We all know how that works out, right. Catch a tigger by the toe. "Tigger?" you inquire sceptically. That's right, tigger with a T. Obviously, I never meant anything different. How dare you suggest otherwise!
Get the drift? Not a million miles away, something similar has been bugging me.
John Blackman, alias Dicky Knee, visits the Aussie dressing room giving Shane Warne a bright idea. Makhaya Ntini has a dicky knee, Dicky Knee is John Blackman, ergo Makhaya Ntini is John Blackman. Funny, no?
Well, no.
Why didn't Warne call him Dicky Knee? Ntini doesn't know either Dicky Knee or John Blackman, but it's obvious which is funnier. Ntini and Dicky even have the shaggy black hair under their caps.
Instead Warne calls him John Blackman -- Black man, geddit? -- and has the front to get the hump at suggestions his comment had racist undertones. If YOU were going to call a black man Blackman, would it not cross YOUR mind he was black? Chances are it would. Chances are, too, you think Warne is a complete cretin. But while he probably ain't no Rhode Scholar, he probably ain't no complete cretin, either.
I'm tipping sly dig or a joke fallen flat. You draw your own conclusions. Or speculate wildly - it's up to you.
Speaking of ... umm ... jokes: here's News Limited's Ben Dorries cracking foxy in the Hun:
Ntini poised for speedy comeback
INJURED South Africa fast bowler Makhaya Ntini could make a shock return to terrorise Australia's batsmen in the current VB Series.
It could have been worse. Shane Warne might have played Ntini a video clip of Daryl Somers singing. And yes, Shane Warne really is that dumb, and probably would boast about being a "Rhode" scholar if he was trying to impress someone with his intellect.
Posted by: Clem Snide | 16 January 2006 at 17:22
It's not a scholarship to Oxford, it's a scholarship to York University and is named after Wilfred Roads. You know, where the ships moor off Hull.
Posted by: Tony.T | 16 January 2006 at 17:55
I've met smarter hammers. Gadzooks, what in jehosophat's name possessed his ex to breed with him? The body of Hercules? The mind of Aristotle?
Posted by: CB | 16 January 2006 at 19:21
Wiki tells me Jehosophat was a king of Israel. I didn't know that. No word on whether he was much of a jumper.
Posted by: Tony.T | 16 January 2006 at 19:59
Not a jumper. Competed in the Galilee Gift over the 200 cubits. Came off a 12 span handicap. Also ran in the early Dead Sea Sprint Championships, up against perennial favourite Great Azazel from Mesopotamia. Won at odds of 6 and one half shekels to one.
Posted by: CB | 16 January 2006 at 22:54
Got his later rep when he entered the triple jump as a veteran. Consistently won idolatrous gold until his retirement.
Posted by: CB | 16 January 2006 at 22:57
Any-one back the theory that
a/South Africa may be over reacting and maybe a touch sensitive about racism given their history... pot calling kettle black ( sorry could not resist)
b/ Is it rascist? Did he call him 'fucking black bastard' or 'nigger' which would then be totally different.
Why I am a whiteman and I am sure there are plenty of blackmen that would describe me as that(among other things) I call the gentleman who drops my letters te Post-Man, the guy who delivers my milk the , yes you have guessed it, the milk man. T o say calling him a black man is rascist is well over the top.
Sth Efrica sort yourselves out and put your toys back in the playpen
Posted by: Vaughny | 17 January 2006 at 04:13
Wouldn't surprise me one bit if he meant it in the perjorative sense.
Oh, and it was really him who said the "can't bowl ..." line too. Cameraman my arse.
Posted by: carneagles | 17 January 2006 at 09:46
Warney - IQ 75, Test Wickets ~658.
Simone Warne - IQ 50, Test Wickets 0.
I know whose side I'm taking!
Off topic - the BCCI seems to have pulled its finger out, and with the lure of lucre, will do more for Test Cricket (by effectively ridding the world of Zimbabwe and Bangladesh in Tests, and the waste of time Champion's Trophy) than the ICC have over the last 20 years.
Posted by: nick | 17 January 2006 at 12:52
ps : Remember when Darryl White, the Aboriginal AFL player, called a QFL umpire (caucasian) a 'white maggot', and then insisted that he was talking about the umpire's clothing. What's good for one goose....
Posted by: nick | 17 January 2006 at 12:53
I don't think saying Dicky Knee would have been funnier...make the audience work for their laugh I say
Posted by: Russell Allen | 17 January 2006 at 13:01
nick, don't stop there:
Simone: D-cup
Shane: B to C-cup, depending on preseason
Posted by: carneagles | 17 January 2006 at 13:40
Simone's never a D-cup......although $10 million buys a lot of implant!
http://www.adore.jp/archives/images/Simone.jpg
Posted by: nick | 17 January 2006 at 16:12
a) He meant it as Black Man. Dicky Knee was the perfect get-out-of-jail-free card. I reckon the jibe AND lame excuse were premeditated. This means Warney is actually a genius.
b) What Vaughny said. FFS. Gotta stop pandering to these overly-sensitive fuckers at some stage. Plus, why not take a "Wogs Out of Work" attitude to the whole thing? Be proud of being black, Makhaya? Enough of the black indeed.
c) What Russell Allen said. Calling someone with a dicky knee "Dicky Knee." Gee, that's sharp.
IN SUMMARY: Not a very funny sledge at all but everyone should pull their bloody heads in.
'Cept for me and Vaughny.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 17 January 2006 at 17:07
Well, I thought it was funny.
Not the sledge, the explanation in front of the headmaster, sorry match referee.
Billy Bunter would have cacked his ample drawers, chortle, chortle.
Posted by: Pedro the Ignorant | 17 January 2006 at 18:53
I thought Darrel White's was funny. I remember when it came up and everyone who mentioned it just went "Yeah right, it's cool, Daz. We know what you really meant." It was a surprise he didn't say "I was taken out of context". Did Warnie say that?
And what's this about Simone and Sammy Hammill? I heard she was on with Gary Lyon. Naturally ... you know ... it's only a ... err ... rumour ... of course.
Posted by: Tony.T | 17 January 2006 at 21:46
Warne a genius, BR? That's putting it a bit strong. Warne is nowhere near as witty as the bloke who gave Darryl White's (and for that matter Barry White's) male ancestors their surname. But I agree that Ntini has overreacted. If he's that sensitive, he should be spending more time in earshot of Darren Lehmann to both desensitise him and to practise his "fat bald retard" retorts. It reminds of that case a few years ago where a black guy sued Microsoft because he typed "monkey" into one of their picture databases and came up with a shot of a black couple sitting on some monkey bars.
Posted by: Clem Snide | 18 January 2006 at 01:17