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And don't gimme none of that "he's is two words" guff, you dogs.

Are we talking about subcontinental suspect actions or Tony's suspect 'actions'?

Well, Nick, apparently I'm in the clear. There's no need to visit a Perth laboratory to verify my 'movements off the pitch'.

That's laboratory, by the way.

I can't believe they tested Michael Clarke's piss and he's clear. Wasn't he out on the tiles with Pietersen during the Ashes - he'd still be over the limit now wouldn't he?!!?

Clarke doesn't even look old enough to drink. But, anyway, aren't you thinking of Shaaaaaane? Or Symmooooo? Now there are a couple of blokes who know the diff between a 'night on the tiles' and a 'responsible early night in'.

While I'm normally sceptical about sending foreign aid to corrupt third world dumps, it would be unconscionable to deprive millions of poor subcontinental children and professional cricketers of these life essentials just because they cannot afford them. Ideally it would incorporate a pressure switch that triggers electric shocks to the genitals when subject to 15 degrees of strain. The key problem would be how to stop the buggers tampering with it, which seems insoluble at this stage.

I had a blog containing that KP was the subject to (as yet unproved) rumours that he was ahem batting for the other side. The romance with Caprice was set up by their agent (they share the same agent) as she had'nt been able to get her waps on the front page of the soaraway sun recently and KP wanted to keep his secret 'in the closet'.
Anyhow to my point..... the boy nicknamed Poof out on the tiles with KP. Could this be the union we have been waiting for between our two great nations? Questions arise such as which one is the sponge and which one is the stone?
Any young sportsman in Britain is normally caught with a page 3,soap star, or general slapper on is arm pretty much as soon as he breaks into the big time( this is before our great british press kick him from the pedestal they have put him on). Has 'Poof' been in the papers with a babe on his arm? I genuinley do not know, I am just digging dirt to be quite honest

Inspired, Clem. Am still chickling to myself now 3 hours after first seeing your blog.

Even worse is when the results contain the word "remediation". Ie. "We tested him and after some remediation his action now counts as legal". Implied in this is the idea that he was actually chucking until we did some work to get him through the test. Expect him to be reported again in a while and we'll go through the process again.

And well done to the Pakis putting the Poms to the sword on day 3.

3 words to counter those five less favoured words of yours Tone:

1. Hayden

2. Kandy

3. LBW

or words to that effect...

I'm confused. Is the 'Benda Menda' for Chuckalot or KP (or 'Pup')?

Chucking has been basically fucked up by the ICC, with the whole remediation, testing, assessment thing a rank cop-out. They've just thrown (Haaaaaa!) their hands in the air, deemed it 'too hard' and said to the respective countries 'you work it out'.

It's hard to imagine a sport that has mismanaged an issue worse than cricket have chucking. The situation will remain as a disgusting cowardly blight on the game until the ICC grow the balls to put the matter back into the hands of the umpires, and tell them to call it as they see it - no fear or favour.

PS: I knew I could count on you Adsy. Good work.

http://www.cricket.mailliw.com/

I have loved the game of cricket for more years than I care to admit.

Major blights on the game have been Cronje the thieving cheating mongrel, and the Bendy Boy and the pathetic efforts of the ICC to deal with him.

Him upstairs took care of Cronje. Bendy is now flavour of the month, rolling in cash, and stout hearted umpires like Emerson and Hair are pariahs.

Cricket was once the example of fair play and gentlemanly behaviour. It has descended into the gutter in the search for the almighty Dollar, aided and abetted by Channel Nein, the ICC, and Cricket Australia.

Simone, I've just had a little rumour lob on my desk. Is it true you're an item with Gary Lyon?

They're all just cowards, Pedro, simple as that.

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