RANDUMB BREATH TEST

Yesterday on Sydney's M5 motorway, I was pulled over for a random breath-test. Brandishing his tester in front of my face, a cheery copper said "Count to ten, Sir." Thinking he meant I should blow into the breathalizer for ten seconds, I leant forward to blow but couldn't find the nozzle to blow into. Instead I slobbered all over what looked like a mobile phone. "You only need to speak to them," he laughed; pulling out a cloth.

Comments

[Darlene]

Pure class.

[Tony.T]

ALL class.

[boynton]

My labrador leaned forward from the back seat to take the test once on Studley Park Road. Well - he amost did. We all laughed. His slobber was proably under .05.

[Tony.T]

The cop should have made him "Walkies The White Line".

[Ferombah Hynde]

Let us not have any wowsers tut-tutting this, for it is simply the truth, without pride or shame.

I have driven while over the legal BAC limit on well over 1000 occasions and have not been caught.

[Tony.T]

... touch wood.

[Pedro the Ignorant]

A good technicolour yawn on the thing would have enlivened proceedings.

[AdventureGirl]

Next time you get pulled over for one of those I want you to promise me you'll say somethinglike this...

'Hello Occifer! I'm not under the affluence of incohol! Actually, I haven't had a c*** all day drinkstable'

See how you go.

I have bail money to lend you.

[Brett Pee]

"count to ten,sir". This is usually the test you have to take to BECOME a traffic cop.

[Nabakov]

But if you'd taken a big draw and then passed it onto yer passengers, they'd have busted you for driving under the weed.

[Tony.T]

Now I'm off the sauce, I go out of my way to be pulled over. I get upset when cops flag me on.

PS: Last night I drove all the way back to Richmond from Hampton without realising my headlights were dead. I'm a rebel!

[Alessandra]

too funny...

Only funnier story about not knowing how certain gadgets work was a story about an American woman who went to Japan, where they have these frightening auto-computerized toilets, full of buttons and alien-spaceship looking panels...

[Tony.T]

That can ONLY end in pain, Alessandra. Either that, or she tried to go to the toilet in a phone booth.

[Alessandra]

actually, it´s great stand-up comedy material - the only pain is how hard you laugh about the whole thing...

Here, I found a blog that pokes a little fun at the Japanese toilet.

http://ballz.ababa.net/uninvited/toilets.htm

wouldn´t be surprised if it was Microsoft Windows for Toilets running the computer part... ;-)

[vague]

Seattle has some similarly scary toilets--
see here

[Alessandra]

you see... Seattle -> Microsoft...

it´s toilet territory alright...:-)

and to my joy, I did read recently that Microsoft had huge earnings again this year, even more I think than before...

[Tony.T]

There's a strange toilet around the corner from me. It's on a piece of footpath that juts out into a road; right where the road used to run! What's more, it's a busy intersection and you've got to take special care to drive around the booth.

It always struck me that someone availing themselves of the facilities would be mighty unchuffed to be interrupted up by a careless driver.

And, of course, like those space-age affairs in Vague's link, it's very visible. I always want to see someone come out still pulling up their pants and with a newspaper under their arm; just like at home.