Saturday night I recorded the apocalypse pending film, On The Beach. Not the original, but the 2000 telly movie.
Now, I've never read Neville Shute's book so I can't vouch for it's impact, especially 50 years down the track, but I've always thought the original -- which often attracts the sobriquet classic -- extremely overrated, while this Aussie remake, watched on heavy fast forward, was just appalling. Especially Bryan Brown.
Never. The. Less.
Rod Mullinar: "Which gives Melbourne what?"
Armand Assante: "32 days minimum."
-- On The Beach
Q.1) Has Assante EVER been in a good film?
Q.2) Has Russell Mulcahy EVER made a good film?
Jeeebus. I just checked out his CV:
http://imdb.com/name/nm0611683/
"Highlander" absolutely rocked.
Apart from that, there are some seriously SERIOUSLY bad movies on that list!
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 15 March 2004 at 15:22
The original is a bit of a head-scratcher, I agree. I mean, what happens? Humanity has nuclear war. Humanity moves to Australia. Humanity realises there are no other survivors and that they're going to die off fairly shortly. Humanity does just that. I wonder why exactly I should care about this. I've made a point of not seeing the remake.
I don't think I've even heard of most of the films on Armand Assante's filmography, though I did like the TV "Jack The Ripper". As for Mulcahy, he was apparently responsible for some episodes of the godawful American version of "Queer As Folk". There's some fucking shit in that filmography of his, all right.
Posted by: James Russell | 15 March 2004 at 16:02
I taped it as well, watching bits during ad breaks in th rugby; 'twas like a bad road accident- awful, you don't want to look, but you just have to.
Ditto for the Kenndy-dick-suck exercise by Kev Kostner last night. Curtis le May should have staged a coup.
Posted by: Habib | 15 March 2004 at 17:54
notice one of the abc overnight movies from the vaults tonight TT?
"The Lucky Number"
from (19)32...
Posted by: b | 15 March 2004 at 19:29
I thought "On The Beach" was a pretty good fillum, although the continual playing of 'waltzing Mathilda' got on my tits. Not all of us relate to that tune!! Peck was decent in his role- and Ava Gardner!!
Russell Mulcahy directed the abysmal "Derek & Clive Get The Horn" (1979), his 1st(and i wished last) attempt at directing`. It has been shown recently and is a supposed 'comedy'. Dudley Moore & Peter Cook trolled the depth of their careers with this booze fueled and perverted claptrap. "Highlander" (1986) with Christopher Lambert remains the best thing he's ever done. WARNING:- He's working on a new project now. Avoid.
Armand Assante was vaguely interesting in the movie about Union organizer Jimmy Hoffa "Hoffa" (1992). Otherwise he's been very bland and extremely anonymous.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 15 March 2004 at 21:17
Speaking of the apocalypse...
Would you like me to become immortal? Or, failing that, read about my attempt to get some free magnets?
http://www.xanga.com/christmasape has the details.
Go, for the good of the city!
Long time reader, third time commenter.
Posted by: Christmas Ape | 16 March 2004 at 03:07
I watched it as well - had to take my mind off the Bulls first two days - and agree it was awful. I never saw the original but the book wasn't bad.
Posted by: Jim | 16 March 2004 at 10:35
Never saw the re-make and on this advice never will but they always have an interesting support cast in those made for TV Aussie movies. Alyce Platt from Sale of the Century "fame", David Argue from Gallipoli fame who was built up as the next big thing and then did bugger all.
Russell Mulcahy did Derek and Clive Get The Horn? Not a bad directing gig putting the camera on two guys getting pissed telling dirty gags.
Posted by: Richard T | 16 March 2004 at 12:43
Yeah, a more obnoxious and stomache churning pile of Wombat puke would be very hard to find. A question to ask Dudley Moore:- Why?
Posted by: Brett Pee | 16 March 2004 at 20:49
Big - Highlander was OK, the second was appalling. I saw Razorback in Geraldton. For what that's worth.
Beautifully summed up, James. If I may paraphrase -- in big letters -- BORING FILM. Never liked Assante. Never thought he could act. At all.
Habiby Baby - I recorded the Kennedy film too. Based on your recco, I didn't bother watching it and taped CSI over it.
Spooky, B. As was the comment from the next trivia table tonight. "Oooh. 32's a good number."
Never liked Peck, Brett. I've never seen D&C Get the Horn, but they are one of the funniest comedy pairings of all time. And I don't think a director need do much if he just wants to fillum two guys getting pissed.
To pinch a quote from Miller's Crossing -- "Beat it, Ape!"
Shield final was great, wasn't it Jim? Well, I thought so. Go Vics!
Rich, don't forget the Dominator's girlfriend. She was in it too. You've got to guess who though. No telling. And Con the Mitchell. And of course, Rod Mullinar. He of the immortal conversation.
Posted by: Tony.T | 16 March 2004 at 22:38
Glad I missed it now. Cheers for the update Tony.
Posted by: Mike Jericho | 17 March 2004 at 02:06
Tony- do try and watch D&C get the horn- laugh? You'll never begin mate, two great comedians wasted and looking plain embarrased in picking up their dollars. The movie is prime contender for Turkey of the century.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 17 March 2004 at 02:28
Razorback is a dead-set classic, you blokes! From Don Lane's sudden escape into the night to Chris Heywood's moving last words as he disappears down the big pig's gob.
Unforgettable stuff.
Posted by: Rob Schaap | 17 March 2004 at 03:28
Dominator's girlfriend? Was it Antonia Murphy? Only put her because she was in Outback Vampires from '87. The only comment on IMDB "connoisseurs of bad films will no doubt have a field day with it". Also had John Doyle (Roy Slaven) and Lucky Grills in it?! According to IMDB John Doyle's first appearance was in the very popular Bradman TV mini series, he was Gubby Allen. You have to love IMDB!
Posted by: Richard T | 17 March 2004 at 11:41
Yes, the 2nd Highlander makes regular appearances on "Worst 10 Movies Ever" lists.
I saw Razorback about 12 years after it was first released. An absolute Barry Crocker of a film, too.
Posted by: Big Ramifications | 17 March 2004 at 12:54
Absolute tripe, Mike.
Brett, I refuse to believe PC & DM could be in a worst move than Caddyshack II. Or McHale's Movie -The Navy. Or Arthur II: On The rocks. Or Ernest Goes To Camp. Or Death In Brunswick. I could go on. Look Who's Talking Now. Glitter. Teen Wolf II. I better stop.
Ha Ha. Good one Rob. I'd forgotten about the unintentional comedy aspects. Sadly, they only holds my attention for about five minutes. It aws just a very badly made film. The chucks were just an accidental offshoot.
Nope. Wasn't Antonia, Rich. This actress was on telly last night after CSI. But in OTB she played a dead person.
Awful tripe, Big. I think I've said that before. No matter, both wrer rubbish.
Posted by: Tony.T | 17 March 2004 at 18:01
Cease with the feckless glitter slander. That movie is a godsend and an inspiration to aspiring film makers the world over. Even the usually foulmouthed Filthy critic gave it 5 fingers.
It's the perfect drunk movie.
Posted by: Christmas Ape | 17 March 2004 at 19:08
The Dominator is shagging that sheila from Stingers isn't he? She was the Celeb Gardener on Burkes Backyard once. Wonder if Donnie boned her?
Amand Asante - I reckon he did some soft porn early in the piece. Another who would be better of playing cameo's in Peter North movies.
Posted by: Burty | 17 March 2004 at 21:19
Sorry about the earlier comment, Ape. I thought that link was to a spam site. I just had a look, obviously it's not. Glitter's still fucked though.
That's the one Burtois. I always thought the Donster was gay. Dunno why. Just did. And Armand is very very very ordinary.
Posted by: Tony.T | 18 March 2004 at 15:36
Tony, you may have a point with the godawful Caddyshit 2, i'd (understanderbly) forgotten about that piece of celluloid garbage for whom every single person who took part in that 'movie' should be thoroughly ashamed (or shot) Cheers.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 18 March 2004 at 22:14
In partial fairness to Mulcahy, interference from the film's insurers—thanks to massive budget blowouts which necessitated them taking over control of the project—was at least partly to blame for the second Highlander film apparently being a pile of yak shit. Not even the production company wound up having any say in the final product, hence why they and Mulcahy years later went back and entirely recut the film from the existing footage (not all scenes had been shot when the insurers moved in), which apparently resulted in a better if still problematic film. Shame the director's cut is apparently only available overseas...
Posted by: James Russell | 25 March 2004 at 00:05