THE THREE AHHRRS

Reading, riting ... running?

Speaking of things educational. The other day I was supervising a test when one of the students asked me to show him where, exactly, on the formula sheet were the relevant formulas. We have a generic sheet showing all the formulae from the course.

I told him not to be stupid. Of course I couldn't show him where they were, he was supposed to know them and if he was a little hazy, then he'd recognize them when he saw them. He obviously didn't know them. Dumb kid!

About half an our later, after I'd finished the crossword, I picked up the test-paper for a casual run-through and guess what? That's right, no formulae.

It wouldn't have made any difference, mind you, the kid who asked is as dumb as a packet of Coco-Pops, but now I've got something of a dilemma. I can't very well fail everyone who get's a poor mark, nor can I just pass the lot. Or can I? Should I just apply the Bell Curve?

I usually just pass the kids I like, but I think the ice is a little thin this time round, so what do you reckon? What should I do?

Comments

[Rob de Santos]

You can always pull out that wonderful device known as "special credit". :-) All those below the line can save their behinds by doing it. This, at least, still eliminates the wankers who don't care.

[Tony.T]

"Special credits" I save for pretty girl students.

[Adam 1.0]

Shock revelations. I can see articles in the Age education section.

[Nabakov]

If he's gonna be the guy rewired my house someday, I say don't let him out until he knows what he's doing, or if he's a truly hopeless case, suggest another career path - perhaps in merchant banking.

[Tony.T]

Wiring houses? I'm not expecting him to reach those heights, Nab.

He's a good kid, but he'd be lucky to find the right end of a shovel to dig a hole in your front yard. No, that's unfair, he'd only prod a few holes before he realised something was wrong.

Adam, The Age Ed wouldn't stoop to cover my classes. They're more interested in "positive outcomes".

[SB]

Reward any signs of intelligent life. Be generous in giving the benefit of the doubt to those that might possiby be sentient, and punish the terminally stupid.

[Tony.T]

Just between you, me amd the internet, SB, I encourage the worst ones to go to sleep. At least then they're not disturbing two kids on average who want to learn something.

Curses on the person who invented Red Bull and Vee.

[Adsy]

Just say to them all, "I'm sorry but I am going to have to fail you all because I've found you have all cheated"...

... the ones who ark up pass, and the ones who keep their mouths shut fail, cos they probably did cheat in the first place...

[Tony.T]

It's a given they cheat, it's just a case of how badly.

And the sad part is, the ones who fail would still do so if you put a cheat sheet on the table in front of them.

[SB]

Tony, The hyperactives must be a lot of fun, brightening up the classroom with their wit and charm.

[Tony.T]

Shit and harm, more like.

Actually it occurs to me I'm painting a pretty grim picture. Just thinking, is all.

[Brett Pee]

Actually, I was once told by a Teacho that i was as dumb as horse shit, but i proved them wrong to qualify in Electronics- or did i ? I might go back and re-arrange the wiring in this anonymous teachers house. Sorry Mr Carmicheal in Bunbury.

[vague]

I hate to be such a cynic, but I almost have to agree with Adsy. Its amazing how many plagiarists I caught back in my days of teaching freshman composition. All I had to do was google a sentence, and lo! and behold, it had previously been published in, say, Time magazine. Obviously, the plagiarists were not the brightest bulbs. Even if they had written the papers themselves, they were so awkwardly cobbled together (from different other writers' work!) that the essays were barely intelligible and wouldn't have earned a good grade in the first place.

Anyway, I am a firm beliver in failing those who can't do the work. Make them keep at it until they can, or let them get jobs in banks, as Nabakov suggests. I can say from experience, banking does not require any degree of competence in math.

[Adsy]

If its a given they cheat, I suggest they take a leaf out of our old friend Murali's book. Doesn't the defence go something like "Currently according to the rules I cheat but the rules are so horribly out of date and incorrect that everyone else must be cheating also, even if no one really thinks they are. I'm just the unlucky one to be caught out. Please Mr Teacher, change the rules so these others can be caught but at the same time make me an example that rules are made to be broken..."

...or something like that.

[Tony.T]

Apparently this blog's big in Bunbury, Brett. Better keep your head down in Coles.

Fortunately, Vague, I teach maths, etc, we don't have essays and the like. This means it's harder for kids to cheat because I set a new test for each class. If they don't know how to do the problems, they're stuffed.

However, when I have to set homeworks, prac and assignments, it's only the odd few students who haven't just looked at one smart guy's work. It's pathetic that they think they're putting one over you.

Don't worry, Adsy. They try all sorts of lurks, but I always manage to catch the cheats with a new set of questions when they least expect it.

On the whole, the main problem is that they don't have to repeat the subject, they only have to do what's called a "re-sit". That's much more formula and they can keep on doing it until they pass, no matter how little about the actual subject they know.

It's a bull-shit system, actually.

[Adam 1.0]

You would have loved me as a student. I knew fuck all about maths so I just sat there reading soccer magazines for two years (9/10) while the rest of the class rioted.

[hungbunny]

You should never pass a kid you like. On the contrary, you should stop, give them your phone number, and tell them to give you a call when they're 16.

[a guy in pajamas]

Fail 'em all, let the re-sit sort 'em out.

[Big Ramifications]

"About half an our later, after I'd finished the crossword, I picked up the test-paper for a casual run-through and guess what? That's right, no formulae."

I read that to mean there were no formulas on the "formula sheet." The formulas were inadvertently left out.

"I've got something of a dilemma. I can't very well fail everyone who get's a poor mark, nor can I just pass the lot. Or can I?"

If my statement above is true, then yes, you do have a dilemma. Were the kiddies expecting a formula sheet? Why didn't some smart Alec put his hand up and say "the formula sheet's missing, Sir" giving you time to nip out and photocopy a batch? Is it a case of "tough cheddar, you should have known the formulas anyway"? That doesn't seem very fair.

Sorry to interrupt your happy discussion… but I just don't get it.

ps: "get's a poor mark" Did you put that in on purpose, TT? Do I win the prize?

[Tony.T]

Adam, you're exactly like me. Although I read footy magazines and memorized stats from footy history. If there'd been a test on first, second, third in the Brownlow, premiership winners through history, VFL, VFA, SANFL and WAFL, I would have blitzed. Sadly non of these was on the HSC exams.

I was a pathetic student and almost totally wasted my dad's money at an expensive school and have been regretting it for years.

Hung, I teach mainly boys over sixteen and none of them are coming withing cooey of my phone number. It's bad enough they know I live in Richmond.

It's very tempting, PJ, but unfortunately that would probably make me look bad, instead of the kiddies.

There was a course formula sheet, Big, but it was missing the formulae directly related to the particular subject. Those were the ones that had been inadvertently left out. I didn't know they'd been left out until it was too late and some students (including the one who asked the question) had already left. That's why I took the attitude he just didn't know his work.

I think I'll end up giving everyone a top marks for the working-out questions and base my assessment on the written-answer questions.

And yes, "get's a poor mark" -- That's a mistake on my part. Big tick. VG.

[Yobbo]

Tony, were all the formalae missing or just one that related to a couple of questions? If the latter, then you could just grade the tests out of 18 questions rather than 20.

If they were all missing then you'd pretty much have to give them another test - if one of the kids arks up then you don't really have any comeback, right?

[Tony.T]

I'm going to grade it from the written answer questions and give them all full marks for the maths questions.