David Astle compiles the crossword in The Age. Astle is reviled by all for his idiotic clues, but this one pilfers the baked confection.
By the way, people who do cryptic crosswords do the crossword. On the other hand, people who do quick crosswords just do the crossword. They are oafs. There are crosswords and there are crosswords, as I’m sure you are aware.
Update! Some good eggs in comments. It turns out Astle's so-called answer was "If you want to make an omelet you have to break some eggs". That's a bit rich for me. The Phrase Thesaurus version is closer to how things should look; "You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs." It's ridiculous to butcher a phrase to fit the crossword. And since when do us Strayans (Astle is one, too) spell omelettes sans te? Next we'll be changing tires and picking our favorite colors.
And it's not just me. Here's a letter to The Age. Mind you, it's a wussy affair, what with the self-esteem whine. Better to grab Astle and force-feed him the crossword page.
It, erm, that, is, what, my, answer, his, dick, is, latin, verb, fire
Am I even close?
Posted by: Russell Allen | 01 July 2005 at 14:31
No idea. I gave up at about the fourth word.
Posted by: Tony.T | 01 July 2005 at 15:10
If you want to make an omelet you have to break some eggs.
Posted by: mickhs | 01 July 2005 at 16:26
mickhs has it, though I normally spell omelette like... how I just spelt it. ?
Posted by: BourbonBird | 01 July 2005 at 16:39
That's tenuous at best...even for a cryptic crossword.
I had once read that the hardest ever clue was in The Times (UK) crossword some time way back in the eighties.
Clue: E (13 letters)
Answer: Senselessness
You can't make that shit up. Unsurprisingly, not one person in the history of the world has ever got it.
Posted by: Russell Allen | 01 July 2005 at 16:48
Senselessness? The only reason I would give that answer was because the f*cking clue was senseless. Sheesh!
Tony's clue above appeared in last Friday's SMH. Friday's crosswords used to be quite difficult, but I'm finding Saturday's the hardest now.
I agree omelette should be spelt that way, but SMH seems to be using american spellchecks these days.
Posted by: mickhs | 01 July 2005 at 16:56
I'd say that SMH is buying them in from abroad. Some yank is getting stiffed on royalties because he has no idea his boss has syndicated his puzzles to those crazy austrians (close enough).
Posted by: Russell Allen | 01 July 2005 at 17:14
Excellent work, MickHS. Tick. VG.
BUT Parte The Firste: I'm with BB, a six letter omelet is taking liberties.
BUT BUT Parte The Seconde: I know the phrase as "You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs" and a quick squizz at the Phrase Thesaurus backs that up.
If Astle is going to start butchering phrases to make his answers fit he needs a good punch in the throat to "hash his settle". "Right him set" as it were. I think you all know exactly what I mean.
AND AND Parte The Firste: Russ and Mick, I don't even come close to understanding what the uck that E clue is about.
Posted by: Tony.T | 01 July 2005 at 17:56
Sense without ness = E
Posted by: Russell Allen | 01 July 2005 at 18:03
Oh. Right. I get it now. I just had a wee episode there. All better now.
Posted by: Tony.T | 01 July 2005 at 18:10
I have a friend who does the cryptic crossword every time it's in The Telegraph. What's worse is he inevitably asks me what I think are the answers, before always, without fail, working them out for himself in about five minutes.
I've never got a single one. My mind just doesn't work that way. I've become suspicious of every who can - the word 'cryptic' is deistictly close to 'shifty' in my book.
Posted by: Steve | 01 July 2005 at 20:35
if you don't like the crossword
or can't do the crossword
don't do the crossword
Posted by: the x | 01 July 2005 at 22:10
I thought the idea of cryptic crosswords was to fill them in with any old random words that fit in 5 minutes, and then mutter to everyone on the bus: "I wish they'd make it a challenge just once in a while".
Posted by: Clem Snide | 02 July 2005 at 01:12
Is Astle his pen name ? Albert Bloody Einstein couln't have been more cryptic than that. I reckon he's taking the Piss to extreme measures.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 02 July 2005 at 02:56
I wonder if he's related to Nathan?
Posted by: RT | 02 July 2005 at 08:08
X marks the clot.
Posted by: Tony.T | 04 July 2005 at 15:37
"Bad Knee forces Astle out of the Sixth ODI" ran a recent headline. Hopefully Cryptic Astle can run into similar problems with his fingers and find something else to do with his spare time.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 04 July 2005 at 20:27
"Bad pen forces Astle out of Six Across"
Posted by: Tony.T | 04 July 2005 at 20:30
Thats a good idea about force feeding Astle with his own crossword page- make the Bastard eat his own words for a change. And why not salt ? And pour some malt vinegar on for good measure. He has always had an acid tongue.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 04 July 2005 at 20:55
my mother is a diehard fan of The Age crosswords, and has consistently complained about DA for ages...she's trying to get her head around The Times crossword now because she is so frustrated at The Age
And the articles are going to shit as well, the op/ed pages suck donkeys balls as well
Posted by: Rachel | 08 July 2005 at 14:53
I love The Times crossword, Rachel. It's very hard which makes it immensely satisfying to get the clues out. I've only ever got it all out once, back in 1999. Most times I only get about half of it out, but yesterday I only got three ofg the blighters. Wednesday, though, I only had three to get.
The Age one has too many anagrams.
Posted by: Tony.T | 09 July 2005 at 13:43