Ok, so in Lost the plane crashes on the beach and this guy, Locke, a paraplegic, nutso, phone-sex, wannabe big-game-hunter with toy soldiers wiggles his toes and can suddenly walk again. Run, even. When called he gingerly gets to his feet then happily bounces off down the beach like cheesecake in a Coke commercial. No problem here, though. It's sci-fi so naturally, plane crashes cure paraplegia. It would be perfectly acceptable were the explanation to be that they are back in time, back before cars and car crashes, so Locke couldn't have been hurt in a car accident.
That's all big-time fiction, though; and like I said, I'm an engineer, not a doctor. Plane crash therapy is out of my purview. Although it's something of a stretch to believe that no one has noticed the guy who got onto the plane in a wheelchair is suddenly up and about and making like Obelix on a boar rampage.
No, I'm more interested in the wheelchair itself. You see, all the passengers are off collecting wood to cremate the fusilage. Back and forth they tramp, each toting armloads of logs. Very neatly cut logs, by the way. Except for one person. Every now and then this one person is in shot tipping a couple of logs off the wheelchair, less than can be carried by any one person, as it happens, and you don't see him actually struggling to push the chair through the sand. When was the last time you saw a wheelchair moving along sand? That's right, never.
Once again, this is the kind of careless slipshoddery that makes perfectly believable science fiction seem like a more than usually bogus episode of It's About Time.
Just two notes about last week's episode. One, Australians do not do "chores"; we do jobs around the house, farm, whatever. And two, criminals here are not identified because someone "saw their picture on the wall in the post office".
Just had a thought driving to work.
Sure Locke's a bit of a nut, but his office boss was a total c**t. I've never had a boss who was a complete shit like this one in Lost. Do bosses like that REALLY exist? Or is it just another "only in the movies" thing?
Posted by: Tony.T | 25 February 2005 at 12:08
Why do you torture yourself? Let it go - you'll give yourself a coronary if you go on abusing your sensibilities watching this tripe.
Posted by: os | 25 February 2005 at 12:17
Aww shit, that looks as if I CARE about you and what you do. Bloody Victorian, bloody Demons supporter - pschaw, go to hell the lot of you.
Ahh, that's better.
Posted by: os | 25 February 2005 at 12:19
But I like the show. It's just that every now and again there's something in it which makes me think the makers just don't have their thinking caps on.
Go 'Mons!
Posted by: Tony.T | 25 February 2005 at 12:24
PS: You care. I know you do.
Posted by: Tony.T | 25 February 2005 at 12:27
"It's about Time" had a great theme song.
I'd find time from my chores to watch the most bogus episode of that over "Lost" any day.
Posted by: boynton | 25 February 2005 at 16:56
Awful bloody show. Gilligans Island in space.
It's about time,
It's about space,
About strange people in the strangest place.
It's about time,
It's about flight,
Travelin' faster than the speed of light.
About space people and a brave crew,
As through the barrier of time they flew.
Pass the Roman Senators,
Pass an armored knight,
Pass the firing Minutemen,
To this modern site.
It's about time for you and me
To meet these people of amazing feats.
It's about two astronauts and how they educate
A pre-historic woman and her pre-historic mate.
It's about time
It's about space
About strange people in the strangest place.
They will be here
With all of us
Dodging a taxi, a car, a bus.
Where will they go
What will they do
In this strange place where everything is new.
Will they manage to survive
Watch each week and see.
Will they get accustomed to the Twentieth Century.
It's about time
For our good byes
To all our pre-historic gals and guys.
And now,
It's About Time
It's About Time
It's About Time
It's About Time!
Posted by: Tony.T | 25 February 2005 at 18:04
"It's about two astronauts and how they educate
A pre-historic woman and her pre-historic mate"
I like that genre of TV lyric.
They have to explain the premise in the song in case the casual viewer doesn't get it.
Almost post-modern in its reflexivity ;)
I can't remember watching the show. Just singing the song
I suspect Lost doesn't have a catchy tune.
Posted by: boynton | 25 February 2005 at 18:31
My reflexivity compels me to shrug when I see the two words, post and modern.
I don't think Lost even has a theme. It just starts, has ads and finishes.
I'm a bit like you on IAT. I barely remember the show except to know it was tosh, but I've remembered the theme, like, forever.
What's this stupid song? The main guy's been in the news of late.
Don't go to bed, with no price on your head
No, no, don't do it.
Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time,
Yeah, don't do it.
And keep your eye on the sparrow.
When the going gets narrow.
Don't do it, don't do it.
Where can I go where the cold winds don't blow,
Now.
Well, well, well.
Posted by: Tony.T | 25 February 2005 at 18:44
Well it's not a Nike commercial.
The Patty Duke show?
Posted by: boynton | 25 February 2005 at 19:25
Or an A-Dee-Dass one. And no, it's not Duke (topical lately) it's Beretta. Also topical.
Duke blew his own head off, Beretta blew his wife's head off.
Posted by: Tony.T | 25 February 2005 at 21:44
My brother used to taunt me with: "Its about time, it's about space, it's about time I slapped your face!" and then try to slap me. He was a very gentle and caring brother.
I don't recognise the tune. Possibly your clue hints at "The Jackson Five"! (the first show I ever saw on colour tv) and the lyrics would be pertinent right about now.
Posted by: pat | 25 February 2005 at 21:46
Pat, when you consider It's About Time was only on for about twenty-five shows when I was less than ten, it's amazing how it's theme song has stuck in my mind. Especially considering I never liked the show.
I've never seen it in re-run, either.
Posted by: Tony.T | 25 February 2005 at 21:50
As for tunes getting stuck in the head on constant repeat, I have plenty. When I was a kid it was "George, george, george of the jungle, watch out for that tree ahhhhh!", and "Go go gophers...", "I am tha Hunta" etc ad infinitum. I still find myself mentally going through them out of the blue.
The tune I didn't recognise and thought may be from the Jackson 5 show was the "Don't go to bed, with no price on your head" - any more hints?
Posted by: pat | 25 February 2005 at 22:53
Some very catchy stuff there' Pat. Like the Hunta, too.
Were you ever subjected to the hypnotic notes of The Nutty Squirrels?
That Don't Go To Bed on was the one from Berreta. Like I say, I never knew it had a song. Only a bird.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 February 2005 at 12:21
Was 'its about time' aimed at a kiddie audience ? Seems VERY unbelievable now. Tony, you obviously have never caught the 'fastest wheelchair along the beach' competition over here- those things can MOVE mate.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 26 February 2005 at 20:54
Their target was the Gilligan's Island audience. So, yes, they aimed it at very small kiddies, indeed.
Posted by: Tony.T | 27 February 2005 at 13:03