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I'm soooo doing that to my Optusnet twats...

...you mark my words...

Don't forget to read the rest, Russ ...

This weekend sees the European Convention and Conference of Narcotics Anonymous come to Citywest in Dublin. More than 1,000 former drug addicts will attend.

Wouldn't it be a larf to work out there in the bar or as a waiter, slipping acid into their coca-cola, sprinkling the tiramasu with cocaine and smack, hiding E's inside the Fererro Rocher chocolates and swapping the non-alcholic beer for real alcoholic beer. Then let a tiger and a bear loose in the room. I bet they'd dig their own eyes out of their heads in flashback terror.

The sentiment is great but a logistical nightmare. I'll just call Optus, abuse them and order a pizza on their behalf. Tooo easy...

Poor pizza bloke will be sent from department to department and they find someone to fix him up...

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