"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture."
-- Frank Zappa
Deep. Makes me wonder what Frank Lloyd Wright thought about Lord Of The Dance. All those svelte young colleens prancing about in lines and squares. Quite the rake was Wright; I'm tipping he approved. Really though, LOTD is stunningly stupid. Not sure what Zappa would have made of it, either. Probably something lewd, "Do those legs go all the way up THERE, Maureeeeeeeen?" I guess we'll never know, though. Zappa's dead; his prostate swelled up bigger than a tennis ball. But I digress.
Via Boynton and Mick Hartley, comes this interesting post; The Best Music Scribing Awards, 2004.
Jason Gross at Rockcritics has written about where he thinks music writing is headed. What with the internet and blogs and zines and their like. He's also collected a pile of music articles. Some are good, some not so good and some are utter twaddle. Unfortunately, many aren't at the relevant links anymore. I disinterred most of them, though. Just copy the writer's name and the article's title into Google and nearly all of them pop up somewhere on the net.
Gross got stuck into Nick Hornby who had one in the NY Times. Sure, you can accuse him of Fogeyism, but for obvious reasons it made me reflect on the scheme of things. Music and age wise, that is.
It's hard not to think about one's age and how it relates to rock music. I just turned 47, and with each passing year it becomes harder not to wonder whether I should be listening to something that is still thought of as more age appropriate — jazz, folk, classical, opera, funeral marches, the usual suspects. You've heard the arguments a million times: most rock music is made by the young, for the young, about being young, and if you're not young and you still listen to it, then you should be ashamed of yourself. And finally I've worked out my response to all that: I mostly agree with the description, even though it's crude, and makes no effort to address the recent, mainly excellent work of Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Robert Plant, Mr. Springsteen et al. The conclusion, however, makes no sense to me any more.
Go and have a read of some of the others. Bob Lefsetz of Music Thoughts wrote a couple I particularly liked. One on his Favourite Who Tracks, the other on the criminally under-rated Led Zeppelin II.
By the way, just in case you think Frank Zappa a bit of a crank; would a crank say something this profound?
"You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream."
I'm sure you'll agree; it's hard to argue with that.
Hey! Look here. It's the Led Zep II piece.
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What is the best track on "Led Zeppelin II"?
"II" is overlooked these days. Overshadowed by IV and "Houses Of The Holy" even. Ain't that typical. Band builds, new fans are made, and the classic early albums are forgotten. Kinda like Bruce. "The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle" is better than anything he did after 1978, but you almost never hear it mentioned, never see it referenced.
I said almost forever that the first Led Zeppelin album was both my favorite and the best.
The first album is an outgrowth of the English blues world. Whereas thereafter, the band forged their own sound. The first album was cut when the band still had something to prove, when it wasn't assured that they'd be the second biggest rock band of all time.
Yes, no one can dispute that the Beatles are king.
But all these years later, we can say that Zeppelin is bigger than the Stones.
Oh, the Stones TOLD us they were great. Still do. But they haven't lived up to the moniker "World's Greatest Rock & Roll Band" in EONS! Furthermore, if you've ever seen them, you know they're not that great live. They might lock on for half an hour or so, but the rest...
Used to be that they were just uneven. Today, the whole production seems rushed, done in order to get the people outside to buy merchandise, to get the check.
Then again, they had that great run. From "Beggar's" through "Exile On Main Street".
But somehow, they've been forgotten.
Oh, you hear the sixties singles on the radio, in bars, but if you hear something from "Exile", it's SHOCKING! Hell, one no longer even hears "Brown Sugar", that seventies Friday night special.
Whereas one hears seemingly ALL of Zeppelin ALL the time.
Oh, I'm overstating. And contradicting my point about the earlier stuff being overlooked. But really, talk to the nascent Zeppelin fan. The kid under twenty. He knows ALL the material. He might focus on one album, but he knows EVERYTHING!
But this same kid would be SHOCKED to learn that the Zeppelin album played MOST in the band's heyday was "II".
Oh, you heard "D'Yer Mak'er" on the radio INCESSANTLY!
But "Dancing Days" was a rare event. Not to mention "No Quarter" or "The Rain Song".
And yes, you'd hear "Stairway To Heaven" on the radio in the seventies. And "Black Dog" and "Rock and Roll". But not "Battle Of Evermore". Rarely "Going To California". Only intermittently "When The Levee Breaks".
But every single track on "Led Zeppelin II" was played to DEATH on FM radio in the seventies. To the point where to hear the album was to WINCE!
Hell, I remember the second night I got stoned. I'd heard that ANYTHING on dope was great. But "Led Zeppelin II" still seemed overplayed.
But that was 1970. Now radio focuses on the later material. It's time to make a stand. "Led Zeppelin II" was one of those albums that was overplayed because it was SO DAMN GOOD!
Really, it was not like today. In October '69, EVERY party you went to, seemingly EVERYWHERE you went, "Led Zeppelin II" was spinning in the background.
And it was kind of like Norah Jones.
No, not really.
The similarity was there was no PRESS BUILD-UP! No HYPE!
But the first Zeppelin album was NOWHERE near as big as Norah Jones' debut.
It's just that people just KNEW! The underground had spread the word. I bought "Led Zeppelin II" the day it came out. I had it to myself DAYS before even the NERDS had laid their hands on it.
I used to say if I never heard "Led Zeppelin II" again in my LIFE, that would be okay. Hell, I could sing EVERY lick. Kind of like going to McDonald's. I don't HAVE to go. Just sitting here I can taste the Quarter Pounder, the fries.
But when I go to McDonald's today, I'm disappointed.
Whereas when I hear "Led Zeppelin II", I'm MESMERIZED!
All these years later, it's like running into a camp friend. Someone who knows you better than anybody. Who you shared good times with. Whom you can still relate to.
Now unlike today's albums, there was NOT ONE loser track on "Led Zeppelin II". But, the question arises, which song is the BEST!
So, in reverse order...
9. "Moby Dick"
Oh, it's not that I HATE it. It's just that this song and "Toad" are responsible for all the twenty minute drum solos we had to sit through back in the day.
The riff is good. Jimmy shines. But, isn't it all just an excuse to let Bonzo work out?
And Bonzo was the most powerful drummer of all time. But not the most innovative.
Not superfluous, but on such a stellar album, some track has to be the worst, and this is it.
8. "The Lemon Song"
As time went on, Robert became a bit more subtle. But, even as a TEENAGER the lemon-squeezing reference seemed positively juvenile. Okay, you're a big rich rock star, getting sexual favors morning, noon and night. Come up with a better metaphor, sing something different.
Although pleasant today, this track was really grinding by time 1970 rolled around. Yet, we had to hear it YEAR after YEAR!
7. "Bring It On Home"
Great album closer. Usually the final track was a dirge, an album faded out. But this song had a rambling sense. Made you want to flip the album over and start playing it again.
6. "Whole Lotta Love"
So, it's got a RIFF! That's not enough to make it number one on this album. Great tonality in Jimmy's guitar. Great the way he slid down the strings in the chorus.
An unmemorable break, which was shortened on the single.
Just too fucking obvious. Especially after the first album.
Within weeks of release, I pushed the button on this whenever it came over the radio. Whereas there was a brief period there where I'd tune out "Stairway To Heaven", but most times I let it play out. To hear Jimmy's controlled guitar freak-out if nothing else.
5. "Heartbreaker"
Okay, now we're talking. This is a better riff than "Whole Lotta Love". More complicated, however simple it is, more satisfying. It's like a POGO
STICK, jumping through the speakers.
And Robert's less ARROGANT!
And what Jimmy throws around in between the riffs... It's tracks like these that built his career. He was a one man band. He didn't need another player on stage with him.
And speaking of breaks. THIS is memorable in a way that the one in "Whole Lotta Love" is just NOT! Every American male knows every lick, every NUANCE!
And the lyrics are quintessential.
"Well, it's been ten years and maybe more since I first set eyes on you The best years of my life gone by, here I am alone and blue Some people cry and some people die by the wicked ways of love But I'll just keep on rollin' along with the grace of the Lord above"
Unlike the hip-hoppers, Zeppelin didn't get everything they wanted. That's not the blues TRADITION!
Oh, in real life, they had it pretty good. But in the MUSIC! They weren't always the WINNERS! Therefore, the listener could relate. If you don't have a heartbreaker in your past, you're a eunuch.
But, unlike you, Zeppelin didn't get stuck. Hell, if YOU won't put out, I'll just ramble down the road til I find somebody else who WILL! I'm not going to let you ruin my LIFE!
4. "What Is And What Should Never Be"
One could argue quite heavily that "Heartbreaker" eclipses this. Hell, there's more thrown IN!
Then again, it's the quiet subtlety that is "What Is And What Should Never Be"'s magic.
Robert just WHISPERS! He makes your panties wet.
But then, surprisingly, Bonzo comes in and the band starts to rock, Robert starts to SQUEAL!
But then they bring the whole thing back down again. You don't have to be SCARED of Robert, he's just INTO IT!
Still, what MAKES this track is the instrumental. THIS is most akin to the very first album. Jimmy working out. Inventing heavy metal riffs in between his lead picking.
And then, after Robert comes back in, does his whole act all over again, comes the most famous part of the song, the most famous part of "Led Zeppelin II"!
Robert finishes oohing and then...
Somebody starts lighting FIRECRACKERS!
They go from speaker to speaker!
Bonzo hits the cymbals. Robert starts to scream. Yet STILL, Jimmy's guitar is playing the riff, going from SPEAKER TO SPEAKER! This is the part you LIVED FOR! Subtle, off the beaten track, not part of the hit, but SO SATISFYING!!!
THIS is Led Zeppelin. Not simple, but complicated. More than one element in the pot. A witches' brew of music. Aleister Crowley ALCHEMY!
3. "Living Loving Maid (She's Just A Woman)"
This track is almost completely forgotten. But, it was my first favorite on the album.
What a great riff. The part where Robert sings "Livin', lovin', she's just a woman".
This was the album's "Communication Breakdown".
"Whole Lotta Love" was not the equal of the first album's first side opener, "Good Times Bad Times". But this lived up to the second side screamer.
Oh, you might think it's DISPOSABLE! But the fact that it doesn't shoot for the STARS, the fact that everything's compact, nobody overdoes it, yet
everybody demonstrates their greatness is what endears me to the track.
If you don't agree, FUCK YOU!
2. "Ramble On"
Zeppelin didn't go acoustic for an MTV show. Didn't do it to show their chops. It was part of who they WERE!
When Jimmy lays into that groove, you can just see him sitting on a stool playing. This is driving late at night music. Or lying in the dark with your girlfriend music. The two of you on the couch. Deciding to sleep together for the very first time.
But the piece de resistance is John Paul Jones' bass line. Jimmy's just locked into a groove. John Paul Jones's bass is a ping pong ball, not just
laying down the bottom, but playing its own MELODY!
And then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!
This is the signature Led Zeppelin sound. Used throughout their career. They're just lazing along acoustically, and then they EXPLODE ELECTRICALLY!
Used to great effect in my favorite Zeppelin track, "Ten Years Gone". Copied perfectly by Boston in "Foreplay/Long Time".
And then there's that middle part. With the synthesizer-sounding guitar.
"Ramble On" is the bridge from what came before to what is on the horizon. From the first album to "III", "Houses Of The Holy" and beyond.
I haven't heard anything this innovative on the hit parade in YEARS!
This is the one song I NEVER burned out on on this album. It's both warm and heavy. Subtle and then in your face. A folk rocker and then a full-on metal thrasher. And the closing passage, with the multiple vocals. This built Robert's rep.
But not as much as...
1. "Thank You"
Oh, don't wince. Don't give me shit because it's the one Zeppelin song all the girls liked. Yes, one can say it's wimpy. But really, it's NOT! It's not phony hair band cutting a power ballad to get on the radio. Hell, this was never a single. Never the big radio track.
But you got it on the very first listen.
The opening fade-in. Like the circus coming to town. A bedraggled circus back from entertaining the crusaders. Not preannounced. Suddenly, off in the distance, you hear this sound. You open the window, you lean out, and see men who've been to war, but still believe, who've still got their identities and their CHOPS!
And what makes it so rich, what puts it over the TOP, is John Paul Jones' organ.
Greedy Jimmy and Robert made a mistake reforming without John Paul Jones. His textures were an integral part of Zeppelin's sound. It's easier to replace Bonzo than him.
"If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you"
It doesn't sound like class president to the homecoming queen. It sounds like rocker on the endless road pledging fealty to his fair maiden back home, in England.
"Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by My love is strong, with you there is no wrong Together we shall go until we die, my, my, my An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look...see"
That's us men. We're ENTHRALLED with you. We're POSSESSED by you.
Women don't understand their power. If your man isn't positively MESMERIZED by you, he's the wrong one. You're so EXOTIC! With different equipment. Different smells. And a way of allowing us to throw down our warrior costumes and just be real.
If ROBERT can be sensitive, then we can be too.
Today's acts are one-dimensional. They're not VULNERABLE!
But we are.
And when everybody comes in and sings the above chorus, it seems cheesy. But it's NOT! It's all men in unison, coming together to pledge their honor to womankind.
"Thank You" is a spell. You're not going to say "bitch" or "ho" while it spins.
It's a safe zone. The Switzerland of rock tracks.
And the way it ENDS! With the Pied Piper organ fading off into the distance, then being gone completely and RETURNING!
They're just passing through. You heard them coming. They were here for a while, now they're gone.
What was THAT? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???
That's what people ALL OVER AMERICA said.
They heard "Thank You" and they wanted to get CLOSER!
Do you want to get closer to today's music/musicians?
Are you KIDDING? You're already TOO CLOSE! They're UBIQUITOUS!
And the music isn't adventurous, rather it's FORMULAIC! It's not mysterious, rather PAINT-BY-NUMBERS!
Zeppelin became an arena band OVERNIGHT!
You didn't debate going. The only question was COULD YOU GET A TICKET!
And it wasn't like Madonna. One didn't go for the PRODUCTION!
One just went to see Robert open his shirt and hold the mic and WAIL!
And Jimmy stand off to the side, throwing off riffs, until he was somehow POSSESSED and started extracting notes from the guitar it didn't know it had inside.
Zeppelin turned the toolkit inside out. It was a MAGICIAN'S toolkit. They pulled out MORE than it could hold. They took the rudimentary equipment, the bass, drums, guitar and organ, and turned it into something MORE! They jetted into hyperspace in a way that Han Solo could only DREAM OF!
And now we're left with these tablets of stone. Our own personal Stonehenge.
We know Robert and Jimmy are mortal. Hell, one could see Mr. Plant at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony.
But sometime soon, they're going to be gone.
But their music will still be here.
And people will wonder. How did humans create this?
"Led Zeppelin II" is a masterpiece. To say that you like another Zeppelin album better is not to denigrate it. "Led Zeppelin II" fired on all cylinders, achieved its goal. It couldn't have been improved. If you want to know what the fall of '69 was like, just play it. You'll see no nods to the system, just musicians, doing their best to PLAY, to lay down their innermost thoughts, their SKILLS on tape.
Posted by: Tony.T | 17 January 2005 at 13:41
This is a fine piece of penmanship on Zappa. I have not been able to take him seriously since reading it.
Posted by: SB | 17 January 2005 at 14:29
halfway through reading this but I have to ask: "All these years later, it's like running into a camp friend." What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Posted by: pat | 17 January 2005 at 18:03
What a feverish bombastic blast that was. I get the impression Bob Lefsetz must have dropped a tub of acid at the same time he first listened to Led Zep II and he's still coming down. He probably wrote this in some asylum courtyard hallucinating cavalry charges at sunrise.
He certainly has gender identification issues: "Robert just WHISPERS! He makes your panties wet." !!!!? Is he a she-male perchance?
But I agree, Led ZepII is far better than III or IV - though topped by Physical Graffiti. Great write up that evokes a sense of the zeitgeist of late 60's rock.
Spot on re. Stones. They are best characterised as they were on the Simpsons performing in their "Steel-Wheelchair Show." Overrated.
I wouldn't seperate Ramble On , Moby Dick and Bring it on Home: they thimply mutht be played together!
Posted by: pat | 17 January 2005 at 19:33
What's the ugliest part of your body?
What's the ugliest part of your body?
Some say your nose, some say your toes
I think it's your mind.
Posted by: e staines | 17 January 2005 at 21:04
Are we in agreement on matters musical for once, Tony? Zappa was a god among men, and I will endeavour to work those quotes into everyday converstion until someone hits me and tells me to shut the fuck up.
Posted by: hungbunny | 18 January 2005 at 06:49
Hey, there's nothing wrong with jazz. "Jazz isn't dead...it just smells funny," as the man with the nose once said.
Posted by: suzy creamcheese | 18 January 2005 at 12:52
"Rock Journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read"
Frank Zappa - legend.
Posted by: TimT | 18 January 2005 at 14:33
Even if he did call his daughter Moon Unit.
Posted by: TimT | 18 January 2005 at 14:34
Does anyone remember him running for president of the US? There were these great bumper stickers reading "Don't blame me I voted for Zappa." My relentless research (i.e. google) can't substantiate this, alas.
Posted by: vague | 18 January 2005 at 15:34
Zappa did some really good stuff, but he should have done more. He had talent to burn, but too many albums were undered my whelms.
Got plenty of chuckles out of Overnight Sensation and love Joes Garage, though. We're Only In It For The Money goes pretty well, too.
PS: His other kid was called Dweezil.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 January 2005 at 18:51
What is it about music writers that makes them write such wank? They're worse than film writers.
Posted by: James Russell | 18 January 2005 at 19:46
Agreed, James. Some of it is absolutely frightful. They all seem to need to compete against each other for the wankerest words. Three I hate a lot are excoriating, searing and gorgeous.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 January 2005 at 19:53
Agreed, Tony ... about the Zappa output, that is. (Also agreed about Rock critics and music critics in general).
I've got about six Zappa albums, and only one of them is really worth it (Hot Rats). He seems to have gone through a godawful improvisational jazz period at some stage in his life, and I seem to have all of those godawful improvisational jazz albums clogging up by CD cabinet.
Posted by: TimT | 18 January 2005 at 21:02
I'm pretty sure Hot Rats was the first I ever got. Never really got into it. Maybe I was too young or something.
I bought most of them because of the cover art; Weasels Ripped My Flesh = Classic.
But there's a lot of crud in his discography.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 January 2005 at 21:19
By the way.
I think Sheik Yerbouti was the first time I ever saw AND got a pun. In fact, it's when I first understood what a pun was.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 January 2005 at 21:21