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This week is only two working days old. Get a grip, man. Maybe you are feeling under the pump because the kiddies see through your taunts and you are no longer allowed to hit them.

As Peter Roebuck used to say the teaching profession has been going downhill since they abolished the cane.

I had exactly the same problem as a parent. The upside is that you can taunt your own kids when they grow up or forever

I've always thought you have to fight fire with fire. Since every other kiddie is bringing a knife into school so should you. If any of them misbehave and tell them you'll kill their mum or poison their dog. Then they'll realise it isn't so nice when it happens to them.

It sounds extreme but it's the way forward...alternatively, take the Camp X-Ray approach and deprive them of their senses and have them standing in stressful positions for detention.

I know the feeling- I've been busier than a one-armed Baghdad brickie of late, with the addition of having to get re-accredited by an officious bureaucracy, who thieve 500 beer vouchers off me and make me jump through ill-concieved hoops so I can do their work for them, and sign a co-operative agreement whereby they do nothing, and I give them the right to apply industrial solvents to my bollocks if I make any sort of error. Ain't partial privatisation wunnerful? Then again, I also just fucked over another officious bureauracy for 100 gorillas in the AAT, so life's not all colon cancer.

When they had the Triathlon World Champs in Perth a few years ago, the IDIOT ORGANSIERS were too busy filling their piggy mouths with free food at various sponsors' dos to mark out the course properly. The running leg was a whopping 20% short.

In the newspaper the next day, it was described in the same story as a "fiasco" and a "farce" and a "foul-up".

That will be all.

I remember that. I love farce-ups of that nature.

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