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To avoid further bad PR for the Church, the matter should be sent straight to God, as I am sure he would "understand that the people who got those letters would rightly and justifiably be upset". Perhaps a few of them could be allowed to ring him at 11 oclock and get him out of bed, as long a that fact made it into the papers and made him look concerned. Anyway he could then order an internal review into the procedures in this particular department. Of course he would then be unable to comment futher until the review was completed, after which time the whole thing might hopefully have blown over. And no, the report will not be made publicly available as it would be commercially sensitive, but he might banish the scape goats to Nauru, combining the press conference with a $400K tax payer funded party, with clowns and stuff.

Any letter to the editor that begins with the words "As a..." is, without a doubt, written by said Perpetually Outraged.

Or "How dare ..."

Anglicare is getting crucified.

Menawhile there's still the little matter of an outstanding bill for the Last Supper. It seems the host shot through.

Won't Dan Brown pick up the tab?

He's got bigger loaves and fish to fry.

If God exists, Dan's in a lot of strife.

Dan's certainly got a lot of bread.

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