THREE OF THE BUST

Footy speak - what's up with that then? What's with these oafs and their talent for kicking the shit out of the English language?

1. We lost badly today; all-beat with injuries.
2. Our young players have really stepped up; it all-goes well for the future.
3. It wasn't working for us early, so we tried a different tact.

What is your favourite mal-aphorism?

Comments

[DJ]

Stepping up is worse than all of them linked ones.

[Paul]

I think I like tact. It is a neat combination of tactics and tack.

[os]

I cordially detest:

"goes by foot" and "goes by hand" instead of kicking and handpassing;
"gets good meterage" instead of "it's a long kick";
and the use of "compatriot" instead of "team mate".

[Adsy]

"Under the pump".

I would have thought either "in" or "on" the pump would make more sense. Who cares whats under a pump??

"The Fat side of the ground"

Now thats just weight-ist...

[Paul]

Dish! I hate dish!

[hungbunny]

http://www.private-eye.co.uk/content/showitem.cfm/issue.1141/section.balls>Take your pick.

[kath]

Pacifically. As in 'I only want that pacific one'

and 'I except your invitation'

[kath]

Tony Teach, it's a bit off subject...but I received the following email yesterday from my eight year old nephew after I told him I'd be visiting in a couple of weeks:

[ ...
The email WAS here, but I made it not be here any more.
TT
... ]

[boynton]

Gee - your blog is edifying these days, Tony.

back on topic, I think we (the chauffeur and I) voted for number 2 yesterday didn't we?
I still want to know which club big Mal played for.

[Yobbo]

I should of posted this.

[Vaughny]

There are two footie comments that are the best I have ever heard,digressing a little here but still with the footie theme
Alan Hansen' Well Gary, its eleven men against eleven men, and whoever scores the most after 90 minutes wins' No shit sherlock'
Martin Tyler when Seamon had sighned for Manchester City who have a part of their ground called the Bell-End ' And here here 'comes' the debut boy seamon running out of the bell-end' Imagine if he was dribbling a ball that would have have been perfect

[IslamYuslamWeAllSlam4Islam]

Yeah no, obviously hopefully we're looking forward to it.

[norabone]

...what he said...basically

[The Hack]

My two favourite malapropisms aren't foot-related at all, but at least one relates to sport.

Ever heard a cricket batsman who's just scored a ton described as a centurian. What? He was wearing a leather skirt, a breast plate and a dunny-brush helmet, was he?

The other is decimated: ie - New Orleans was decimated by Hurricane Katrina. Unless only one-tenth of the city - no more, no less - was destroyed by the hurricane, you're WRONG!

I'm sorry. It's the sub in me. It turns me into a pedantic old crank sometimes...

[Tony.T]

I don't mind off-subject, Kath, but I baulk at off-colour. I've axed you nephew's poem.

Rein it in a little please.

[Tony.T]

Ironic you mention both centurian and decimate, Hack.

Decimate comes from a punishment in the Roman army where centurions were delegated to execute one in ten mutinous soldiers.

Although, it is centurion, not centurian. But your point is taken.

And I wouldn't get too upset about decimate. Long-term usage has dictated it move from the exact (one tenth) to the general (any large amount of destruction).

[DJ]

I was watching Liverpool vs Chelsea in the Euro champs yesterday and there was an official stat for Shots On Goal. I never noticed that before but I wonder if thats where the saying comes from. Its bloody irritating that one is.

[kath]

Sorry. Bad Kath.

[TimT]

Does this count?

[Tony.T]

Does what count? Graffity? Indubidoubly.

[TimT]

Excrement news.

[The Hack]

Consider my errant fingers re centurion, Tony, but common usage of decimate as a byword for widespread destruction doesn't make it right. Can't stand it.

[Far Car]

I heard Andrew Gaze say "for all intensive purposes" a year or so ago when he was in the com box.

Commentating. On basketball.

[Tony.T]

SEN use that as a regular sound-grab. I reckon if you followed Gaze around with a tape-recorder you'd end up with a couple of books worth of butchered words. Proliferic, he is.

[Dirk Thruster]

A bit late but I can remember living in the bush and listening to Jack Dyer on the steam-powered wireless. At least once a week he would exclaim, "Did you see that?!?"
Umm, no Jack. It is radio, there are no pictures.