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Imagine getting dragged off to your death with your pants around your ankles and a shitty ass.

What a dignified way to go.

Mind you, it's a better way to go than being surrounded by a howling mob of ferocious Baboons who want nothing more than you ripped to pieces. Slowly.

Hey, go easy on Oprah and her family, Brett.

Hopefully that's how the lawyer went, too. I'd like to see him scream at the cat for an injunction.

Splatterleopard!

WTG big pussycats!

I went trekking in Java a few years ago and learned from the locals that a couple of kids had been eaten the previous month, by Leopards.

Tigers are much more dangerous, but much rarer- Leopards are the most hardy and adaptable big cat so they've survived better where the 2 co-exist.

THe locals in Java then told me of a tourist whose stomach had been bitten out by a Rhino (Javan rhino's have tiny horns, but huge teeth- not so popular with the ladies!), which was even more gruesome...

Yep, leopards, from I've read and heard, really enjoy stalking primates. Lions, cougars, pumas, cheetahs, etc ambush and then run 'em down and grab the throat or nose for slow strangulation. Leopards pounce from behind and bite down through the top of the skull, a technique they pioneered on baboons and like to practice on us 'cos we give 'em less furballs. (Check out "The Red Hourglass: Lives of the Predators" by Gordon Grice. An amazing book.)

Meanwhile, the 5000 surviving tigers all have exclusive marketing deals with National Geographic, the Discovery Channel and David Attenborough.

"I'm not taking down that chital until my agent calls. Also, the light's not quite right yet. Let's wait until magic hour OK? Hang on, that's my phone."

"The locals in Java then told me of a tourist whose stomach had been bitten out by a Rhino (Javan rhino's have tiny horns, but huge teeth- not so popular with the ladies!), which was even more gruesome..."

Meh. I eat Javan rhinos for breakfast.

I bring you the smaller, insanely vicious, Vietnamese sub species.

Discovered by Western scientists in 1999, if ya don't mind.

A freaking swamp rhino remained undiscovered all that time?!!

When those two species of antelope got discovered in Vietnam in the mid 1990s, I remember thinking to myself how amazing it is to read about the last large mammals ever to be discovered.

Last. Ones. Evah.

To be perfectly honest, I've always been rather disappointed we don't have our very own vicious cat beasties. It would make camping many times more interesting. Add some zest to the whole outdoors thing.

Any chance Koalas could muscle up. C'mon you fat, gay lay-a-bouts, how about chomping a few tourists.

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