ONLINE MOLL

Adam reveals the stupidest online poll result ever.

Sure, Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da isn't the Beatles best song, in fact it might even be their worst, but Jesus, the adventures of Desmond and his marvellous barrow, Molly's 20 carrots and likeable face, and their cheerfully helpful offspring still comprise the trace elements of a significantly better song than at least, oh, I dunno, just throwing around random numbers, ninety-nine percent of the utter nonsense that's passed for pop music ever since.

Beatles classic voted worst song

The Beatles' 1968 song Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da has been voted the worst song ever in an online poll. The track was on the band's White Album - which is often regarded as one of the best albums ever made. It was rated as being worse than former footballer Paul Gascoigne's Fog On The Tyne in a Mars survey of 1,000 people.

What do you expect if you poll aliens?

Surely though, it's merely just testament to the fact more people have heard of the Beatles than most other bands and that not anywhere enough people have been painfully subjected to the likes of Lobo's Me & You & a Dog Named Boo, Phil Collins' Susudio or Jimmy Barnes & John Farnham squeezing out When Something Is Wrong With My Baby.

Check down the BBC page for the other, more sensible, suggestions.

Comments

[Adam 1.0]

Believe by Cher is clearly the worst song ever. But this one has to rank highly due to the album it's on - it stands out as shite.

I hate Desmond and Molly Jones with a passion.

[Sedgwick]

There are two home grown absolutimonstrosicals that went straight to the pool room in my personal Great Hall of Infamy, and they're both down to a couple of your sporty types.

Here they are in black and white. Ebony and ivory living in perfect disharmony.

Lionel Rose, "I Thank You"
Peter McKenna, "It takes time"

[Tony.T]

My Top 10 shockers would all be songs that were serious, proper type releases, not the likes of Shaddap You Face, William Shattner's gear, you know, novelty gear that the singer didn't take ultru seriously. Therefore that Cher song would certainly be in my Top 10 shockers.

Sedge, did McKenna do Smile All The While? I seem to remember he did something like that, but I couln't be sure. Ronny Burns?

[Dirk Thruster]

Two words: Macarthur Park.

[Tony.T]

Is it really THAT BAD, Dirk? I mean really, it's not good, but is it an all-time Top 10 shocker? I can still think of loads of songs that should get a gig before it.

Fernando by ABBA, like, you know, totally shits me.

[Adam 1.0]

It would be hard to give an educated view on the shittest songs of all-time after almost completely ignoring the output of the last few years. I'm sure there were some absolute pooches released post 2001. Most of them featuring in the top 20 now.

[Big Ramifications]

"Andres" by L7 is an absolute Barry. Worst song ever.

Rose Tattoo's "We Can't Be Beaten" makes me cringe sometimes.

"Beds Are Burning" by the Oils annoys me. Never knew what the all fuss was about.

Blender magazine named a Worst 50 not long ago. Here is their worst ten:

1. We Built This City - Starship (1985)
2. Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus (1992)
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung (1986)
4. Rollin' - Limp Bizkit (2000)
5. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice (1990)
6. The Heart of Rock & Roll - Huey Lewis and the News (1984)
7. Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin (1988)
8. Party All the Time - Eddie Murphy (1985)
9. American Life - Madonna (2003)
10. Ebony and Ivory - Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder (1982)

http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/archive/index.php/t-29027.html

[Sedgwick]

"Sedge, did McKenna do Smile All The While?"

On the money, more than Pete was ever on the note.

[Tony.T]

"absolute pooches"

Gold. Woof!

That's a list that will live in infamy, Notorious Bigggy Big. Ebony & Ivory. Awful, just awful.

Now he's "Singing All The Wheel" for Braxy. Sorry, couldn't resist it.

[James Russell]

Is it really THAT BAD, Dirk?

I think "Macarthur Park"'s bad reputation is based almost entirely on its chorus and the nervous breakdown over a cake described therein. I say this, mind you, partly because the chorus is so mesmerisingly piss-poor that I can't actually think of how the verses go, and so I don't know if they're

[James Russell]

...better or worse than the refrain. I suspect this is also true of most people who've ever heard the song. The tune itself is an acceptable piece of 1967 orchestral pop.

(End of above comment got cut off for some reason.)

[Tony.T]

Precisely my point, James. The tune is a long way from the TT Top 10, but it's also nowhere near the bottom ten either.

[Adam 1.0]

Pah there's plenty worse than Ice Ice Baby. What about "Informer" by Snow? What was all that about?

[Big Ramifications]

"Pah there's plenty worse than Ice Ice Baby. What about "Informer" by Snow? What was all that about?"

Confession time: I actually like Ice Ice Baby AND Informer.

From memory, "Leaky boom boom down" means he's gonna shoot you (boom boom) and you're gonna fall over (down) and you will be oozing blood everywhere (leaky). Much in the same way gangster rappers say they're "gonna wet ya!"

Listen to the start of the song where Snow is being hassled by "the man", and "the man" has a quintessential Southern "respect my authori-tie" cop accent. Somehow mes thinks Snow doesn't hang out with his homeys in the deep South!

[Tony.T]

Happily, I wouldn't know Vanilla Ice from a banana fritter, I mean, I've heard the name, but that's about it. And, yo, I've never heard of Snow.

[Dirk Thruster]

You know what's sad? In the last week or so, 2 WEB (the only commercial station there is out here) has played six songs from Big's list. Two of them on high rotation.
Macarthur Park has no redeeming features. None.
According to an article I read lo, these many years ago, it was written as a joke in response to all the pretentious bullshit that 'serious' pop singers were putting out. Even the actor (can't remember his name) who sings it was selected for his atonal droning. Trouble is, everybody thought the emperor's new clothes were just jim-dandy.

[Tony.T]

Allow me to guess, Dirk ...

We Built This City - Starship (1985)
Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus (1992)
Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung (1986)
The Heart of Rock & Roll - Huey Lewis and the News (1984)
Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin (1988)
American Life - Madonna (2003)
Ebony and Ivory - Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder (1982)

That's seven. I reckon you missed one.

And like I said before, I have rock all problems with MP, it's no favourite, but there are way, way, way to many worse songs going around for me to care about a bit of Richard Harris self-indulgence.

[Dirk Thruster]

Tony you are psychic, except Maddy didn't get a run. Starship and Huey Lewis on high rotation.

[Tony.T]

My cousin's son's name is Huey Lewis. No shit. My cousin couldn't resist.

[Phil]

FFS, its about personal preference. some people like heavy metal some like oldies some like pop some like rap some dont give a shit and some like the lot ( somet thing but still ). And old mate there saying the top 10 worste songs out of that 50 worste in a mag. well when limp bizkit released Rollin it was kinda ( popular ). is there like 90 year olds deciding whats the worste songs in that mag ? most younger people liked the song due to the bass, good to chuck in ya car.
i mean :
1. We Built This City - Starship (1985)
2. Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus (1992)
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung (1986)
4. Rollin' - Limp Bizkit (2000)
5. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice (1990)
6. The Heart of Rock & Roll - Huey Lewis and the News (1984)
7. Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin (1988)
8. Party All the Time - Eddie Murphy (1985)
9. American Life - Madonna (2003)
10. Ebony and Ivory - Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder (1982)

the worste songs ever are the ones that you dont hear. the ones that you will never hear. because they are not good enough for any radio station to play and not good enough to sell in any music joint.
Far q all

[Tony.T]

Thank you, Phil. I love you, too.

For what it's worth and being totally cynical; most people don't know what they like.