The other day I was talking to a friend who once worked in a brewery. Curious, I asked him if he knew the meaning of all those odd sounding beer keg names. He did.
The following are standard Strayan measures.
Fairway & Firkin, Faith & Firkin, Falcon & Firkin, Fanfare & Firkin, Fantail & Firkin, Faraday & Firkin, Farrier & Firkin, Fatling & Firkin, Faun & Firkin, Felix & Firkin, Ferret & Firkin, Fettler & Firkin, Fewterer & Firkin, Fiddler & Firkin, Fielder & Firkin, Financier & Firkin, Finnock & Firkin, Fitz & Firkin, Flamingo & Firkin, Flautist & Firkin, Flicker & Firkin, Flintlock & Firkin, Flock & Firkin, Flounder & Firkin, Flourmill & Firkin, Flower & Firkin, Flyman & Firkin, Foote & Firkin, Footman & Firkin, Ford & Firkin, Fornax & Firkin, Forster & Firkin, Fox & Firkin, Freedom & Firkin, Friar & Firkin, Friesian & Firkin, Frigate & Firkin, Fringe & Firkin, Fringilla & Firkin, Frog & Firkin, Frog & Firkin, Frothfinders & Firkin, Fulmar & Firkin, Funnel & Firkin, Furze & Firkin, Fusilier & Firkin, Fuzzock & Firkin, Goose & Firkin, Phantom & Firkin, Pharoah & Firkin, Pheasant & Firkin, Philatelist & Firkin, Philomath & Firkin, Phoenix & Firkin, Photographer & Firkin
Firkin hell! That's an Effin' lot of Effs! I don't know about you, but I can't see why we should limit ourselves to Effy alliteration. Surely Firkin goes just as well with other fings? What about Okapi & Firkin? Or Quonset & Firkin? Or Herpes Zoster & Firkin?
A kilderkin is an old English liquid measure, dating from about the 13th century, equal to 16 (old and ill-defined) gallons, or half a barrel. In modern units, this would be roughly 16 to 18 Imperial gallons, or 19 to 22 US gallons. A firkin is half a kilderkin. A pipkin is a small earthenware bowl, and a pannikin is a small metal drinking vessel. A bodkin is a thick, blunt needle. A jerkin is a sleeveless jacket, usually made of leather. A gherkin is a sort of small cucumber. A manikin (from which we have the word mannequin) is a dwarf, or an anatomical model used for teaching art or medicine, and also a tropical bird of the finch family.
What about a bobby pin? The measure of height to which a woman's hair can be set. A bowling pin? A steel shaft which must be inserted in the arm of a cricketer with a suspect bowling action. Or a Roger McGuinn. That'd be the measure of how far The Eagles have fuc ... err ... firked up country-rock music.
Half Hogshead -- 27 Gallons.
See Hogshead. Read half.
Pork barrel is a derogatory term used to describe government spending that is intended to enrich constituents of a politician in return for their political support, either in the form of campaign contributions or votes. Typically it involves funding for government programs whose economic or service benefits are concentrated but whose costs are spread among all taxpayers. Military spending, public works projects and agricultural subsidies are the most commonly cited examples, but do not exhaust the possibilities. Pork barreling is an important explanation for government deficits.
One of the earliest examples of pork barreling was the Bonus Bill of 1817, which was introduced by John Calhoun to construct highways linking the East and South of the United States to its Western frontier using the earnings Bonus from the Second Bank of the United States. Calhoun argued for it using general welfare and post roads clauses of the United States Constitution. Although he approved of the economic development goal, President James Madison vetoed the bill as unconstitutional. Since then however, U.S. presidents have seen the political advantage of pork barreling.
What is there to say about barrels except ...
There's a garden, what a garden,
Only happy faces bloom there,
And there's never any room there,
For a worry or a gloom there
Oh there's music and there's dancing,
And a lot of sweet romancing
When they play the polka
They all get in the swingEvery time they hear that oom-pa-pa,
Everybody feels so tra-la-la
They want to throw their cares away,
They all go lah-de-ah-de-ay
Then they hear a rumble on the floor, the floor,
It's the big surprise they're waiting for
And all the couples form a ring,
For miles around you'll hear them sing...Chorus:
Roll out the barrel, we'll have a barrel of fun
Roll out the barrel, we've got the blues on the run
Zing boom tararrel, ring out a song of good cheer
Now's the time to roll the barrel, for the gang's all here
Ten Green Bottles, anyone?
Nancy Hogshead, an Olympic triple gold medalist, began competive swimming early and was ranked number one in the world at age 14. In high school and college dual meets she was undefeated. After a brief retirement, she came back to steal the show in the 1984 Olympic games. By the age of 22, Nancy had capped eight years as a world class swimmer. She has been inducted into six Halls of Fame, including the International Swimming Hall of Fame.
An unfortunate name. Don't you think so, Misty?
Anyone can use it! The Bun & Thigh Roller is as easy to use as a rocking chair. As you rock backwards, the resistance band challenges your muscles, making them stronger, tighter and more toned while minimizing impact to your knees and back. The padded back and head rest provide a comfortable workout that doesn't feel like work. And the Bun & Thigh Roller adjusts to your height, so it fits anybody.
Err, sorry about that.
Bit of time on your hands today, Tony?
Meanwhile, a pub called Frothfinders makes sense.
Posted by: Dirk Thruster | 30 August 2004 at 19:32
What if Misty failed a drug test- surely the headline would be Hymen Busted.
Posted by: PB | 30 August 2004 at 19:44
I strenuously reject your implication, Dirk. The idea I might blog out of boredom or pad out this blog is patently ridiculous. Everything that goes here is vitally important to the overall scheme of things.
Bicks, just to see that headline, it would be well worth spiking her decaf with No Doze.
Posted by: Tony.T | 31 August 2004 at 10:12
"A firkin is half a kilderkin"
A great line.
Posted by: boynton | 31 August 2004 at 13:14
Just think of the National Enquirer headline- Swim Star's Shame- Like Worst Ever First Date; Hymen Busted, Test Positive.
Posted by: pb | 31 August 2004 at 16:23
What, no Merkin & Firkin?
Posted by: nardo | 31 August 2004 at 16:56
Flautist & Firkin.
I'm there, dude! Fnaw fnaw.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 31 August 2004 at 17:06
A firkin great line, B.
Dammit, Bicks! Why the hell wasn't that girl more irresponsible? Selfish bitch.
C'mon boys. No Jerkin Gerkin & Firkin either.
Posted by: T.T | 31 August 2004 at 18:13