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That is sick. Don't you ever feel like a drink?

Just stumbled across your blog after accidently clicking on a link somewhere. But hey, I loved this post! You are SO right, and your put what my theory is into words - thank you.


I do, Paul. Often. But as soon as I ask myself "Do I really want one?" I find myself answering "Not really." Although I was more than a little jealous of my mates at the SCG on Saturday night, whooping it up on the sauce when The Dees beat The Pinks.

A pleasure, Alisha. Thanks. Ironic you should "stumble" onto a post about boozing. Or maybe not.

There is a Russian saying that one bottle (bottle, not drink ) of vodka is too little, 2 too much, 3 not enough. Thief!

Don't blame me, Amanda. I don't know any Russians, or an Russian, for that matter. Blame Thurber.

Anyhoo, they're a moderate mod, aren't they. Those Ruskis.

You a teacher AND two years of the fizz. Fuck me its a screwed up world!

You're too, too kind. Thank you very little.

Despite being allowed to have the odd drink every now and then, I haven't had one for months now. And I don't miss it at all. I'm scared I'm turning into you.

I miss it only when friends are out playing and keep texting me about what a fine time they're having. But I know what they're like at about 11:00 and I'm glad to be out of it on the whole. The rest of the time, well 90% of it anyway, it doesn't worry me.

And you could turn in to worse things. Can't think of anything right away, though.

Well probably. And I've got bigger jugs than you currently. I hope. So its not all bad.

Jugs. Booze. There's gotta be a very classy gag in there somewhere.

C'mon, Tone. There's a pun just WAITING for you.

Yeah, I know there's one there, but I just can't seem to squeeze it out. Tits right on the tip of my tongue.

See. All class.

Congrats, Tone. You're the man!
Happy 2nd Anniversary.

Thanks, Rob. Still "one year at a time", as they say. Or something like that.

I'll have one for you in celebration, shall you?

I, I, shall I. Good grief.

Be responsible, Anne. Don't get blind drunk.

I hate people.

You have sound judgement, Grodsy; there's a lot to hate.

"First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man."

Some people aren't in danger from the stuff, to others it's deadly.

I'm in the former category, but have seen much damage caused to people in the latter. So congrats.

Thanks, Alan. I must admit when I got fully on the fuel "danger" was the operative word. Quite the lunatic on occasions. Thankfully, that wasn't very often.

One of the main reasons I've stayed off the sauce is the number of people I look at and go "F~~k me! I don't want to end up like THAT loser."

And also, I can mostly have just one drink, but in the main, fail to see the point of having to limit myself. That restraint thing works to put a pall over procedings. What if I feel like two. Or three. And shit, I have to drive! That is definitely a downer.

Wanted, also, to see what it was like for people who don't overdo it. You know, people who go out and don't booze it up. That takes some getting used to. Christ, I'm boring!

Congratulations Tony!

All this time I thought your blog name was more a piss take on After Grog Bogs or AGBs as they're known in Queensland.

I honestly don't know how you do it? I'd be terrified my life wouldn't be any fun without booze. Going a week without alcohol scares me. And it's one of the many reasons I never want to get pregnant!

Congratulations on your strength and sobriety.

Thanks, Shel, but I've a distasteful confession -- that's how the name started out. Not long after, though, I gave up the laughing lolly. So I suppose you could say it worked out good.

And you are right to be terrified. I am bang-to-rights the world's most boring person. Sober and un-hungover, mind you, but a stone bore.

Unlikely to get preggers last time I checked.

hmmm, dunno about the world's most boring person. don't strike me that way.
and if you're ever searching for a new reason not to drink, check out the shit i write. :-)

i'm sure you don't need the reassurance, but just in case you do, if you don't want to be a drinker, then keep up the good work

Thanks, Ratty.

Actually, I meant mainly when I go out; sitting there watching people get pissed up. Because alcohol is a stimulant, about the same time people are firing up, I'm looking for a pillow. It's ok up to a point, but when their shorthand kicks in, I'm happy to bail.

Congrats. You'll outlive all of us.

Touch wood. Although Old Timers is an issue in my family. Hopefully they'll have a cure by then because I don't want to be watering the gnomes with no pants on.

By the way. I was mighty jealous of my mates ringing up and rabbbiting on from the SCG and the Olympic on Sat-Dee night. Swine!

Too late in the day to be responsible, but I'm lucky enough to be a pain without ever getting blind drunk.
Did you quit the ciggies at the same time?

I'm a former heavy smoker, too, Anne. In fact, I've given up many times. This latest effort is up to four years and five days. Not that I'm counting.

That is the most sensible thing I've ever heard anyone say.

Sensible? Don't spread it around, peemil.

Congrats, Tony. I don't think you're boring at all. In fact I have decided that I am more boring when drunk, as I keep repeating the same stories over and over until my friends want to kill me.

Thanks, vague. You know, I'm amazingly entertaining when I'm drunk. Really. That's why I gave it up; I entertained everyone to both tears AND death.

Isn't it great to only up-chuck when you're actually ill?
Shoes stay so much cleaner,too.

Up-chuck? That term makes me chuck up. Dunno why. Just does.

The thing I hate most about chucking up is all the crap you get in your nose. And the red eyes are never a good look. Or good to look through, for that matter.

I'm a boring cunt sober or drunk. And I shamefully confess, I LIKE being drunk.

However, I'm thoughtful, and usually I drink alone, therefore avoiding inflicting my vile self on other people. Now I've just got to learn to not blog when I'm drunk.

I LIKE being drunk, too, Wicky. Too much! But I also dislike being a fuckwit when I'm pissed. That strict Protestant "do the right thing" guilt eventually kicks in, no matter how lightly I'm played up, and I end up feeling like an arse.

There's also the money, the health, the, well, the pretty much everything, actually.

Onya, fella! Over 14 years for me now but I can still vividly remember how fucked-up I was and how bloody boring. Keep up the good work!

Thanks, Mick.

No doubt the bad memories outweigh the good. And although the good were very good, the bad were worse. To pinch a drinky metaphor, I'm probably a half-glass-empty type of drinker. I'm not that thick that I can't see where the Law of Diminishing Returns is going.

There's also the not insignificant issue of having less people to play with.

Well done Tony. Yer a legend.

Thanks, Patrick. "In me own lunchbox"

Tony, you risk becoming a mook.

You know the type of weirdoes that would hang out with your crew, come to all the parties and social events, and just hang around the outer and observe. They would never touch a drop, and you always felt slightly uncomfortable with them around.

Gave me the creeps actually, they did.

My own success story if I may: I recently went from being a long time heavy drinker (probably averaging 8 stubbies of full-strength 13 days per fortnight) to a very light drinker. One day I was going to the bottle-o to grab a 6-pack and thought "nah, fuck it" and went for a run instead. A very slow painful run.

I lasted 8 weeks without alcohol. Then I went on a 3-day bender over New Year's that would make Ollie Reed proud. Then I had a big one next weekend, and now I haven't touched a drop for over 3 months. I've kept up the running, am twice as fit, and have dropped 13kg and counting.

I tell ya what, I don't miss the hangovers, and I love being clear headed. But shit, it's fun to get pissed and I certainly didn't regret falling off the wagon, and I'm definitely looking for a good excuse to get pissed with my mates some time soon. I reckon I've definitely "beaten it", and I'll probably average 4 or 5 sessions per year from now on.

Well done on the abstinence, especially you being an admitted heavy drinker. But for God's sake Tony, get pissed with ya mates at the footy next time you get the chance.

And Caz, I'm not one to lecture a stranger on their pregnancy, but since you're doing a Kate Langbroek by never shutting up about your pregnancy in the public domain, and since I'm in holier-than-thou-mode: EVEN ONE DRINK WILL DAMAGE YOUR BABY! Who told you this "allowed to have the odd drink" BS?!

There's also the money, the health, the, well, the pretty much everything...

And then there's the being a mook. And scaring away your friends. And not being invited out.


Aren't Mooks those dickhead Americans who wear baseball caps backwards, chug-a-lug beer, listen to Limp Bisquit and say "yo" alot?

I'm definitely not one of those tools.

When I started I wasn't going to make it a long term thing. I thought I'd start again at my brother's fortieth. But then I got there and I though, well, I haven't had a drink for four months, may as weel see if I can keep it going. Then I thought I'd start at X-mas, that was eight months. Nope. Then New Years. Nope. Then I'd been off for a year and thought Why start again?. After a year I'd broken the habit of coming home for a swift-one. Now it's two years and the over-riding factor is still the same WHY SHOULD I HAVE ONE?

But you're absolutely correct: getting on the sauce with my mates would be great. But it would have to be a massive occasion. Last year I said I wouldn't have one until Melbourne won a premiership, so I guess, for the time being, I'll stick to that. If they do, though, I'll see whether or not I feel like one then.

I remember Tony Adams, the Arsenal captain once said that the best Premiership he one was the one he could remember. That's not bad, I reckon. I'll keep that in mind if the Dees get up some day.

Funny thing is, footy, cricket, music, in fact, pretty much all the stuff I've done is less interesting when you're off the fuel. I guess Homer Simpson was right.

"Mummy I don't want to go to Uncle Tony's. He scares me."


That's the way I like it around here - keep the kids away.

Yeah! I used to have the idea of giving the booze a run when North Sydney won the Rugby League premiership (which they hadn't since 1922). But the mongrel bastards of a so-called administration threw them out of the competition. So sobriety reigns supreme.

Forget the lost playmates. You now get on a lot better with yourself.

There's some good karma, Mick. I used to follow Norths, too. Now they're out, though, and seeing I live in Melbourne, I follow the Storm. Merely as a formality, mind you.

You now get on a lot better with yourself.

Heh he.

Stop that!

Aren't Mooks those dickhead Americans who wear baseball caps backwards, chug-a-lug beer, listen to Limp Bisquit and say "yo" alot?

I am certain I read an article somewhere that had mooks as being these creepy weird on-the-outside-staring-in types. But I checked on http://www.urbandictionary.com/ and I am wrong. For shame.

What is the point of having one drink? There is no point. And what is one drink? I'll tell you what one drink is; one drink is nothing. So there you have it in a nutshell. By having nothing to drink, I'm actually having one drink.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm not saying have one drink. I'm saying have half a carton. Full strength. Geddit India. That's 18 standard drinks, my friend.

One drink indeed.

ps: I think I found the real you.

Haa. Haa.

That can't be me, I reckon Star Wars bites.

And I'm sure if I ever get on the sauce again, it won't be for one pissy drink. I'll be gitting stuck right in.

I hear and obey.

I knew that you would. Very good.

congratulations Tony.

Bailz! G'day, bloke. I thought you'd disappeared. Or worse, gotten a job.

everyone should drink super tennents.its top shit.i drink 4 cans a night.and i am in sound mind.....................mashedtater....ohah......dogcat...duckquak

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