HAVE YOU READ ANY GOOD BOOK REVIEWS LATELY?

I haven't. I was forced to give up reading book reviews when I was diagnosed with a rare condition caused by the phrase intensely readable. (Unless I write it myself.) There is no cure.

As yogurt is to dairy, reading reviews of book reviews is allergy neutral.

Reviews of fillums are an altogether different matter:

One personal idiosyncrasy is that while I adore books that are astonishing, I do not feel the same way about other genres. Films as varied as “The Queen,” “The Last King of Scotland,” “The New World,” “Catch a Fire” and “World Trade Center” have all been labeled “astonishing,” but for me the word does not resonate in a celluloid context. And while it may be true that “Half-Nelson,” “Gabrielle” and “X-Men: The Last Stand” are all astonishing motion pictures, I have not seen any of them, as I personally do not enjoy “astonishing” motion pictures.

A poll. "The Queen" will be:

I. Boring.
II. Astonishing.
III. Worthy.

Comments

[Tony.T]

Tricked you. Worthy is really just another word for boring.

[Tony.T]

Test review of a book about yogurt:

Sonia Uvezian has never disappointed me with any of her cookbooks....[She] is an expert on yogurt.

[girtbysea]

your uninspiring choice of poll option labels is boring. have we had roman numerals yet?

[Tony.T]

Ok then. Don't say we don't give the people what they want.

[Scott Wickstein]

I sort of associated 'boring' with 'worthy' anyway.

[Tony.T]

Wicky the untricky.

[CB]

No surprises at the ending of The Queen. She lives. Let's call this myopic epic a definitive version of 'stupidious' cinema.

[pat]

I received an email last week from a school friend of mine saying "Just read a book called the Rachel Papers. My God it reminds me of you at school and Uni. I'll send it to you for a read. See if you come to the same conclusion as me."

Naturally this piqued my curiosity as there is nothing I love more than talking about myself so I looked up the reviews on Amazon of which the following seems to encapsulate the consensus of opinion on the novel:

“But the first-person description of CH himself is really the core of the novel. Every twisted, nasty thought that any teenager has ever had is there in Charles, while he masquerades to himself and us as a polite, bookish intellectual. In fact we are quietly led to believe what Charles believes of himself: that he is a cut-above the rest of the world---nasty but moral, calculating yet capable of love. It is only at the end that Amis lets us see the truth: that Charles is really just an intellectual fraud with no redeeming features at all. He abandons the possibly pregnant Rachel with a callousness that even his much-hated father would have been incapable of. By contrast, Rachel ends up a far more noble character than we had any reason to believe when seen through Charles' overly self-regarding eyes.”

I can only conclude that my ex school friend has had some sort of mid life meltdown while touring the hand relief masseurs of downtown Tokyo. Surely I am more comparable to Patrick Bateman or perhaps Jay Gatsby, both compassionate and wonderful people.

As for book reviews I have no need of them as my libraries are full and my erudition quite extensive. In fact I am quite often astonished by the barbarism daily on display by the unlearned hoi polloi and their golden book lives though my humility and ability to 'walk with kings and still maintain the common touch' allows me to always act with grace towards my fellow man.

[Gareth]

Tony, Wicky... In our newsroom there is another name for page 4: "Dull But Worthy".

So there you go.

[pat]

By the way, if anyone would like to cite my quote from above it is by Leon Uris a famous short fiction novelist whose collected works can be read in the Borzoi Book of Short Fiction.

[Kieran]

i) Boring

They do these amazing books with pictures in now and everything. They're fantastic. I can highly recommend one entitled "The Gruffalo". I'm not sure what the book reviews said about it though.
As I can't read.

[Vindicate]

IV. Will not be seen by me.

[Nabakov]

This is one of those irregular verb thingies isn't it?

I found it an incisive yet humane study of a much overlooked contempary issue
You found it worthy but dull
He hit fastforward with an eye cocked for the nudie bits

I thought it a breakthrough in visual storytelling
You thought the book was better
He's waiting for the cartoon spinoff

I found it very challenging
You found it confusing
She's out in the foyer on her mobile

I felt it was a unique cinematic experience
You felt it was crap
He thought it was a pretty typical experience

I thought it fuckin' rocked!
You liked the propulsive narrative and deft subversion of action film tropes
She just wanted to see Brad Pitt take his gear off

[james dudek]

Poems are worthy.

[girtbysea]

nabakov that is a bit too good.

I

[Tony.T]

Pat, that book should be called Catcher in the Blue Mountains. Or, as you suggest, Australian Psycho.

How are you off for expensive business cards?

[pat]

Funny that you should make that reference as my immediate reply was "The general gist of the reviews is that CH is, as Holden Caulfield would say, a phoney. Mein Got!"

I am currently looking into an exquisite range of zebra skin pattern ivory business cards for a possible purchase of a Jim's Mowing franchise. Something tasteful to go with dark green King Gee overalls.

[pat]

Did I just say King Gee? I meant Armani overalls.

[Professor Rosseforp]

All psychological thrillers are "gripping" ; all Aussie-themed books are "a great yarn" ; all authors of airport novels are "master storytellers". If you come across the term "hugger-mugger" in a book, you can put it down straight away, as it will be pretentious nonsense -- Patrick White used it, and recently it appeared in the tedious "Secret River" by Kate Grenville.

[Saltation]

yeah, i see what you mean re movies and "astonishing" -- hadn't really thought of that.

hmmm...
maybe "eraserhead"? or "betty blue" if you first saw it young.
actually, "astonishing"'s not the right word even then, is it?

but then, hang on... don't know that i can name any BOOKS that were astonishing.
except, maybe, the short story "I have no mouth and I must scream". a short sharp piquant classic.
come to think of it: written by a man who later went on to work in hollywood.
hmmmmmmm... ast...range coincidence, in context.

[Professor Rosseforp]

I forgot to mention that all sagas are sweeping.