In the last six months I've had one student take his dad's TLC Mercedes Sports without permission and stick it into a Moreton Bay Fig. One put his mum's hot DKNY Celica into a creek. Another wrote off her -- we cater for equal opportunity bogans at my school -- WWF Holden Bazooka. Zooming straight through a brick roundabout. A week later she left her new brand new, no payments made, Berlina NKVD parked in the drive with the handbrake off and the car rolled back across the front yard, over the gnome, through the fence, across the road, miraculously missed oncoming traffic, and slammed into the side of a taxi parked at a nearby rank. Naturally Mohammed / Muamar / Mehmet / Mike was NOT impressed.
Then there's the carpark at school. Due to the 24-hour Maccas up the corner, the local wildlife hangs out in there. Most mornings the tar is covered with donuts but surprisingly there are never any cops around.
Finally, 4:30 weekdays. The time when school knocks off and the race is on to see who can get away quickest. I've seen one peanut reverse out of his park, scoot backwards and flatten the fence across the road. One dickhead swung through the roundabout and side-swiped half a dozen cars. Another fool did a burnout, lost control and ran over his cheering mate's foot. Lucky -- in a "let's say the right thing" way -- he didn't kill him. Once, two guys reversed out, one going left, the other going right, and managed to smoosh each other's rear ends. Then they got out and punched on for about ten minutes. There's always an upside. There was also the four-foot-nothing fat kid who can barely see above the dash of his V8 Thumpa Thumpa Doof Doof Ford MTV who pulled out straight into the path of a Mazda delivery van.
All in all, an exceedingly broad chronicle of driver idiocy. And in LESS THAN six months at one school.
That's why I'm dismayed by the following proposal to de-hotrod bogans. What the hell will I do for laughs?
Plan to seize cars wins supportThe State Opposition has agreed to support a State Government plan to crack down on dangerous driving by confiscating cars from hoons.
Opposition Leader Robert Doyle said yesterday anything that provided greater protection to the community was worth backing.
"I'd be prepared to look at this," he said. "Obviously, there are civil liberties issues involved.
But the community comes first and, unfortunately, we've seen some really dangerous behaviour on our streets."
Acting Premier John Thwaites said the Government was still considering options for its anti-hoon laws and he would keep an open mind on the final legislation.
Needless to say, you've eschewed driving to work?
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 18 October 2004 at 11:42
God no! That'd mean catching the Epping Line trains. That's worse. What with the crazy junkies, stench carriages and poor people. Shudder.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 October 2004 at 11:45
Caz gets some of her best writing material off those train lines though....
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 18 October 2004 at 11:46
Caz is a trooper. I think she's on the Hursty Line. That's grim with hippys. Personally, I avoid grubby strangers.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 October 2004 at 11:50
I cant say I blame you. Look at what working on Melbourne's public transport system has done to young Adam...
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 18 October 2004 at 11:52
I'm not sure he still works there. I think he got out before his brain corroded. He's "progressed" to community radio.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 October 2004 at 12:05
The Prosecution Rests, M'Lord.
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 18 October 2004 at 12:33
Indeed. We find The Adam guilty as overcharged.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 October 2004 at 12:36
What the fuck are you people discussing me for? I know I'm great but let's not take it too far.
Posted by: Adam 1.0 | 18 October 2004 at 19:21
Just a prime example of the dangers of being over-exposed to Melbourne public transport, Adam.
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 18 October 2004 at 19:26
Don't panic. It's another Adam 1.0. The one who works on the buses.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 October 2004 at 19:31
Wozzies already have anti hoon legislation where the cops have power to confiscate the car for 48 hours if you are doing 40 k over the limit and racing. three strikes and they keep your car.
Of course the bloke doing 180k in a 110 zone didnt have his car confiscated because he was just speeding.The fact he was 37 and not 18 probably helped too
Posted by: embee | 19 October 2004 at 01:21
Yeah....it's alway's best to avoid some of these scuzzy lowlife who travel on our superb public transport- once i was accosted by some foul smelling old groghead who placed his disgusting flea infected beard in my face and demanded that i hand him 5 dollars-and he wasn't even a politician.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 19 October 2004 at 02:54
You're not perchance 37 are you, Embee? Just asking, you understand.
The question is, Brett; did you fork out?
Posted by: Tony.T | 19 October 2004 at 08:54
The question is what will the Government do with the cars? Steve "Hot Rod" Bracks? What's the test for a hoon car? A horn that plays Mexican ditties and the obligatory fluffy dice?
Posted by: Simon | 19 October 2004 at 17:09
The other day somebody told me that it was illegal to have fluffy dice or anything else hanging off your rear view mirror in Victoria. Surely not.
Especially given I was almost run off the road by a couple of cunts in hotted up cars drag racing down St Kilda Road on Saturday night. How come the cops can't catch them (considering they went straight past the fucking massive police complex there) but they'll bust you for going 62 in a 60 zone? Lucky my speedo is fucked and when it says I'm doing 60 I'm actually on 55 or something.
Posted by: Adam 1.0 | 19 October 2004 at 20:26
You two are trouble-makers. I can tell.
PS: It IS against the law to have anything in your car that might obscure driver vision. That includes fluffy dice.
Posted by: Tony.T | 20 October 2004 at 08:34
No, i wouldn't hand some old fleabag the pickings from my backside mate.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 22 October 2004 at 03:00
Hi all,
I'm a documentary filmmaker from Perth, Western Australia, doing some research for a film about hoon laws.
Basically this is a chance to give your point of view on hoon laws. Are they good? Bad? Don't effect you? Have changed your life?
I'm looking for people that might
1) Consider themselves hoons
2) Have been labelled (fairly or unfairly) as a hoon
3) Feel they have been targeted (fairly or unfairly) as the result of hoon laws.
4) Are passionate about their cars!!!
If you have an interesting, funny, terrible story I'd like to hear it. If you love your car, and want to talk about it, even better! I'd love to see pictures of cars, descriptions of what you've done for them and with them, and what they mean to you.
I'm particularly interested in hearing from people in Kalgoorlie, WA, or can talk about that area, as hoon laws are quite new there.
At this stage it's just an idea and hopefully will become a program aired on national and possibly international TV. It will be shaped by the people who participate in it.
As for me... I grew up in an area where people loved their cars and would devote themselves completely to working on them, so when I heard about these laws I wondered how it could impact on peoples' lives.
I'll keep an eye on this forum to see if there are any responses.
Look forward to hearing from you!
Bridget
Posted by: Bridget | 22 March 2006 at 21:03