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Bloody bog-trotters; I wish they'd all drink themselves to death so we don't have to listen to another fucking U2 song.

Its a bloody third world country (coming from someone with an Irish passport - amongst many, just call me Bourne). Last year the whole Aus family went over there and we picked a route from the south to the north. Looking at the map, the N1 sticks out like a sore thumb. Aha we thought, a freeway! Not so, just a dodgy single lane road passing through every farkin village and derelict farm shed on the way. Get stuck behind a tractor and you're knackered. My mother in law (Australian) said, "Fancy things like that getting in the way of international traffic like us".

Probably inspired by Ball Bag's Blog.

Can't even spell Shane MacGowan's name right. He's still a genius, just not pretty.

The sentiment is right though - bogtrotting bastards.

Bicks, please don't mention U2 around here. There's a good chap.

Pretty damn top-shelf mother-in-law you got there, Flutey.

Must admit I don't mind taking the slow-roads when on holiday. Last time I was in 'Merica I even went the back way into New Orleans; right through bayou country. Now THAT was an eye-opener. But I'm none too fond of travelling on shit roads and getting stuck in traffic if I actually want to get somewhere. Bloody pain in the arse, that.

Now, SB. You're supposed to look at the links in my post. I'll say no more for now.

Oh yeah. I'll adjust the spelling, too.

Ta.

Point taken.

You are forgiven.

This time.

Ah, crack at the mick, eh?

In this era of politeness, Ed, I feel it's important we occasionally revisit "the classics".

You know, to remember the good old days.

"Alright, the Niggers and the Chinks can stay, but we don'y want the Irish".

"Nobody move! Or the Queenslander gets it."

You English pig. Youre supposed to be nice to minorities now.

PS: That episode of Alan Partridge with those French clowns was priceless.

Irish aren't minority anymore. They've taken over. As I look through the window, there's even a GREEN car coming down the street.

I've given up booze and smokes so I'm enjoying the only evil left to me; stereotyping.

It's all part of us Catholics sly plan. We have lots more babies than you anal Protestants and we'll soon be running things around here.

The Pope know's his onions. Thats why he's against contraception.

He doesn't care about much at all at the moment. He's stuck up in an oxy-tent watching The Clock Channel on closed circuit Hospital TV.

Whilst you are right up to a point, you should be careful not to confuse Irish with Oirish, they are very different. If you went to Dublin now it is full of swanky bars where everybody sets their new mobile on the table in front of them so people can see it, then occasionally pick it up and bray into it about how much money they make. It is becoming depressingly like London.

At least the N1 is now a nice shiny new road with no speed cameras so you can drive at about 100mph. Thank you, EU.

My parents are Irish so I spent a lot of holidays there as a child. From what I saw, and what my mother has told me, it is a nasty smallminded inbred place where children are beaten by nuns and you can't go into pubs in case you get shot and everyone hates you if you are successful. The town she grew up in once let a convent of nuns burn to death rather than have the firemen see them in their nighties. That pretty much sums it up. All this happy leprechaun stuff is weird.

Call me un Australian if you will.....BUT i personally do not mind the Irish- Southern Irish that is. Laid back, inoffensive types of blokes i've found. Also have got drunk beyond belief in a few of their company. They gave us Guinness for Chrissakes !!!!

Shite, I was just saying to a friend the other day, shite doesn't everybody think they are Irish these days.

Used to share house with someone who "dated" someone in one of those jiggy-jiggy Irish music bands.

Thanks for re-opening old wounds, Tony.

"If you had the luck of the Irish
You'd wish you were English instead"

Alan Partridge. What a classic. His Sunday Bloody Sunday speech proved inspiration for me.

And if I can't say shite can I please still say "Crunt"?

Ball Bag: I heard you're a property developer. How come you aren't braying in the swanky bars with the other moneyed Dubliners? Ever slung a cashmere sweater over your shoulder?

Nursey: I have a good Irish friend who swears black and blue the Irish are the most racist country on earth.

Brett: Guinness? Pah!

Darlene: Best get those things out in the open. I believe the word is "closure". What an awful word! I hate "closure".

Pat: ... err ... I've got nothing. Can't top a top quote like that. Top stuff. Topping, in fact.

Adam: Shite's out. Crunt's in. The former has totally worn out it's welcome and the latter, well, you're the only person I've ever heard use it. Crunt away!

GUINNESS is crunt! And so are jiggy-jiggy Irish music bands. Folking crap.

Sure an all dat unemplomint be long gone- even Oi've managed to git a job, an all I do in hang around der pool all day, an have fat ladies sit on me, to be sure.

Deej: I noticed your turn of phrase up there; "The Pope know's his onions." You've been reading Harry's blog, haven't you?

Paddy: You're missing the obligatory Jaysus! and a salutary TOT Mornin'. Lift your game, please.

Just how is shite pronounced by the by ?

we always said shite, 'cos it made us lots more Irush, begorrah.
'Ave a look at the lot of us, und we're Irish dickheads to be sure, without a doubt. If some cunt of a recording company hadn't picked us up, the fucking edge would be living in a skip.

Oim Oirish. Bejesus, how are you? May a plague of snakes drive you all into the water you racist, Howardite, bastards.
And shite is pronounced 'Brett Pee' where I'm from: just round the corner from a Walkabout in Earls Court.

I take it that the Clowns above have been partaking of a little TOO much of the Whiskey, to be sure.

Shit! Is there another Bono in another band?

It's OK, Pikey, we love the Irish. Really. Although I still hate green. And U2. And The Coors. And fiddle-dee-dee jiggy-jiggy music. And Leprechauns. And Shite.

Actually, I knew you were Irish when I saw you jabbering madly at the G-Blogging. Irish, lefthand, shorthand, the lot. You were totally hammered. Man, you put away some Guinness! **

** Possibly, just possibly not true. A lie, even.

Don't you remember Bono from Take That?

Tony what does it mean for our relationship - I like Bob Dylan and I'm more than partial to a bit of U2. Does my contradictory existence appall you?

Anyway, was in a pub with 'Pikie' last night, and all he talked about was you, to be sure.

Ed, Take That is an outfit whose dubious bono (ho ho) fides have fortunately eluded me.

No problem on the contradiction front, though. I like Leo Sayer. I'm well capable of appalling myself.

You sprung me. I have and a jolly wheeze it is too.

The Irish are the most loveable people on God's Green Earth. I wish they would shut up.

NOBODY likes Leo Sayer. Surely. Probably not even when he was big. Whenever that was. He is,was, and always will be a bloody dinosaur. Hrrrrrrmmmmmppppphhhhhh!!!!!!!

I was travellin’ down the road, feelin’ hungry and cold
I saw a sign sayin’ food and drinks for everyone
So naturally I thought I would take me a look inside
I saw so much food, there was water comin’ from my eye

Yeah there was ham an’ there was turkey, there was caviar
An’ long tall glasses, with wine up to yar

An’ then somebody grabbed me, threw me outta my chair
Said before you can eat, you gotta dance like fred astaire

You know I can’t dance, you know I can’t dance
You know I can’t dance, you know I can’t dance
I can’t dance

I am a man of the road -- a hobo by name
I don’t seek entertainment, just poultry and game
But if it’s all the same to you, then yes I will try my hand
If you were as hungry as me then I’m sure you would understand

Hmmm
Now wait a minute
Let me see now

Of course I can dance of course I can dance
I’m sure I can dance, I’m sure I can dance..
I can dance

I can dance
I really hit the floor
Ah feels good
Look at me dancin’

I did a two-step, quick-step and a bossa nova
A little victor silvester, and a rudy valentino
You should a seen me movin’, right across the floor
Hand me down my tuxedo, next week I’m comin’ back for more

I can dance -- oh yes! I can dance
Look at me dancin’ the floor movin’
I feel good -- I can dance
I can dance, I can dance, I can dance.

yeah....but can you SING?

Don't be stupid! Of course can. Err, can't.

you are idiots you have stoped u2 coming to austrlia and they are my fav band and bono can sing you dirty idots you stop insulting u2 you dum stupid moreons uop yours they can sing better than all you put togeather so UP YOURS you shit HEADS

you are idiots you have stoped u2 coming to austrlia and they are my fav band and bono can sing you dirty idots you stop insulting u2 you dum stupid moreons UP YOURS they can sing better than all you put togeather so UP YOURS you shit HEADS

Errr....Quite eloquently said.

Thank you, Ben. I love you, too.

"This song is not a rebel song, this song is Tuesday Bloody Tuesday!!" come on Ben sing along with me "Tuesdaaaayy bloody Tusedaaay, gotta do some clothes washing this Tusdaaaay" - wait sorry about that, I thought you were talking about Omo. My mistake.

you smart arse! the only omo around here is you so suck my ass you freakin tuesday luvin sputin bag.

i have a song for you pat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the lucksmiths: fear of rollercosters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you shit head

I wish you had done some research before defaming John MacHale. He dedicated his life to his flock. Claiming him responsible for the famine shows you have not bothered to investigate the politics of his day.

THE IRISH ARE GREAT =]

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