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A date has now been selected for Melbourne Grogblogging #2. Saturday 27th August at Papa Gino's on Lygon Street, Carlton. It will be starting at 7pm. Click here to find out more and RSVP in the comments. Hope to see you there.
http://www.chrisfryer.com/blog/archives/2005/07/test_2.php

That's pretty off topic Chris.

Unless Warnie's going to be there. In which case don't bring your wife.

During my circus days, I watched the humans play cricket on their day off. Funny game. All I can remember is people either hitting the ball or getting hit in the balls. Wouldn't it be more fun with an orange?

Why do the Australian field always make more noise for Warne than, say, McGrath or Lee? "ooooooh, bowling Warner, good areas, lovely", for example. Admittedly they also make quite a noise for Jason Gillespie, along the lines of 'you're fucking shit Dizzy'.

The Aussies knocked the Poms off the pitch at the Camp Smitty One Day International between AUS/UK forces in Iraq, held on Day One of the First Test. When the batsmen get lippy, insted of bowling a bouncer, you can engage him with two quick shots to his kevlar armour. That really puts a sting to the concept of 'bodyline'.

I have this theory that Rod Marsh is actually a deep deep undercover mole planted by the Aussies in the English cricket system. They thought they were buying some rugged old wise key to downunder's domination. Instead it now appears ole Bacchus Marsh was egging them on to outbutch the Aussies at their own game. But let's face it, there's only been a very few poms so far who could out-intimindate the Aus team. And I don't see any Dr Graces, Harold Larwoods or Beefys in the current English lineup, And I reckon neither does Rod.

Love to see his private emails to his cricket mates here.

Typhoon Tyson was a good maddie. Then he realised he was miscast as a Pom and came home to Oz.

"Why do the Australian field always make more noise for Warne than, say, McGrath or Lee? "ooooooh, bowling Warner, good areas, lovely", for example."

Because when Warne is bowling, Gilchrist is standing right next to the stump microphone...

Tony, with the game being broadcast on differing channels almost throughout the year it is interesting to compare and rate the Commo's.

With old 'Bumble' being mentioned in the above post i have to say that the bloke is very enthusiastic (rare in a Pom) and he infectiously loves the Poms to an extreme but at least his humour shines through and he doesn't often go over the top. He enjoys a laugh but also knows the game- which wasn't always evident during his stint as a coach. I reckon he is there to stay.

Bill Lawry:- It's tough to gauge what could bring this bloke down from his heightened state of hyperbole. He speaks like a kicking horse and batted like a rotting corpse.

Ian Smith:- Too bloody excitable for my, and others, tastes. His ever blinding optimism is hard to digest- an acquired taste. He recently played a lone hand in the box for the Kiwis and tried to convince me that they are good. He failed.

Nasser Hussain:- He has good inside knowledge and is incisive and direct- but could end up going down the Willis route into boredom. He certainly knows all about the players and their feel for the game. He's made a pretty smooth transition into the box.

Mike Atherton:- A surprise. Bloody good opener, mebbe the best of the new Commo breed. It helps that he is intelligent, but is funny to boot, exact & iconoclastic. Some of his stuff goes over my head but he is like a very fine red wine.Manages to convey what is happening without over doing things- got a good future.

Richie Benaud:- Still the God. Complete outfit. Incomparable. The Master. etc etc .

Mark Taylor:- His machine gun delivery is likely more suited to commentating on Brazilian soccer games. Has an annoying tendency to irritate.

Ian Healy:- Tries too hard to predict events before they actually happen. He still believes he is out there playing the game. Shut up man !!!

Bob Bloody Willis:- His dreary 'dry' monologue- does he view the world in black & white ?- is very depressing. His commentating is similar to talking to a mummy about face cream- pointless and rank. Retire soon.

Michael Holding:- The Black Bob Willis. At times he almost makes Willis look the life and soul of a rage !!! Absolutely no sense of humour and is very bloody boring. He clearly misses the great West Indian quickies- especially himself. A quick tip Michael- retire to betting on the races please.

And i've also heard snippets from barry Richards and Graeme Pollock and the least said about those characterless morons the better. Yarps. Enough said.

Not sure what's going on over there in WA, Brett, but I haven't heard Bill, Smuthy, Heals and Tubbatha during this series.

So far I've enjoyed listening most to Nasser Hussain. Surprised myself there, but he has a nice turn of mischeivous wit and has said some interesting things.

The guy what hosts on SBS has also been good value. Simon Something, it is.

Compare England's nonsense with Shane Warne coming in to bowl. He doesn't need to say anything! But if he did, you know what it would be?

"Can't bowl, can't bat" I suspect, quietly but directly into the stump microphone. And the batsman, if he was on his mettle, would mutter "Male slut" into the stump mic at his end.

As for commentators, I was amazed at how diabolically tedious Ian Botham was. You would never guess from his commentary that he was capable of breaking a bed during a heavy petting session with a model, unless she suddenly fell backwards into a state of sudden somnolence. I did get a giggle out of Botham's tedious, humourless, unimaginative droolings once when David Lloyd lapsed into a contemptuous silence after Beefy had asked for about the 50th time what he thought about the selection of Pietersen for the Tests. It's ironic that Bill Lawry commentates in the style of Botham's batting, while Botham commentates in the style of Lawry's batting. I know which I prefer. And it would be cruel to mention Botham's fellow undead commentators Allott and Willis. If this is typical of English commentators, it's no wonder that talented English youngsters aren't being drawn to the game.

Absolutely correct, Clem. Beefy is a dolt. Willis & Allo ... snore!

Mike Atherton did a great programme on R4 yesterday about the work of Hemingway, very well put together and Atherton proved to be a knowledgeable and entertaining presenter.

It might be on the BBC R4 Listen Again section of the website if you're lucky.

Michael Holding still has the best sounding voice though.

Thanks, Mike. I'm a bit of a fan of Ather's work so I will see if I can hunt that one down. Does he argue with Michael Slater while talking about Hemingway?

No, but there's a minor spat with Michael Holding when they branch off into a discussion of late 60's reggae lyrics.

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