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True story: In my childhood I was alarmed one evening...whilst eating dinner...homemade meatloaf! Dad complained about this tough particle of carrot he'd been chomping on then produced the offending matter for family scrutiny. My mother had "failed to determine the location of her missing (false and red-varnished) fingernail". It had come off in the early stages of preparation (presumably) then been baked. More alarming to me was her thrill at finding it and the desire to immediatedly re-unite it with the other nine in the set. I've been suspicious of diced carrot ever since. With a fresh coat of varnish you couldn't even tell which one.

Tell me Nora, in the long and cringeworth tradition of fingernail inspired aggravation, did the cherry varnished blighter screech on your dad's teeth?

No screeching...just the clack-clacking of dentures as he tried to dislodge it.

Just as gruesome. Hopefully common-sense prevailed and he dislodged it with a dessert spoon and not a steak knife. Or a splade.

Did you sue Nora?

Tony- this is just the 'tip' of the iceburg ('scuse the pun) but where the ***k has your site disappeared to? Mate, i reckoned you had gone from the radar, what is occuring and why the chaNGE?

Go 'Mons , by the way.

I thought it was the customers who were supposed to leave tips for the staff, not the other way around...

Just read Nora's comment. Reminds me of when I was at Boarding school and would occasionally find small stones in my meal...

Me? Sue boynton? I'd hate to be called litigious. Tim - I once found a slater in a dim sim I was munching into and fortunately it was a whole one.

Tim, you must have gone to the same boarding school as me. I'm the only person I know who loves creamed corn.

Nora, what's a slater?

A wood louse.

Terrapins like to eat them 'on the hoof'.

Terrapin? I'm not familiar with turtles' dining habits. Nor with their hitherto unknown ability to catch a hoof to eat off.

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