GRASSED!

Was out at dinner* last night when one of the diners leant over to his girlfriend all shifty-like and sotto voce revealed "Paul texted me on Sunday - Got any green?" Well, bong on, maaaan. The thing is, he wasn't being conspiratorial at all, the preposterous hipster, he said it loud enough so the rest of us squares would be aware he was the coolest scenester at the table. A ludicrous self-delusion. Smoking drugs is about as cool as wearing your cap backwards, or listening to MMM, and it has always astounded me that people who "choof" think they are into something hip and a little bit naughty. Do YOU know anyone who "mulls up" who is not utterly tedious, a pretentious fuckwit, or both? No, you don't. So I looked at him and sneered "Got any greeeeeeen? What sort of talk is that, you old mook?" In high dudgeon he had the bare faced audacity to reply "Nothing wrong with chilling out." Talk about piling sin upon sin. I had to bail before I tipped the water jug on his foolish noggin.

Boynton summed it up best when she once sighed "It's pathetic, just soooo suburban."

Comments

[Tony.T]

* Not tea, you dogs!

[gav]

I predict I may get myself baked here, but yes I wholeheartedly agree Tony. I find friends who prefer to indulge in a nice few bottles of red before dinner, or polish off a litre and a half of Wild Turkey much more tolerable, and indeed, quite pleasant company. I mean, when someone is unconcious in my garden they are far less likely to bother me and there is something really cool about that. I just make sure I aim their leaking mouth towards a plant in need of nourishment and bob's your domestically violent uncle.

[gav]

Apologies for double post, but I wish to add that people who take great pleasure is broadcasting to the world their advanced knowledge of wine/cognac/port/cheese/caviar/truffle/fine art/holiday villas in buller dahhhling/etc far more pretentious and in need of watering.

[Tony.T]

Booze is infinitely better than "green" because it makes one sociable. Dope just turns you into a boring vegetable. But, as you say, Gav, pretention isn't limited to dope smoking bogans. It's everywhere. Living in Richmond, moi knows.

[Simon]

Could have been worse - he could have used the word "spliff".

[Tony.T]

Don't think I've ever heard him say spliff, or scoob. But he does think Buffy is about the best ever written TV show. (Keep in mind that he is 44.) So taste-wise, I'm not saying he wouldn't stoop to stoner slang if it suited him.

[boynton]

Wasn't it more: As suburban as Bundy and Coke?
ie; any associated slang or furtiveness seems archaic for a kind of Archies recreational substance.

(speaking squarely of and from the suburbs)

[Tony.T]

The Archies? I didn't know Powell and/or Pressberger were dopers.

[Francis Xavier Holden]

So Tones.
I gather Dave's not there?

[Tony.T]

Dave?

[Francis Xavier Holden]

nope Daves not here man

[saint]

"you old mook"?

Must be my age.

I had to ask Phoebe.

[Russell Allen]

I like Lipton's more than any other brand. But that's just tea...it's a pommie thing.

Who they hell calls it Green anyway, hepcats?

I hate downers (Alexander included). I've always been Xanax, Zoloft, Prozac, BuSpar and even Vicodin man myself. The Choice of a New Generation and The Real Thing together in tablet form.

[Nabakov]

"The Archies? I didn't know Powell and/or Pressberger were dopers."

Rilly? Clearly you haven't seen the "Life and Death of Colonel Bong", "The Red Eyes", 'Puffing Tom", "The Smokey Back Room", "A Canterbury Carrot", "Nepalese Black Narcissus" and "The Tales of Coughman". And you probably missed "The Elusive Pipernal" as well.

[Big Ramifications]

So you sarcastically mimicked what this fella said, and then did the Harold Holt because you were becoming testy?

Crikey!

Someone needs to smoke a spliff and do some chilling out.

"It relaxes you, makes you forget all the bad things that happen to a Negro. It makes you feel wanted, and when you're with another tea smoker it makes you feel a special kinship."
-Louis Armstrong

(Not that that quote has anything much to do with your views or your dinner conversation. I just chucked it in there coz I like it.)

[carneagles]

Now I'm totally confused. I thought The Archies only did 'Sugar Sugar'.

[Non City Folk]

You Qouted from someone as saying 'its sooooooo suburban'How pretentious !!
Look in your own suburb and you will see smaked out morons falling asleep on park benches and used syringes in gutters ! Now that deserves a jug of water over their foolish noggins.

[Tony.T]

Don't forget I Don't Know Where I'm Going, it's a stoner classic.

The Archies did a lot of sugar, sugar. (Ooo, a doooble entender!)

It's true NC Folk (Are you a rapper?), there are syringes in the gutter, but us local types prefer to think of them as street art. We're a glass half full kind of community, you understand. And the bums asleep on park benches? They are prophets.

[pat]

Sigh, whatever happened to the good olf fashioned opium den? Time was when even Holmes could be found in one, incognito of course.

[TimT]

Taking drugs is not cool, hippy. Get high on LIFE. Read a book, you mook!

[carneagles]

Is it Mook as in book, or Mook as in spook?

[Tony.T]

Mook as in kook. Or maybe moke. They wear caps backwards, have tufts of hair under their bottom lips, and say "Yo, dude" a lot.

[Burty]

You been drinking Bong Water Tony?

[Tony.T]

Only when I run out of Cougar Bundy & Cokes.

[Tony.T]

Nor did I bolt, Biggy Big, I Baden Harpered.

[Big Ramifications]

Don't you mean you made like a shepherd and got the Calista Flockhart outa there?

That's all I got sorry.

[Tony.T]

Nope. I made like the babies and headed out.

[Steve]

There is something worse than a pot smoker, and that's a pot smoker who can't handle it, such as my flatmate, who will inevitably take two puffs on a spliff, wait, turn an interestingly vivid shad of bright green a few minutes later, bumble off to bed, and throw up all night long.

The fascinating part about this is that he never seems to learn.

[Scott]

Say on, Steve. I think the REALLY fascinating part is that you continue to share a flat with this comedian.

Drugs are for kids. I grew out of them when I was about 25.

[A Summer Bin Liner]

Yeah. and drinking is pretty fuckin cool too, eh?

Ask any victim of a drunk driver...

You say the pothead mentioned this text message to his root "sotto voce". Then you change the tack and claim he was showing off.
Now pick one or the other, mate. What was it?
Maybe you heard it because you were bored with the grog-fuelled company and was eavesdropping (not unreasonable seeing drinkers tend to be pretty devious when they're not overly self absorbed) you HAD to amplify it like a good little middleclass tosser.

Potheads irritate me but not half as much as self-satisfied, arrogant drinking-types. They're pathetic.

[Tony.T]

Settle down, A Summer Bin Nit Picker, I didn't change tack at all. Are you telling me you've never seen/heard anyone pretend to whisper? If that's the case, I don't believe you.

And did you manage to cop a look at the title of this blog, Liner? Let me give you a hint: After Grog Blog has nothing at all to do with a sloppy dump. Get my drift? That's right, I don't drink. Self-satisfied, arrogant drinking-types could very well be as pathetic as you say - but I'm not one. Well, not the drinking part, anyway.

[Jim aka Pretentious Hipster Doofus]

Well slap my pretentious, ageing, pathetic, hipster doofus ass...

And piss off while you are at it.

#1 I was repeating what someone texted to me... ie the word "green"... not what I actually said.

#2 Yes I did use the words "chill out".. maybe you should do that a bit more rather than get on someone's case about it.

#3 I happen to have "chooffed on some green and chilled out" with you numerous times Tony back in the "good old days" of 15 years ago... just because you no longer like it doesn't mean others cannot my friend.

Next you will be attacking me for "knocking back a few reds" as you yourself no longer indulge in the demon alcohol (just the demon football team - just as harmful to your health but nowhere near as enjoyable).

#4 Smoking about 6 joints a month hardly qualifies me as a pothead.

#5 If I am indeed a "utterly tedious, a pretentious fuckwit, or both.." why have we been friends for 28 years..?? Or am I just being used as an excuse for a diatribe on your blog when there are no more interesting things to be said...?!?!

#7 Buffy WAS indeed a well-written and enjoyable show that did not take itself too seriously... unlike some people on the internet..??
#6 Suburban and pathetic, Boynton?? I see.

- Jim aka Pretentious Hipster Doofus

[Tony.T]

Blows raspberry!

[Jim aka Pretentious Hipster Doofus]

Now THAT is the most intelligent response yet...

LOL

[Tony.T]

Thanks, maaaan.

[boynton]

removes plum from mouth and blows pathetic suburban raspberry...

[rachy]

What a tool. I would reckon that people actually involved in the scene wouldn't make such a big fuss about it.

I remember witnessing something similar a few years ago and the most amusing part is the person I was drinking with lived with a big-time dope dealer. The small-time monkey across from us went on about knowing people who could get "stuff." My friend and I thought this was hilarious. Nevertheless, my friend soon moved out of their house because they didn't actually think that living with a big-time drug dealer was something that was very cool

[A Summer Bin Liner]

my epo-logies tony T

someone had led me to believe that a grog blog was a group of bloggers who get together in a pub to drink and chat. a social sorta thang.
when i saw the title me thought hmmm blog about grog and bloggers and stuff.

and Hi to another non/ex drinker

somehow sobriety doesn't increase my accuracy...