"Failing to plan is planning to fail," they say. "Balls!" I say.
How often have you gone out anticipating a blinder but end up having a shocker? Often, I'm sure you'll agree. It's the Law of Diminishing Return writ large in beer. On a coaster. If you are sitting there right now, all adrool at the prospect of a huuuuuuuge night sometime soon, well I'm sorry, but you'd better stay home; your night is already a bust. The good news is though, it works in reverse. To make up for that impending disaster, pop on out tonight for a couple of quiet drinkies and you'll have a monster; nothing surer. Spontaneity, is what I'm saying. Forget the planning; planned events are best left unplanned.
I have been invited to something called a "progressive dinner", which I thought might be quite exciting, with naked guests and everyone eating with their feet, and eating really genetically modified food, the absolute latest dernier cri in nosh. Sadly not, what it is, is my least favourite thing in the world "organised fun" ...
-- Noreen, Progressive? I think you mean fucking awful
Yet again, the inestimable Noreen is right. Organised fun, fun that is planned, is no fun at all. There are few things worse that organised fun. Salient amongst those few, of course - suffering the swine who organise organised fun.
If you are in America (and maybe the UK), a coaster is a piece of colourful absorbent cardboard suppiled for drinkers to rest their drinks on. You hand out napkins over there. Or serviettes or toilet paper or whatever those tissue things are called.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 July 2005 at 14:02
Yep, that's why New Year's Eve nearly always sucks.
Posted by: carneagles | 26 July 2005 at 14:24
Precise. Lee. NYE has become better of late as I've accepted it's simply better to go to a friend's place for a few quiet ones.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 July 2005 at 14:32
Fortunately, I am a bloke cos I hear Hen's Nights are the worst example of organised fun in humanity.
"Let's place pass the parcel...No?...Are you sure? It's got a dildo in it."
Posted by: Russell Allen | 26 July 2005 at 14:49
And other sex-gimmicks. Like whips, blow-up dolls and chocolate undies. No, scratch the choco undies. That's just an accident.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 July 2005 at 14:53
Great advice - I will try the 'not planning' approach and run with it.
Posted by: sheriffofnothing | 26 July 2005 at 15:15
It's a winner, for sure. Run it by your local planning board first.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 July 2005 at 16:07
But you are already planning when you plan not to plan. So it really defeats the purpose. Really great nights just happen.
But I guess Schapelle Corby "planned" not to get caught... and look what happened to her. Think of your worst planned doo and times it by 20 years.
Posted by: Adsy | 26 July 2005 at 16:23
Schappy with think twice before she ever plans again.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 July 2005 at 16:27
Is she capable of thought though? Not a happy Schappy.
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 26 July 2005 at 18:20
We do have 'coasters' here in Blighty, but we call them beermats. This is, I think, a much better name for them. I know quite a bit about beermats, since I am an utter sad bastard who collects them. This hobby is called 'tegestology', and I don't advise you try it, because once you start you can't stop.
I'm all worried about my big night tonight now. Cheers!
Posted by: Steve | 26 July 2005 at 22:15
I think a progressive dinner could be rather amusing, if one were to substitute a list of random addresses for the planned ones.
Posted by: Dr. E. Scientist, phD. | 27 July 2005 at 04:12
[OT]Tony, your passion for David Hasselhoff is well known :) have you seen the cover of Radar, the today insert in Sydney Morning Herald?
That's the link
[OT]
Posted by: Davide | 27 July 2005 at 18:28
Went to one of those "How to Host a Murder" dinners" for my wife's work Chrissy do a few years back. I'd heard many good reports about them so was quite looking forward to it.
Man, let down of the century. Anyone familiar with these bloody things?
You all pile in and get an envelope which tells you what character you are. There's a couple of goofy TAFE Theatre Arts type kids hosting the gig, wearing some goofy period costumes.
Your envelope might tell you have to do a number of things during the night, mostly consisting of standing up and reading out what you're told to read out. You're lead by the hand thru a weak-as-piss plot by your goofy host kiddies. There is no unscripted interaction. No skill. No decisions to be made. The whole story just gets rolled out by the Theatre Arts kiddies. Oh, and a couple of cheap props get thrown out during the night. Like, you might get to say your lines wearing a goofy hat.
It takes bloody forever, AND THE WHOLE THING TAKES PLACE IN A LICENSED RESTAURANT!!! Valuable talking and (free) piss drinking and (free) food eating time is taken up by this boring buffoonery.
How could anyone find it entertaining? What kinda moron would be entertained by that?
(Of the 50 or so people there, most got either one line or zero lines to say. I managed to fluke the role with the 2nd most things to do, so it made the night almost barely tolerable. But then I felt like a twat coz I knew no one and no one knew me so they're all probably thinkin' "Does anyone know this fella? Did he just walk in off the street?"
Posted by: Far Car | 28 July 2005 at 01:12
I went to one of those things once, Far Car. I had a great time adding lines at random and looking very suspicious.
Come to think of it, there was an actual murder that night. The guests were all impressed with the realism, but none of them wanted to do it again.
Pity, that.
Posted by: Dr. E. Scientist, phD. | 28 July 2005 at 04:03
No plan survives contact with the alcohol.
Posted by: Nabakov | 29 July 2005 at 01:42