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There are many reasons I look forward to reading your blog Tony but the image of a doctor sticking mercury up your date is not one of them.

A very big BOO from me too.

Mercury is one of them full-sized planets...Pluto in the date would have been better. When you go the date, go dwarf as a rule of thumb

I mean doodle. What was I thinking? Clearly mercury is a cure for the front end.

BOO! to the lot of you.

Get a job where you actually have to do something. Then your blood pressure wil go up just like the rest of us.

Hope that helps. Just give a yell if you need more advice.

Teaching may be therapeutic then. Young people make my blood pressure rise.

PS: I have a splinter in my arse. Should I stand up?

Don't eat more salt, Tony. It makes you want beer.

You wanna know something, Bunny? The longer you are off the piss, the worse the stuff stinks. Red wine is the worst; it smells revolting.

"Red wine is the worst; it smells revolting."

.. let's not talk cigarette smoke smell eh?

Having been the filter tip wagon for 18 months and we can suss out the smoke from a 1 mg Horizon at 100,000 paces.

Not that I'm being a Damascus Road converted zealot. True! I keep telling my few remaining "this side of the ashes to ashes ceremony" huff'n'puff friends, "Go for it! Be it on your own epitaph youse losers." (But I DO how much I enjoyed lighting up.)

But as Maggie, the pin up totty of the conservatives once almost said, "The lad's not for turning."

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