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Righto. Off to school, then. There are some poor kids need mentoring. A role model, in fact.

"To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support group". I got 10 out of 20.

I only got six. I'll have to try harder.

You people are soft. Rich, I hope you counted that time you hit me for 100 slides to play the pokies at the Bourbon. That's a pain that's never receded.

On a bright note, there are now 14 kids who are better human beings for my guidance.

Well, 13. Best not count the drooling lost-cause in the front row.

Still cant get over the idea of you as a teacher. Hope your counting that time at Leederville Oval with the black-fellas among those four visits to the quack.

Nothing wrong with the questions just the yardstick needs to be adjusted to be relevant to Australia. ie if you answered yes to only sixteen of these questions GET BACK TO THAT PUB AND DRINK ANOTHER MIDDIE!

Who is General High Jinks?
An old drinking buddy?

Deej, that incident falls under the umbrella of general high-jinks. Seeing as how no blood was spilt and I only got a black-eye.

They're "pots" down here in Braxtoria, Addy. None of your strange northern "middie" talk please. But. Ay.

Boynty: General High Jinks was a very naughty boy. He cashed in his commission, though, and does things he never did before. New things. Like driving on Saturday nights.

Didn't know you were back on the turps, Tone.

But I'm not. Hmmm. I'd better have another read of my post, make sure I conveyed the message accurately.

"I make you skip whitey!"

Dunno why the crazy bastard hit me! It wasn't me pinched his girlfriend. Pity I never saw the punch coming or I would have done what Patto did and hit him with the slab.

Oh well, just not quick enough on the day.

Yaaarrrgh yaaa fuckkkin carzzzzz...... I'll fight the lot of yer bloooorrrgh.......fuckin carnzzzz...................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............'ooo stole me fuckin Nikes? I'll farkin satb you all.......zzzzzzzzzzz.......

I don't reckon on my chances of laying off the booze Tony- sometimes it's the only way to understand this crazy bloody planet of ours. Two whole years ? Really ?

Beer does not make you fat. It makes you lean . . . against bars, poles and tables.

Don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.

In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria.

Reality is an illusion created by the lack of alcohol.

Why are there more old drunks than old doctors?

and finally for you Tony,
Drink and the world drinks with you. Swear off and you drink alone.

Don't worry, CB. I get by; I swear alone.

And Christ, that vampire filck was rubbish! Just what the hell has happened to John Carpenter? He used to be good, dammit!

Glad you've held the line there for 2 yrs now Tony.

I only got a pathetic 7 of those but I just can't recall how I would have answered in my student days...

Up until 2 years ago, I thought my student days were still with me.

Still do, if the truth be told. Although, I'm listening to a lot of classical music lately. Don't think I would have done much of that in the old days.

I must be getting old.

Am proud (well ... sort of) to say that I high scored. Also score highly (> 97 %) on a similar bulls**t test by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. God, Jeebus & also Cthulu preserve us from the Attack of the Undead Puritans.

That's the ticket, SM. Someone needs to pick up the slack.

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