Where are we at with margarine? Is it still good for you, or does it now cause ghastly tumours? With diet fads it's generally a bit of both. A dab here and there is fine, but scoffing, say, two kilos a day may just present the odd problem.
It's hard keeping up with what's in and what's out. Who knows? Maybe it's just a matter of days before it's revealed broccoli causes baldness. But I try to ignore these commotions and eat what I've always eaten. Well, not ignore precisely. More like I missed the warnings. "What? You're still eating asbestos wafers?" Butter, is a case in point. Apparently it's bad for you, but I like it. Balls to margarine! Balls to any of those spreadable butters, too. That's cheating. Butter is rubbish unless you bend your knife cutting it, or rip your bread apart as you spread it. And anyway, only an animal would eat margarine, or poor people. Someone fill me in if there's a difference.
Complimentary food gag:
Man 1: "Shit sandwich, sir?"
Man 2: "No thanks, I don't like bread."
Errr, I just purchased some margarine for $1.50 from Bi-Lo.
However, I have an excuse. I am a poor person until I pay Telstra back a ridiculous amount. When I got back from Brisbane, I forgot to change my internet provider back to its Melbourne number. Thus, everytime I've been logging on I have been calling long distance.
So, I am poor, have bad taste and am an idiot.
Posted by: Major Anya | 14 February 2006 at 15:17
Man (to waiter): I'll have the pissoles, thanks.
Waiter: Sorry sir, that's a misspelling on the menu. That should have been spelt with an "R".
Man: Okay then, I'll have the r-soles, thanks.
Posted by: carneagles | 14 February 2006 at 15:30
Is eating asbestos harmful? As long as you don't breathe in while you chew, you should be okay, right?
Posted by: carneagles | 14 February 2006 at 15:32
Butter is better, but margarine has its uses. It's cheap and doesn't brown quickly, so it can be used in cooking. But margarine on bread? *Gags*
As for the shit sandwich question, well, doesn't that really turn on whether a shit sandwich is sweet (like jam or honey sandwiches) or savoury (like ham or cheese sandwiches)? Butter is excellent in a sweet sandwich, but terrible in a savoury. I have never been able to understand why people butter their bread, and then proceed to put sauce and sausage/steak/hot dog on top of that.
Sauce + butter? It's only marginally better than shit + margarine.
Posted by: TimT | 14 February 2006 at 17:20
Margarine. Fabio endorses it.
Butter. Brando just uses it.
'bout sums it I reckon.
Posted by: Nabakov | 14 February 2006 at 17:53
The only thing I can still actually recall at will from my childhood:
Betty Brewster bought some butter to make some batter but the batter was too bitter so Betty Brewster bought a bit of better butter to make the bitter batter better.
Say it ten times fast. With a mouthful of butter. If you dare.
Posted by: Wicking | 14 February 2006 at 18:52
Spreadable butter is cheating?
Bollocks it is. It's just a means of getting more layers of the stuff on.
Posted by: peemil | 14 February 2006 at 21:50
yeah well how about an old aphorism.
Life is like shit sandwich: The more bread you have the less shit you have to eat.
Posted by: Francis Xavier Holden | 14 February 2006 at 23:20
Wimps. What ever happened to egg & steak for breakfast, and putting a thick slab of lard on your bread before you put the deep-fried bacon on top?
Posted by: Clem Snide | 14 February 2006 at 23:42
In further polyunsaturated news - my grandmother's name was Marge.
Posted by: Tony.T | 15 February 2006 at 12:54
See, I was right:
Posted by: Tony.T | 15 February 2006 at 17:32
Has it never occurred to you that Wikipedia may be run by a secret cabal of butter conspirators, dedicated to furthering the cause of butter by spreading propaganda?
Posted by: TimT | 15 February 2006 at 20:34
So now you're calling me French?
Thems fightin words.
Posted by: peemil | 15 February 2006 at 22:18
Not if your French they're not.
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 16 February 2006 at 23:54
The answer is............if u ate 2 kg's of marge a day, you're a 'nob'.....and btw...drinking more than 3 litres of water causes bladder cancer.....
Posted by: sophie | 17 February 2006 at 00:09
Beurre c'est meilleur.
L'eau blow, So.
Posted by: Tony.T | 17 February 2006 at 14:53