrica's plan was to come out firing and put Straya on the back foot from the start. That worked well.

"The latest chapter in South Africa's sorry World Cup history was put down to a case of stage fright as South Africa once again suffered semi-final heartache at the hands of Australia. The much-vaunted South African top order, including Jacques Kallis and Graeme Smith, was back inside the pavilion within the first ten overs as they collapsed to 27 for 5 in a sequence that left some of their former team-mates stunned."

Listening on the wahless it was obvious that as soon as Smith and Kallis were gone, so were SA.

Striking a top-order balance between sensible tonking and recklessness is the key to one day cricket. Maybe they were goaded into it by the Strayans' pre-match barbs, maybe not. Certainly it was out of character for Jacks. Whatever way you look at it, they got the balance wrong.

(Mind you, Gilly's been getting it wrong, too; fortunately, Flatty's been getting it very right.)

Then, on the back of those two dismissals, the rest of the lineup decided they'd better not move their feet. AB, Prince, Boucher (What's he doing coming in fifth drop?), Gibbs and Hall - rubbish shots. Nor would their bowlers trouble us on anything other than a minefield. What a lame attack.

It's tempting to label SA chokers, but this time round they didn't choke, they weren't good enough to choke.

Last word to Adam Bacher: "It was boys against men," he said on public television. "They taught us a cricket lesson."

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

"Kemp is beaten having a hard-handed grope at the wrong'un."

Comments

[Anthony from Chippendale]

We've been teaching them a lesson for 15 years but when are they going to learn something!

Last night was the death of cricket rivalry between Aus & RSA. RSA cannot be considered our rival when they haven't laid a glove on us since their return.

[Tony T.]

They're like the lazy kids who sit in the back of class, occasionally smart-arsing and thinking they're clever, but mostly playing games on their phone and failing exams.

[Simon]

And the Lankans are the kids who cheat on the exams.

At least their captain no longer reminds me of the big fat school clown who used to eat all the pies in the canteen.

[Tony T.]

When they get caught they go to UWA for a resit, then it's straight back to class with a big, fat tick, an elephant stamp and a happy face.

[Russ]

Then, on the back of those two dismissals, the rest of the lineup decided they'd better not move their feet.

No surprises there, Gibbs hasn't moved his feet in ten years of international cricket. Boucher and de Villiers aren't much better. Have to say I was pleased to see them undone. Of course, I'm not one of those fans - favourites of over-excited commentators everywhere - who gets excited by a player swinging like a hills hoist in a stiff breeze at put upon medium-fast bowlers.

Also have to wonder why they didn't play Ntini. The yarpies were never going to win if they didn't bowl Australia out, no matter what total they put up.

[woody]

Woody the soothsayer here. I'd just like to refer everyone to the first post on the previous thread.
I pour scorn on all you pessimists. Such un-Australian, hiding from the gods behaviour is unmanly!
You have to taunt them. Fucking hell, we bring on Saj Mahmood - you can't taunt the gods any more than that.

Anyway, one set of used chicken entrails for sale - 100% record.

[pat]

What's the chook predicting for the final?

[os]

Sweet, sweet result. Lots of Yarpies round here not braying as loud as before.
I'm currently renting a house which is behind a granite hill, and TV reception is almost non-existent, so I haven't seen much cricket (or footy - go Eags) lately, but I saw Murali on the news last night and what a stopper ... I'd forgotten how bad that bloody action is.
One day people will look back on this and it will be so absurd the only problem they'll have is imagining how he was allowed to get away with it.

[woody]

Final result:

Batting first - Aussies by 38 runs
Batting second - Aussies by 3 wickets

A Mr Bedi from India thrown out of stadium for unveiling banner which reads "Murali is a chucker says Vishnu!"

All hail the chicken!

[pat]

Hmmm, sounds about right. My money's on the chook.

[Professor Rosseforp]

I promised not to mention the M word or the C-H-U-C-K-I-N-G word again. However, like "os" I was horrified anew at the clips of M's 4 wicket bag against the Kiwis. I enjoyed the commentator's line, "they were undone by his doosra" -- I think they meant to say "world cricket has been undone by his doosra".
I think Vaas' great bowling and the novelty value of Malinga the flinger, combined with the new "looser doosra" will undo the Aussies.
A tie would be a good result.

[Snr Nubi]

M admitting that he chucks it would be the best result, alas even if that did happen Malcolm Speed (whom always rekindles thoughts of that other oxymoron, Richard Champion) would make us all believe that he didn't say he chucks it, which brings back to were we began!! We say he does, ICC says he doesn't.

Oh don't care much for the result, why? Well, Punter & Co have proven to all that they are streets ahead on a regular basis in the PJ game & we have put the yarpies back in their box, which is really all we wanted to do all along. Oh and did I mentioned that any game with M in it needs an * also.....Nuff said.

[Yorkshire Soul]

Didn't SA fancy it then ? They were dreadful, but your blokes were as good as ever.

[Anthony from Chippendale]

You are not wrong Simon. I reckon Cricket South Africa should look at a fitness campaign as a few of there blokes are carrying far too much weight.