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All the money he can bathe in and all the quif he can bang.

Just for his ability to kick an inflated strip of pig-skin around.

How is this fair Tony?


To quote ... err ... someone, Mike

"It Ain't Fair -- It Just Ain't Fair"

AND he's got a silly voice.

As they said in some article "he has a voice like Frank Pike from Dad's Army".

It's official then. He's a "Stupid boy".

It must be hard for someone to be so stupid and rich all at the same time. Who would have thought text messages would end up in the paper? Love can be so cruel.

More importantly, how do you pronounce ****? Or ****** your ****? Is the accent on the first or last syllable?

i automatically disbelieve the tabloids after seeing the amount of rubbish they manufacture. sure, it could be true, but the news is usually so far removed from the truth that i'll wait to see if reality catches up or goes the other way.
it is a silly voice isn't it. is that the local dialect where he comes from? wierd

What's the story with Shane Warne ? Was he accused of doing the tube snake boogie with somebody he shoudn't have been around ?

Simon, four stars means a flat curse, six an accent on the first syllable, and seven mean you have to whistle & click your tongue at the same time. I'm told it's a vicious insult in Swahili.

Yeah, not too sure about the tabby's either, Rat. But by Christ they're funny. Love their work.

SM, Warnie was found to have left juicy messages on a young lady's voicemail. Obviously Becks didn't hear about that particular fuss. Or he might have been a bit more careful.

He may indeed be a 'silly boy'.

But at the risk of sounding like a typical woman, the man is HOT and i'd fuck him.

I wouldnt want to keep him, just borrow Him. Blondes bore me quickly.

Maybe so, D, but you'd have to gag him.

I'm sorry everyone but its got to be said:

Becks has been trying to get his kicks with one of his subs and in an attempt to get a shot off into the box, slipped and another player Posh then refused to have a go at sliding into his upright. Beckham will no longer be bending his balls into anyone's goal and will probably be scoring own goals until this does down, and will only again be happy when his final whistle is blown....

Posh 1 - Silly Voice 0 (apart from the odd penalty)

That is quite correct Tony. I would have to gag Him and i have the PERFECT implement with which to do it with!

As for her, this Rebecca girl! I've seen better heads on a flat beer.

It really is true what they say isnt it? Any port in a storm.

No problems, Ads. Carry on. Boom tish.

D, to quote Dick Emory: "Ooooooooh, you AARRRRRRE awful. But I like it".

And while on the classics: "A head like a beaten favourite."

True. I am terrible. Such a bad, bad girl!

If i was DB, I would be looking elsewhere to. I mean, sheesh, old Vicki has tits made of silicone and god forbid He should mess up her hair.

Maybe He wanted a real woman?

If that WAS the case, then I will happily supply him with my address and phone number. As long as He is advised that i dont do phone sex!

D, seems DB is "expanding his portfolio". To this great sunburnt country, no less. You might yet get lucky.

I'm thinking HE would be the lucky one. As long as He brings the credit cards, I'm happy.

Notice how Hirdy and Becks both have those fake, plastic wives? I wonder if Hirdy plays hide the sausage other places to?

Do you not think they are reading too much into this? The rel texts probably were something like:

Rebecca Loos: OK will stop jumping and save it for when I see you and just keep smiling till then.
David Beckham: OK, you need to save all that energy for TYPING.


DB: Very, very CRUCIAL, thinking of your FAXES and the TAX RETURN. Now I am doing something, thinking about your MOUSEMAT.

RL: REBOOT your HARD DRIVE, feeling you CRASHED.

Then again the press probably think even my version of their texts is sordid..

Pretty filthy gear, Sarah. I'm getting all hot for my ergonomic gel filled wrist rester.

Sarah? Sarah? Just between you and me, does your last name start with M?

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