Music quizzes are becoming increasingly popular. Why? They are shit. Trivia-night music is shit. Spicks & Specks is shit. Rock Quiz is shit. This quiz in last Saturday's Australian is shit. That thing on Channel Seven was worse than shit; it's hard to think about that corpse and not reflexively hold your nose. Rock quizzes? Schlock quizzes, more like.
Not exactly sure what I don't like about them. Perhaps it's the notion you are labelled some kind of cretin if you don't know Neneh Cherry's stepfather or the Perth band that spawned The Blackeyed Susans or who fronts The Doors of the 21st Century. Perhaps it's something to do with the sickening nostalgia that expects us to get on board rubbish like The Countdown Revival. Perhaps it's merely something as simple as me not liking fads and trendoids. Certainly it's something to do with them featuring bands or artists I care little to fuck all about, whether the artists be cool, kitch or outright horrendous.
In The Strayan's quiz I got 20-30 which meant it was "Time to move beyond your big brother's collection." Apart from anything else I am my big brother, so my collection's my own and it runs to thousands of records and hundreds of CDs. My younger brother's collection is just as extensive, and between us we have fuck all records from artists regularly mentioned on the TV quiz shows or in the print versions. We're just not interested. The likes of the Black Eyed Susans, the Jackson Code, Billy Bragg, Yes, Pulp, UB40, INXS, Billy Idol's previous band, Prince, The Arctic Monkeys, Powderfinger, Blink 182, Lisa Miller, Youssou N'dour, the Cult or Wait Long by the River and the Bodies of Your Enemies Will Float By, which I assume is about Jeff Buckley, are just so much mediocre noise.
Despite a flurry a couple of years ago where I tried in vain to reinvigorate my interest in rock music, me and the genre went our separate ways about 10 years ago. Now I just resent the implication I'm a goose because I'm not interested in either a) what has been released since and is patently nonsense or b) what was released before and was probably nonsense only I was too stupid or too sucked in to work it out.
So you think you know your Skyhooks from your Sleepy Jackson? Brian Nankervis, the creator of SBS's Rockwiz, spins some teasers to test your musical knowledge.
1. Which flamboyant English band was heckled at the 1974 Sunbury Rock Festival with cries of "Pommy, go home!"?
2. True or false: Peter Garrett became so disillusioned with politics he negotiated a deal to record acoustic versions of Midnight Oil hits on Liberation Blue.
3. Sons of their fathers:
a) Who is happy to be known as The Gay Messiah?
b) Who said that saltwater wells in his eyes?
4. Keith Moon apparently gave him drumming lessons, he's played with Oasis and now plays with The Who. Who is he?
5. Who was Neneh Cherry's stepfather?
6. In 1994, Neneh had a British top-10 hit with Seven Seconds. Who joined her in that duet?
7. Who said, "You can call me a fat, balding, talentless old queen who can't sing, but you can't tell lies about me"?
8. James Brown is recognised by a plethora of mostly self-bestowed titles. Name two.
9. What was particularly distinctive about one of Warren Zevon's characters, Roland the Thompson gunner?
10. Who originally said that he didn't know much about history, biology, French, geometry or trigonometry?
11. Which movie featured Harrison Ford, dancing and singing to that song in a dusty barn?
12. Which band released the singles Die Yuppie Die, Safe Sex and Nude School?
13. Who is leaving tonight on a plane?
14. Where are the red tail-lights heading?
15. Psychotic Reaction was a one-hit wonder in the late'60s for which group?
1
6. Complete the lyric and namethe song and artist (bonus points for singing):
a) "We skipped the light fandango, turned cartwheels'cross the floor ... "
b) "Cheer up sleepy Jean ... "
c) "We can lock away the bad memories forever ... "
17. According to Keith Richards, when The Rolling Stones first visited Chess Studios in Chicago, who was painting the ceiling?
18. Who were the brothers in Sunnyboys?
19. Who had Dem ol' Kozmic Blues Again?
20. Who was Randy Newman describing when he said, "Their voices go peep and their cars go beep."
21. Who was the metal guru who rode a white swan?
22. Who said, "I've got two strong arms, I can help"?
23. Which Perth band spawned The Blackeyed Susans, The Jackson Code and The Dirty Three?
24. Which INXS album featured their original version of Don't Change?
25. Who spent three weeks with Magoo and Jabba making Mish Mash! in a bubble?
26. In Sexuality, Billy Bragg suggested that safe sex didn't mean no sex, it meant that you should use what?
27. Who is the lead singer of Pulp?
28. Who gave us these wacky titles:
a) Tales from Topographic Oceans
b) Enema of the State
c) Wait Long by the River and the Bodies of Your Enemies Will Float By
d) It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
e) We're Only In It For The Money
f) My Pain and Sadness is More Sad and Painful than Yours
29. What colour was UB4O's wine?
30. What colour was Prince's little Corvette?
31. The Seeker's Rubber Ball?
32. Tom Waits' valentines?
33. Who was the songwriter in Jo Jo Zep responsible for Beating Around The Bush and Dancing Shoes?
34. Name any member of The Rutles.
35. Name the two left-handers in The Beatles.
36. Rock'n'roll has told some great stories in the simple three-minute pop song. What were the following songs about:
a) Ohio - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
b) Whole Lotta Rosie - AC/DC
c) Berserk Warriors - Mental as Anything
d) Marie Provost - Nick Lowe
e) Hurricane - Bob Dylan
37. In Dylan's rambling song, Highlands, he mentions Neil Young. Who else sang about Young?
38. Who is the driving force behind The Sleepy Jackson?
39. Also from Perth, name the Australian DJ who was a founding member of legendary Western swing band, Asleep at the Wheel.
40. Before he went solo, which band did Billy Idol front?
41. Who was the lead singer of The Dingoes?
42. What was his previous band?
43. Name the Australian hits suggested by these cryptic clues:
a) An impassioned appeal to an umpire, usually echoed by teammates.
b) Monty Python made a film on it, Dan Brown made millions from it, but it was Mark Seymour and The Hunnas who took it on to the footy field.
c) The vast majority of my acquaintances believe I'm an utter nutter.
44. What is the traditional, if somewhat cliched, songwriting rhyme for the word June?
45. What was the title of the Prince movie after Purple Rain?
46. What was Pink Floyd's biggest-selling album?
47. What was Ross Wilson's first solo album?
48. What was Led Zeppelin's record label?
49. The Kinks' record label?
50. The Specials?
51. Name the Canadian singer who hosts an annual fundraising concert called The Bridge School Concert?
52. Who was the support act for Neil Young on his 2003 Australian tour?
53. Who fronts The Doors of the 21st Century?
54. What was his original British band?
55. Complete this album title: Whatever People Say I Am ...
56. Who recorded it?
57. Where are they from?
WHO CAN IT BE NOW?
I've been a Thug, a Dum Dum, and a Cruel Beast. One of my many bands supported The Rolling Stones and won ARIAs by making some of the best swampy rhythm and roots in Australia. I started off doing Cramps covers in the early'80s, I began working with Don Walker and Charlie Owen in the'90s and, once upon a time, I also fronted a pretty tacky cover band. I've recorded with Charlie Owen and Joel Silbersher as The Dark Horses, and you'd Better Get a Lawyer if you haven't guessed who I am. My real name is Greg, but you probably know me as ...
WHO CAN IT BE NOW?
I started writing songs when I was 14 and began performing folk songs with my friend Tracey in matching paisley dresses. My first band was a rockabilly outfit, The Hepeleptics. I also played in The Whole Shebang and The Crummy Cowboys before I went to the United States to discover my musical roots. When I returned, I started performing my sad country ballads as a soloist. In 1995, I released my debut EP and before long my songs were on soundtracks for SeaChange, Stingers and Mullet. In 1999, my second album, As Far as a Life Goes, was nominated for an ARIA for Best Female Artist. My album of covers, Car Tape, earned three nominations for the 2002 ARIAs, and in 2004 I was again nominated for my Version Originale album. I supported Neil Young on an Australian tour and hopefully you have guessed by now that my first name is Lisa. I am ...
TOO HARD BASKET
1. In the Travelling Wilburys, who was Otis Wilbury?
2. What was Powderfinger's debut album called?
3. Which Skyhooks song did Iron Maiden record?
4. Which band beat Metallica and AC/DC to win the first Grammy for Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance?
5. Torben, the father of Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich, played Davis Cup tennis for which country?
The Blues Master
John Lee Hooker
1. In 1948 Hooker recorded his first single, Sally Mae, however it was the flipside that became a classic. What was this song?
2. Complete the song's lyric: "I was layin' down one night, I heard ma and pa talkin', I heard pa tell ma ... "
3. What was the record company that released over a hundred John Lee Hooker records in the'50s and'60s?
4. In 1992 Levi Jeans used a Hooker tune for a commercial. The song then became a top 20 hit in Britain. What was the song?
Tunes From Your Tube
Television: the soundtrack of my life
1. In The Ballad of Jed Clampett, the theme from The Beverly Hillbillies, what was the "bubblin' crude"?
2. According to The Brady Bunch theme, what colour hair did all the girls have and what was the specific information given regarding the youngest one's hairdo?
3. In the theme to The Addams Family, what should you wear, and what kind of transport is required, to pay them a visit?
4. According to the theme song for the famous Mr Ed, where should you go to get answers?
Answers
Who can it be now
Tex Perkins; (opposite) Lisa Miller
1. Queen
2. False
3. a) Rufus Wainwright b) Julian Lennon
4. Zac Starkey
5. Jazz musician Don Cherry
6. Youssou N'dour
7. Elton John
8. The Godfather of Soul, Mr Please Please Please, The Hardest Working Man in Show Business, Soul Brother Number One, Mr Dynamite, The Original Disco Man
9. He was headless
10. Sam Cooke
11. Witness
12. Painters & Dockers
13. Daniel
14. Spain
15. The Count Five
16. a) " ... I was feeling kind of seasick, the crowd called out for more" - Whiter Shade of Pale, Procol Harum
b) " ... Oh, what can it mean to a daydream believer and a homecoming queen" Daydream Believer, The Monkees
c) " ... Close the door to the past forever, watching you touch, we're past this much, well I'm alone with you" - Alone with You, Sunnyboys
17. Muddy Waters
18. Jeremy and Peter Oxley
19. Janis Joplin
20. Short people
21. Marc Bolan
22. Billy Swann
23. The Triffids
24. Shabooh Shoobah
25. Regurgitator
26. Your imagination
27. Jarvis Cocker
28. a) Yes
b) Blink-182
c) The Drones
d) Public Enemy
e) Frank Zappa
f) McLusky
29. Red, Red
30. Red
31. Red
32. Blue
33. Wayne Burt
34. Ron Nasty, Dirk McQuickly, Stig O'Hara and Barry Wom
35. Ringo and Paul
36. a) Four students gunned down by the National Guard during an anti-Vietnam War protest at Kent State University, Ohio in 1970.
b) A large woman named Rosie who gave Bon Scott an exhilarating sexual experience in Tasmania.
c) The story of ABBA
d) A silent movie star who died in her apartment and was eaten by her dachshund.
e) The presumed innocence of the prize fighter and convicted murderer, Rubin Carter.
37. Lynyrd Skynyrd in Sweet Home Alabama. ("Well, I heard Mister Young sing about her. Well, I heard old Neil put her down.")
38. Luke Steele
39. Lucky Oceans
40. Generation X
41. Broderick Smith
42. Carson
43. a) Howzat
b) Holy Grail
c) Most People I Know Think That I'm Crazy
44. Moon
45. Under the Cherry Moon
46. Dark Side of the Moon
47. Dark Side of the Man
48. Swansong
49. Konk
50. 2Tone
51. Neil Young
52. Lisa Miller
53. Ian Astbury
54. The Cult
55. ... That's What I'm Not
56. The Arctic Monkeys
57. Sheffield
The Blues Master
john lee hooker
1. Boogie Chillun
2. Let that boy boogie-woogie
3. Vee-Jay
4. Boom Boom
Tunes from your tube
Television soundtracks
1. Oil. "Oil that is ... black gold ... Texas tea."
2. "All of them had hair of gold, like their mother, the youngest one in curls."
3. "So get a witch's shawl on, a broomstick you can crawl on, we're gonna pay a call on, the Addams Family"
4. "Go right to the source and ask the horse, he'll give you the answer that you'll endorse, he's always on a steady course, talk to Mr Ed!"
TOO HARD BASKET
1. Jeff Lynne
2. Parables for Wooden Ears
3. Women in Uniform
4. Jethro Tull
5. Denmark
HOW DID YOU SCORE?
0-20 Shame Shame Shame. Get thee to a music store!
20-30 Time to move beyond your big brother's collection.
30-40 You're on a roll, but there's still work to be done.
40-50 Your iPod is crammed and it's all good stuff.
50-60 You're ready to say, "I liked their earlier albums better."
60-70 YOu totally rock! But You should get out more.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 October 2006 at 14:44
That was a fiiiine rant...though I do think Brian Nankervis is pretty fabulous.
Posted by: david tiley | 26 October 2006 at 16:13
Agree with you re rock music (and giving up on it ten years ago - I prefer silence - which may serve to indicate a past life as a high school english teacher, being a parent and almost 38 year olds old - but bite your tongue! Spicks and Specks is not 'shit', it's just a laugh, that's all.... Hell, at least it's on the only night that TV is worth watching.....
Posted by: MillyMoo | 26 October 2006 at 18:58
I'm sat here listening to Deep Purple, tonight I'm going to see local new metal band Cotheria, next week I'm going out with my staff to see Gogol Bordello + Bedouin Soundclash.
I hope I don't grow out of rock 'n roll.
Posted by: Yorkshire Soul | 26 October 2006 at 19:07
Furthermore, I would argue with your implication that Blink-182 are good enough to be regarded as mediocre.
Posted by: Yorkshire Soul | 26 October 2006 at 19:09
David: All I know is that Brian has a pretty dicky part to play on Rock Quiz and said poems on Hey Hey. (I think.)
Milly: Don't you get sick of hearing about how wonderful Adam Whatsisface is? Surely, if he's the newest thing in hot TV property, it's more an indication of how little depth we have. But at least it's better than Rock Quiz which is really just a televised pie night with a cover band.
YS: I know you ease Cotheria with an ointment; that's what the singing detective had. Gogol Bordello and Bedouin Soundclash both sound painful. Do you cure them with a balm or pills? Or shots. And yes, Blink 182 are truly, really, very awful.
Deep Purple, I like. Well, the long drawn out version of Space Truckin' on Made In Japan, anyway.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 October 2006 at 19:34
Yeah, what david tiley said up there. I thought Georgie Parker on the zoot ads pissed me off, and I thought I'd delivered a few pretty good one-liners about just how much she pissed me off, but wow. You win, TonyT.
Posted by: ThirdCat | 26 October 2006 at 20:39
That's another thing. I resent how often I hear someone say how good Zoot were. Rubbish. They had one respectable cover version of Eleanor Rigby, and that's it.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 October 2006 at 21:05
Dunno, Tone - "Wait Long..." has it's moments, in a very derivative way. Or Moment, anyway - Sharkfin Blues is good.
I have the annoying (to others, and it's starting to get my goat as well) habit of immediately searching for reference points when I hear anything new - but unfortunately, of late, I always find them. Tends me in the direction of your jaundiced view.
Posted by: tONY | 26 October 2006 at 22:11
That's a good point, tONE. It takes the gloss of listening to music if when everytime you hear something "new" you start comparing it to earlier artists.
It's fun to sound all clever clogs, but the thrill soon wears off.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 October 2006 at 22:25
Whilst not being to everyones tastes and suffering from the obvious references to either A) anatomy or B) "yeah you have to be one to listen to that shit", I found a band called Tool in the last couple of years. Not quite commercial, not quite wierdo-out there, not quite heavy, not quite anything really. But good all the same. I think I first heard them when Triple J was not so lefty and pop sounding (which is a while looking back at it now)
Apart from that there's been nothing in the 21st Century that has got me interested for longer than 5 minutes. (Insert poor Tool reference here)
Posted by: Adsy | 26 October 2006 at 23:44
Yeah, that's about where it's at. You think to yourself "Hmmm, that's goes alright" then next time you hear it you wonder "what the hell was I thinking?"
Posted by: Tony.T | 27 October 2006 at 11:39
Thats pretty much my life as a St. Kilda supporter in a nutshell!
Posted by: Adsy | 27 October 2006 at 13:33
You're telling me.
Posted by: Demon | 27 October 2006 at 14:42
The Cult are rock gods. This post is shit.
Posted by: Yobbo | 27 October 2006 at 15:17
Bull shit.
Posted by: Tony.T | 27 October 2006 at 15:29
1st Grammy for Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance - Jethro Tull? And beat AC/DC and Metallica to boot. That flute is one mean axe, man!
I got 20-30 as well, "Time to move beyond your big brother's collection."
Posted by: RT | 27 October 2006 at 15:31
The Grammy people: thick as a brick.
There's something to be said about big brothers, and it's all good.
Posted by: Tony.T | 27 October 2006 at 17:27
Hey, I thought The Cult were great at the time, but seriously, have another listen. They are utter shit. Rock Gods? They have as much Rock Godness about them as The Darkness, which is fuck all.
Posted by: Tomla | 27 October 2006 at 20:49
"Hey, I thought The Cult were great at the time, but seriously, have another listen. They are utter shit. Rock Gods? They have as much Rock Godness about them as The Darkness, which is fuck all."
Funny, I was thinkin the very same thing.
Posted by: Patrick | 31 October 2006 at 23:25
They're not rock anything.
Posted by: Tony.T | 01 November 2006 at 12:20
Tone, you tried Pandora.com yet?
Posted by: tONY | 06 January 2007 at 10:55