If this Absolutely Superb list at the BBC is anything to go by, Enoch Powell might have been on to something.
100 things we didn't know this time last year
1. Street brawlers sometimes arm themselves with potato peelers, according to the Home Office, which wants to make them banned weapons.
Someone call The Peelers.
There's a giant Gherkin, too. Speaking of Gherkins, who said this?
"A very large number of the lunatics in our asylums have made themselves ill by indulging in this vice although at one time they were sensible cheery boys like you."
Sorta reminds me of the "list of weird stories that now occur with such frequency that they are NO LONGER WEIRD".
Sorta.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 04 January 2005 at 15:50
Excellent list, Big.
Along the same lines as No.1, I knew a girl whose telephone number was one different to a radio station.
Ie: 9898-9898 was 9898-9897
She got so many wrong numbers, she had to change her own number.
Posted by: Tony.T | 04 January 2005 at 15:54
find out who said ..
"A very large number of the lunatics in our asylums have made themselves ill by indulging in this vice although at one time they were sensible cheery boys like you."
Sorta reminds me of this hilarious pamphlet from France, 1844.
More than sorta, in fact.
("He was young and handsome - his mother's hope".)
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 04 January 2005 at 16:47
Well may you snicker Biggie, but I can sense from your postings that you (or at least part of you) is in the grip of this hideous vice.
Posted by: SB | 04 January 2005 at 19:54
Judging from those pictures I think I'd rather be addicted to smack.
Posted by: Tony.T | 04 January 2005 at 19:59
And before someone jumps in.
Not smacking away.
Posted by: Tony.T | 04 January 2005 at 20:01
"grip"!
Love yer work, SB.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 04 January 2005 at 20:17
Lord Baden-Powell said it. Remember the Boy Scouts' motto, "Be Prepickled". Or, as we used to say during my very short and ill-fated experience in that particular organisation, "The Boy scouts and the Girl guides." And I'm sure there's no truth to the rumour that the Scouts' unofficial motto was "You won't go mad if someone else does it to you."
Ooh! and look what I accidently stumbled across while googling "malarial mosquito eradication schemes".
"Be prepared! That's the Boy Scout's marching song,
Be prepared! As through life you march along.
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well,
Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell.
Be prepared! To hide that pack of cigarettes,
Don't make book if you cannot cover bets.
Keep those reefers hidden where you're sure
That they will not be found
And be careful not to smoke them
When the scoutmaster's around
For he only will insist that it be shared.
Be prepared!
Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed,
Be prepared! And be clean in word and deed.
Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice,
Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
Be prepared! And be careful not to do
Your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
If you're looking for adventure of a
new and different kind,
And you come across a Girl Scout who is
similarly inclined,
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared.
Be prepared!"
- Tom Lehrer
Posted by: Nabakov | 04 January 2005 at 22:38
Nab, somehow I don't see you as a "sensible cheery boy" playing with clove-hitches and woggles.
Researching "malarial mosquito eradication schemes" sounds awfully like fun. Not sure how it gets you to Tom Lehrer, though.
Posted by: Tony.T | 05 January 2005 at 12:20