SQUAWK THE TALK

Against India, Spanky Roebuck was critical of Adam Gilchrist after Gilly had chipped Mohammed Kaif for not walking. Now today, other pundits are again critical of Gilchrist for potting Craig McMillan after the Kiwi didn't walk.

They TOTALLY miss the point, of course.

It's all very well for the soft-headed luvvies and addled experts in the commentary and press boxes to start squealing about the rights and wrongs of walking, but out in the middle it's not an issue for debate. Excluding racist taunts and abuse, out in the middle Gilchrist wouldn't have given one tiny toss about debating decorum. Out in the middle Gilchrist was trying to get inside McMillan's head. Put. Him. Off.

In Kaif's case it didn't work.

However, in McMillan's case, it did. The Kiwi scrapper was sucked in big time, bit on Gilchrist's comments and was out LBW next ball. Top work, Gilly.

Tell it walking, Macca. Hit the bricks.

Gilly walks into wall of resistance

NEW ZEALAND have urged Adam Gilchrist to stop forcing his moral crusades upon them after a magnificent Australia victory was followed by a dispute over the spirit of cricket yesterday.

Australia reinforced their status as the super force of world cricket by storming to a brilliant innings and 156-run win at the Gabba to retain the Trans-Tasman trophy as emotions ran high under the strain of a stream of poor decisions by umpires Aleem Dar and Steve Bucknor.

The tourists fell for 76, their lowest total against Australia apart from the 42 and 54 they managed in the first Test between the two nations in 1945-46.

But bad blood simmered when Gilchrist, a renowned walker, and Craig McMillan when the New Zealand batsman, who was playing for his career yesterday, stood his ground after clearly inside-edging a ball to the wicketkeeper off Jason Gillespie.

Comments

[RT]

It would however be much better if Gilly simply made a few surprised faces and said nothing. A sort of silent affirmation that he's doing the right thing by walking. The stupid thing in this instance was Misty Headed Morgan shoke his head immediately almost before they started appealing giving McMillan no time to even think about walking. My 2 yr old godson's a better umpire than Bucknor.

[Tony.T]

Naaa, if he can get under a batsmen's skin without abusing him, and draw him into a debate; well done.

Morgan's lost it. Retire gracefully, old fella.

Same goes for Richie, he looked and sounded like a nutty old geezer during the test.

[Big Ramifications]

Your interesting theory aside TonyT, anyone who has played touch rugby knows how much we rely on the players' honesty to make for a fair game.

It's dead set easy to cheat - if you miss someone, just claim a "shirt tag". Unless it's blatant cheating the ref has to believe you. Over time certain teams and players get reputations as cheats. There's possibly NOTHING more infuriating than playing touch rugby against a bunch of cheats. May as well not show up to the game.

The point I'm trying to make is that not-walking is cheating. In my humble opinion.

With all the slo mo technology and the excellent snickomenter we can CLEARLY tell who is a cheat and who isn't. Not counting the <1% of cases where the batsmen might truly be unsure.

But as Steven Fleming rightly pointed out, Gilly is a pioneer and not everyone will change their spots overnight. I just reckon Gilly might have realised, "gee it's pretty obvious that millions of people in TV land know when we are out, and I'd rather not be known as a wanker who stands his ground." (Take note Justin Langer :) )

I'm worried this post is becoming a rambling mess, so in summary:

1. It is my humble opinion that not-walking is cheating. Probably because I play so much touch rugby - and honesty is a pillar of the game and it's sorta been drilled into me. But I can totally understand if people think differently and I'm not gonna get too cranky about it.

2. Everyone will be walking within 10 years. Either that or the powers-that-be will vest the authority in the 3rd umpy. Maybe that's the way to go.

[Clem Snide]

Martin's breaking down like a machine
Fleming's turning forty shades of green
Styris has no dick
McMillan's shitting bricks
And Marshall didn't bring the Vaseline

Cemon Kiwis cemon, cemon
Cemon Kiwis cemon

Sinclair and Mills are losing sleep
Richardson is dreaming of his sheep
McCullum's dropping sitters
Oram's growing bitter
And Vettori's turning victory to defeat

[Chorus]

[Brett Pee]

Hey, Tony, we have a budding song writer in our midst. Wanna arrange some music to the above ?

[Big Ramifications]

There was a test match maybe 2 years ago (can't remember who against – there's too much test cricket these days!) where Andy Bichel made an extremely voracious appeal for a caught and bowled.

It looked fairly close with the naked eye… but the slo mo replay showed it bounced about half a meter before his hand. It wasn't even a half volley. Now every time I see Andy Bichel I think: cheat. Andy Bichel, you're just a Cheatin' Sharma.

Test players should maybe think of walking in a selfish way! If I was in charge of the Milo or Weet Bix marketing division and had a lazy 50 thou to sign up a cricketer, who would I prefer? Who would the kids look up to? Who would the parents of kids consider a better role model?

I top bloke like Gilly who is as honest as the day is long, or a non-walker such as Justin Langer (who also acts like every LBW decision that goes against him is a travesty)?

With all the technology around, it is very easy to pick the cheats, and maybe cricketers should consider this.

I know this isn't what TonyT is trying to say, but I thought this would be a good spot to vent.

ps: Isn't it funny how in indoor cricket it is perfectly acceptable to Mankad, but not in outdoor cricket? How in some sports it is perfectly acceptable to cheat (eg. outdoor cricket) but not others (eg. touch rugby)?

/vent.

[Tony.T]

Very good, Clem. Is that from your forthcoming CD?

The music already exists, Brett. Anyway, I struggle to play the spoons. So I'd be no help.

Big, I have no problem with players walking OR standing their ground. I also have no problem with Gilly chipping batsmen. If they batsman's silly enough to get lured into a debate, that's their problem. But I agree with you about the way of things to come. The technology may just lead to everyone being shamed into doing the "right" thing.

[RT]

Persecution by TV, as it should be. Channel 9 should highlight it even more, ie a competetion for classic cheating. Greg Dyer dropped Kiwi batsman Jones one day at the MCG. Dyer's name is now up there in the Cheatin' Chauhan list and the incident buggered his test career, even though quite likely he may not have known he dropped it and it probably did Australian cricket a favour by fast-tracking Healy.

[Tony.T]

Nice idea, but don't expect them to use the super-duper high-res extra slo-mo close up Todd-AO Vista-Vision to highlight the action of a certain "bowler".

Nine have put the kybosh on any criticism of questionable actions.

[Ferombah Hynde]

I agree that not walking when you know you are out is cheating.

However, any player who plays for a decent period of time will receive (hopefully) an equal number of incorrect umpiring decisions for and against him. The batsman has the power to correct the poor decisions in his favour by walking, but does not have the power to correct the poor decisions which go against him, by refusing to leave the crease.

So Gilly, by walking, is increasing the ratio of unfavourable:favourable poor umpiring decisions, which does not seem to make much sense.

Maybe he figures he can afford to do it, being a cricketing god 'n' all.

[Brett Pee]

I NEVER walk. Usually 'cos my sticks are regularly uprooted and don't get the option- but as a rule i remain rooted to the crease when i occasionally get a tickle. Never give the bastards an even break.

[Dirk Thruster]

Ferombah,
"However, any player who plays for a decent period of time will receive (hopefully) an equal number of incorrect umpiring decisions for and against him."
That would include opposition players, too, the calls even up that way.
In the meantime, just walk. Or not, but find another way to justify it. Try the "We're in a professional era" defense, it has more credibility.

[Tony.T]

I never walked, but I don't care if someone does, mind you, and I don't care if someone doesn't.

I don't reckon Gilly cares either, he was just trying to get under McMillan's skin. And he did.

McMillan = Soft.

[Brett Pee]

McMillan = Crap

[Tony.T]

Tick.

[Big Ramifications]

I'm glad no one picked me for this, so it's time to dob myself in. The touch rugby / cricket / cheating analogy wasn't the best. Claiming a tag is a much more pro active form of cheating.

Nevertheless, touch rugby is still a very honest game, and there is a better analogy I could give using the same sport – but I don't wanna bore everyone to tears.

Speaking of bad analogies. I don't care for Ian Healy's recent "If you are going to be a walker then you shouldn't appeal for dismissals when they are not out" effort. I don't care for it at all.

[Clefty]

I don't care for my dad's boobs.

[Tony.T]

Totally, totally agree with your last paragraph, Big, but I'm more interested in you OTHER analogy. Totally agree, by the way.

Neither do I, Clefty. Neither do I.

[Big Ramifications]

OK then, I'll try and keep it brief.

In touch rugby it is an automatic turnover if the dummy half gets caught with the ball. It is also one of the most commonly missed transgressions by the refs. The accepted thing to do if the ref misses it is to drop the ball, run back to defence, and politely say "dummy half, sir".

Then there is normally lots of thanks and salutations from the other team for being such a TOP BLOKE. :)

-----

I just thought of another curious thing about cricket and all the BS that goes on. It is considered really really poor form to Mankad, even though it is entirely within the rules. Yet it is not considered really really poor form to not-walk, even though it is entirely within the rules.

God, cricketers can be hypocritical wankers sometimes. Gilly for GG!

[Tony.T]

I used to play touch and I didn't know that rule.

Let me think on that other point for a while.

And definitely Gilly fo GG. The way he got under Macca's skin was primo. No swearing, no sledging, no abuse.

McMillan was out, he knew it, he was embarrassed to be "caught out" by Gilly, and bit on Gilly's taunt. Just as most of us do when we get sprung red-handed.

McMillan = Goose.

I think I said that before.

[Gibbo]

I have had this conversation with my son recently. The advice I gave him was never to walk. It is simply not his decision to make. It is the umpires decision alone.
Gilly was just messing with his head and it worked.

[Tony.T]

I was actually thinking about it this morning, Gibbo. How come Gilly took all the heat? Yet virtually NO ONE has popped McMillan for getting sucked in big time, looking like a dope, and getting out next ball.

The critics should have been all over McMillan for being a nob.