"The thing -one of the things- that makes my life so wretched is that as well as teaching these appalling cretins, I have to teach everyone else's cretins too, because my colleagues are snivelling tossers who pretend to be sick all the time," writes my good fiend Harry.
Snivelling tossers, sure (my colleagues take a sickie at the drop of a rat); snivelling cowards, more like.
Remember Utter Fuckwit? Yes, I'm sure you do. Well, Utter has gone and got himself in a spot of bother. Called up before the head of department, he was. He'd been up to no good. Not sure of the exact details, there may be legal implications which I won't guess at here (feel free to do your own guessing), but he was due an extreme telling-off. It wouldn't be pulling any punches to suggest he was in for IT.
Instead of facing the music, though, you know what the snivelling coward did? He took two bastard weeks off. Scarpered, he did.
Yesterday we All received this email from the boss.
Hi All.
Utter won't be in for two weeks, so if No.2 asks you to cover, please help out, we're a bit tight for numbers at the mo.
Thanx
No.1
Mo? Thanx? Shit and derision! But I digress... do you know the best part? When Utter is teaching, so am I, which means that not only can I sneer at him until his cows* come home, I can also jeer my colleagues who must pick up his load. I remain unaffected.
Cave Laborem. That is MY motto. "Deep holes thy work"
* Utter also owns a farm.
Posted by: Tony.T | 01 September 2005 at 10:19
Udder Bastard, then?
Posted by: carneagles | 01 September 2005 at 11:35
(For "Bastard" read "Fuckwit")
Posted by: carneagles | 01 September 2005 at 11:36
aah - I know the syndrome. "Rural town employment job for life no need for standards or service quality". He'll be "sick " at home on the farm getting more than a few jobs up to date. Don't fret, he'll be back in time for next long weekend, rostered day orf or skool hols or just to fill in the workcare form or bullying complaint to union.
Yours sincerely
Jaded Manager
Posted by: Francis Xavier Holden | 01 September 2005 at 20:14
A remote farm? A nice, secluded, out of sight farm? One that has digging equipment and loads of disked up earth where someone could easily stuff a corpse? One where the nearest neighbors may not press too hard once they feel his absence has been a wee bit long?
Hell, Tony, it seems like Utter's done half your bloody work for you.
Posted by: Dr. E. Scientist, phD. | 02 September 2005 at 01:03
Teaching is a dirty word Tony. A repugnant and highly offensive word to boot.
This thread has been milked too much already.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 02 September 2005 at 03:21
Doc, if I was to give up blogging about teaching, I'd have nothing to write about.
[Hold that retort]
Posted by: Tony.T | 02 September 2005 at 13:06
Have you thought about teaching about blogging instead?
Posted by: Francis Xavier Holden | 02 September 2005 at 18:08
Teaching about Blogging sounds a mighty fine idea. You could be a Professor of Blogging Tony. earn even more dollars teaching the likes of me how to Post interesting and readable subjects, gaining an admiring public etc etc. There's cash in it somewhere.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 03 September 2005 at 02:58
Tony to blog class: "Just blog, you shits!"
Posted by: Tony.T | 03 September 2005 at 23:41
Try working in the NHS like I do. Sickies flow like saline into a vein.
Posted by: Tim | 05 September 2005 at 10:25
They flow so slickly that I made a mistake in my last post. My real name is Foot Eater, not Tim. I'd say 'feel free to delete this post' but that would be gauche.
Posted by: Foot Eater | 05 September 2005 at 10:28