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Do you suppose any CricAussie board members have shares in Lion Nathan?

I can only agree that the ICC is probably the most appallingly-run sports organisation in the world.

To baldly hang Darrel Hair out to dry was shameful. FIFA would absolutely kill for a referee who called what he saw so honestly and without fear of repercussions from international powerhouses. But what do the ICC do? Basically condemn him to being a pariah in the umpiring world.


A beach cricket series sounds pretty XXXXed. Can't see a tour of England looming, West Indies perhaps.

The concept probably has more substance than 20/20 however.

Peter: They're a bunch of craven white-washers.

RT: At least no one is pretending BC has more credibility that it warrants, unlike 20/20. Wonder if Craig McDermott would be up for a game of beach cricket in the Windies.

At least Border had the guts to tell it like it is - not! Chickenshit liar.

Beach cricket in England would involve the dodging of incoming turds so anyone not too nimble, or suffering from immune system issues, might want to give it a miss.

I wouldn't worry about Hair. Looks like he got $10,000 and told to go on holiday for the duration of the ICC crappathon. Beats standing around in 45 degree heat watching sub-standard fare.

Regarding Craig McDermott, surely porn films with Ginger-haired Ron Jeremy wannabes are outlawed in Australia as they are in every other civilized country?

A decade of disgraceful selecting in what should be the easiest job in world cricket, now suddenly Hohns is gone and AB's drinking beer... let the good times roll. Surely Clarke and Jaques'll get a look in, and suddenly Australia's future looks a lot less grim.

Would beach cricket be anything like beach volleyball? I get this very disturbing image of Merv Hughes in a G-string, celebrating a fallen wicket with Allan Border. Personally, I support sacking anyone who advertises XXXX. Should be a capital offense.

Woody: Bit harsh. AB is hardly gonna come out and bag CricAussie; he's been around too long to fall for that. I will say, though, that on Inside Cricket (AB is co-host with Bernard Brendon Julian) on Monday night he fielded all questions asked as if he were still the selector, so it's possible Tuesday's resignation or sacking or dumping or bundling came as a surprise. You know something else? Craig McDermott took 290-odd test wickets. Yes, I'm shaking my head, too. Now he owns more houses than that but is currently in the midst of a scandal involving "a series of explicit videos" so you mightn't be far off the mark with the crack about Ron Jeremy.

Harry: Is Clarke a sure fire bet? Seems to me he's got a bit of the Mark Waughs. Beautiful 40s followed by a stupid/lazy shot and a trudge back to the pavvy. I haven't seen a lot of Hungry Jaques.

Clem: Do those fuckwits on the beach advertise XXXX? (Or is it Tooheys?) You know, Macca and Jacko and Boffo and Jimbo and the rest of the fishermen with the enormous fridge. I'd support any political party that promised to feed those turds to patagonian tooth fishes.

Clarke may not be a sure bet, but I'm sure he's a better option than wheeling out Marto to block his way to 27 from 370 balls every innings for another three years. And how you could hold out on Jaques in favour of Hayden, who had two stellar years on top of the world and another twelve at sub-test standard. They just aren't thinking about things, it's croneyism gone mad.

Those fucking turds on the beach advertise XXXX Gold.


The dog in the ad is about the brightest actor in there.

I take your point about Marto. It seems to me the reason he was brought back is that the selectors didn't want too many youngsters in the middle order. In an ideal world he would have been pensioned off at least a year ago in favour of a talented up-and-comer. I bet the selectors are shitty Clarke hasn't yet become that solid middle-order youngster. It's thrown their succession timetable out of whack.

"The boys are back!" Bastards! I hate it when supposedly popular fatheads are turned into "celebs". It's that Bundy bear who's to blame.

Martyn might just about be the smoothest, most fluent batsman I have seen tour England. His only problem, which is quite major for a cricketer, I'll grant, is his Goweresque tendency to waft airily outside off-stump even when well set. Clarke looks like a slightly less attractive version.

Neither of them pose much of a problem for our quickies; you'd be better to drop Hussey down the order and stick in Jacques.

Hang on, I remember Clarke and Martyn winning us a test in 2005....and Hussey's down the order anyway? If Langer gets hit on the head again - Jaques is in.

Two tons on the trot for Jaques. No doubt he's the real deal, for mine.

The Gnome better get a score pretty quick. Hungry Jaques is a bee's dick away from being picked.

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