After Grog Blog

NEGOTIATION AGRI-VATION

I must admit I've never really understood the mechanics of a Free Trade Agreement with the Yanks.

Mostly I've puzzled over - and doubted - whether we're likely to get better - or equal - outcomes over agriculture and how this could be possible in the face of the massive US farm lobby. Who for instance, don't want us lobbing cheap, high quality, madness-free meat on their waterfronts.

Add to that the not insignificant ingredient - the Yank negotiators aren't stupid. They, just like our negotiators, aren't about to cede an advantage in deal balance. Both sides would be thinking - you give something, you get something ... more.

Finally there's the enormous advantage inherent in plain old market size. Herein lies the nub of Chris Wallace's article in today's Oz. The Insiders lefty does a good job over the main issue, namely leverage, and in the process manages a generous assessment of trade minister, Mark Vaile....

AUSTRALIA'S most significant bilateral trade deal hangs in the balance as talks continue this weekend to break the impasse stalling a free trade agreement with the US.

Win or lose, no one will be able to fault Australian Trade Minister Mark Vaile's commitment to his country, embodied in his tenacious pursuit of the troubled FTA. Vaile has not had a full night's sleep since getting to Washington and has talked trade intensely every waking moment in between. Despite staying at the swank Hay Adams Hotel - "where nothing is overlooked but the White House", says the discreet motto on its electronic room keys - Australia's trade minister has been living on club sandwiches. Vaile has cancelled his return flight home and is not spending a moment on anything but this last-ditch attempt to get the FTA up.

I'd be grateful in anyone could leave a link to a site which gives a layman's view of the advantages and/or disadvantages of the proposed FTA.

STOP-WORK YOUR ARSE OFF

We must work harder .... Perth train drivers stop work

SAFARI SUITS SOME

Topical lately are cricket tours to the wild and wicked jungleland of Zimbabwe. My valuable and learned contribution .... Blessing Mahwire chucks it.

Spanky Roebuck - writing on the bath dodgers - get's righteous:

England faces expulsion from international cricket. Not content with ruining Africa's World Cup with a fatuous refusal to play in Harare, the Poms are threatening to cancel their upcoming trip to Zimbabwe because of some recently discovered scruple.

Happily - for everyone concerned - Spanky gets spanked:

On Sunday, English leftist and part-time spanker Peter Roebuck waxed lyrical about why he thought the English cricket team should tour Robert Mugabe's wasteland formerly known as Zimbabwe.

Lex Downer - enjoying a remarkable career since early stumbles - takes the sensible line and would prefer Australia not to go. But rightly will leave it up to the cricketers and won't stop them going:

With relations between the two countries at an all-time low, Foreign Minister Alexander Downer yesterday said he would prefer the tour did not proceed........The Federal Government could not force the cricketers to abandon the tour, Mr Downer said.

John Howard - despite the colourful headline - also applies common sense. He'll leave it up to the cricketers:

Mr Howard twice declined to say if he agreed with Mr Downer when speaking to journalists today........However, all Mr Howard, both a cricket lover and a vocal critic of Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe, would say was the decision was ultimately for the cricketing authorities.

Finally Greg Sheridan backgrounds the state of play:

But the real story of the African intrigue against Australia is much less edifying and lays bare the cynicism and moral corruption of the whole UN process. It all started in 2002 when the African group at the UN decided to pick Libya to take up its turn as chairman of the UN Human Rights Commission.

Read the rest of Sheridan's article in the extender.

SINN THE BAG

Coburg Football Club plays in the VFL and it's president is Melbourne "identity", and former super lefty independant MP, Phil Cleary.

Now Coburg are looking for a new No. 1 patron and there's a debate going on over who should it be.

One of the suggestions is Andrew Peacock. Therefore, you might think the other could be a senior lefty. Given Coburg is in the electorate of Wills - maybe Bob Hawke. Well, you'd be wrong.

Today in the Herald Sun....

Coburg Football Club is facing a major dilemma. Does it make former Liberal leader Andrew Peacock or Sinn Fein president Gerry Adams the club's No. 1 patron.

Club president Phil Cleary and vice president Dean Mighell will present Adams with a club jumper when the British Parliament member speaks at the Celtic Club on February 14.

Cleary said Peacock, a club patron, had turned down an invitation to hear Adams' speech because he was on holidays in Queensland.

Cleary first met Adams at the Sinn Fein offices on the Falls Road, Belfast in 1994.

Cleary used to have a radio show on 1116, and every day - much to the puzzlement of this listener - had a segment in which he interviewed Irish commentators. From Ireland. On things Irish. Topical stuff here in Melbourne. Fortunately the show got dumped for an all sports format.

Given Cleary and Mighell's leanings - no points for guessing who'll get the gig.

MARK OF CANE

Mark "Ideas" Latham has been chucking 'em around like confetti, often to acclaim from The Age, which usually trumpets them on the front page.

However - unless he's got a cunning plan - his latest idea to cane parents could be an ideal target for John Howard to exploit. Or a gaffe....

LABOR could be up for an electoral caning over Mark Latham's plan to intervene in the way parents raise difficult children.

In a textbook example of social engineering, Mr Latham wants some parents to take special classes on disciplining unruly teenagers and on ensuring school attendance.

A Latham government would require that where parents failed to respond voluntarily, courts would order the parents to go back to school themselves.

Court orders would be enforced in consultation with police, schools, social services and community leaders.

Prime Minister John Howard reflected the likely reaction of most parents ? that the government has no place using the big stick in what after all is a family affair.

Mr Howard said there were many ways Parliament could encourage and influ-ence parents.

He added: "I learned more from my mother and father about how to treat my children and how to bring them up than I ever would from a member of parliament, from a lawmaker, a social worker or indeed anyone else."

He could have added Big Brother to the list.

Yesterday he tried to fob it off as something Phillip Ruddock proposed seven years ago. Nonsense of course, the idea was rejected.

By the by, also today in The Australian - not attributed to Latham - there's an item ....

The federal ALP wants to "support and promote" heroin injecting rooms, despite every Labor state except NSW backing away from the idea....

....All other states so far have backed away from the politically contentious issue.

Are these rooms popular in NSW, and therefore a vote winner? Or is it another gaffe? A "courageous decision", if you will.

"IT NEVER HAPPENED"

Last Friday I wrote on Brad Gilbert's "gaffe" - "There's well over 1000 guys - more - that could beat Justin Henin-Hardenne."

In the comments, Adam mentioned the matches between a "German bogan" (Karsten Braasch) and the Williams sisters.

Then a couple days later, Richard Hinds, in the course of suggesting Gilbert was pretty much spot on and shouldn't have softened his remarks, also mentioned the Braasch/Williams matches.

Well, thanks to the excellent work of reader Chris, we can go straight to the source. Karsten Braasch - a German with a well toned sense of humour - in The Observer reveals the key to whipping the Willies - a strenuous preparation of golf and beer. Shtum on the Zigaretten though....

It was the 1998 Australian Open and the Williams sisters, Venus and Serena, had seen some of the male players practising. On the basis of what they saw, they were convinced that they could beat a man ranked around 200 in the world and wanted to set up a game. At the time I was ranked 203 so the men's tour manager mentioned the possibility of a challenge to me, thinking that I was the perfect candidate. I didn't take much persuading, it seemed like a fun thing to do.

My advice if you're ever in a position to play a match of this nature is be patient - don't be annoyed or surprised if your match against the Williams sisters is cancelled, as they both have very busy schedules. My game against them had to be re-organised at least a couple of times.

Preparation is crucial. Remember that a game like this is light-hearted - taking it too seriously would be a mistake. My training regime consisted of a leisurely round of golf in the morning followed by a couple of shandies. I turned up on court feeling suitably laid-back.

My first game of the afternoon, just a one-set match, was against Serena. A hint: try and play your match somewhere quiet, where you're not going to be pestered by big crowds or lots of press - we were out on one of the back courts at Melbourne Park, No 17 I think it was. I felt so relaxed that I didn't even warm up properly. We started playing and I raced into a 5-0 lead.

At this point Venus turned up to watch. She had just finished a press conference after a quarter-final loss against Lindsey Davenport. In the end I won my game against Serena 6-1 but by the time we were at the net shaking hands, Venus was on court, ready to have a go against me as well. The game against Venus was very similar. I ended up winning 6-2.

Both sisters are great tennis players and hit the ball extremely well. However, if you've been playing on the men's tour there are certain shots you can play that are going to put them in difficulty. Try and put a lot spin on the ball - I was hitting the ball with a degree of spin they don't face week-in, week-out. Another key is to chase down every shot. In our match, they were putting shots into the corners that on the women's tour would be winners but I was able to return them.

In the end I won, but neither myself, nor Venus or Serena took the game too seriously - we were just having a bit of fun.

Apparently, after the game, Serena and Venus immediately told the press they wanted to challenge a male player again. This time they revised the ranking of the man they wanted to face, to 350 in the world. I informed the journalist who told me this that in the next week I was set to lose a lot of ATP points and drop down to 350 in the rankings. I told him that if Venus and Serena waited just one week they could challenge me all over again!

That never came about, but when I saw Venus a few months later at the French Open she came up to me with a big smile on her face and said, 'You know that thing in Australia - it never happened!'

TIM LANE SAYS STUFF

That was tough. Just one day back was enough to remind me of what a frightfully arduous gig teaching really is. I'd better slow down, don't wanna give myself a conniption fit.

Speaking of SEN, it's been refreshing to hear Tim Lane - unfettered by the ABC affiliation with cricket - prepared to sound off.

Yesterday when Gary Lyon, Tim Watson, Bill Brownless and Tim Lane were naming their Cricket World Elevens for 2003, Lane - on principle - refused to pick Sri Lankan off-chucker, Muttiah Murali. Like all good men Tim knows Bendy doesn't deserve to be playing test cricket and he's prepared to say so. I just wish he'd said so back in 1995 when a convulsing Spanky Roebuck was having his own conniption fit in the MCG commentary box.

Apropos unshackled ... ed ... ness, the other day Tim was asked, "Which AFL team has had the best publicity this summer?". Without hesitation Tim - a Carlton fan - said: "Carlton! Apart from Nick Stevens they've recruited a bunch of seconds players. Daniel Harford hasn't played good footy for years."

Go you good Tim! Listed.

LLEYTON RROGERED

Not too keen on this getting up early, so quickly before I go back to school - forget the footfault, Roger Federer is one sweet sweet player....

SWISS conjurer Roger Federer last night ended Lleyton Hewitt's Australian Open dream in controversial circumstances, parading an explosive array of shots to match the fireworks which crackled over shellshocked Melbourne Park.

DELTA FORCE NOT WITH HIM

After watching Philippoussis v Ancic on the weekend, I said he wasn't playing all that well - some very slack footwork - and I'd be surprised if he went much further. Of course, there's nothing more galling than predicting an upset, but not putting it on your blog.

The Delts & Dud Scud media orgy is over, Poo's been dumped....

Tenth seed Mark Philippoussis crashed out of the fourth round of the Australian Open after a straight sets loss to Morocco's Hicham Arazi in Melbourne this afternoon.

Philippoussis looked listless as he went down to a 6-2, 6-2, 6-4 defeat which left Lleyton Hewitt as the only Australian left in the men's singles draw.

The Australian made 38 unforced errors to his opponent's 10 and produced five double faults.

Naturally I mention this mainly because I love to see hype spiked. With that in mind, Hewitt's on tonight. So, do I put it on the line? Even though Hewitt leads 8-2 head-to-head, Federer should win.

I GET THE IDEA

Admittedly my students are smaller groups of years 11 and 12 - no matter. Thanks to Wen and Snidely Whiplash for this description that's so eerily accurate I'm gonna print it out, laminate it and stick it up above my desk at school....

Approximately 2/3 of the 61 year 8 students I taught last year have psychologcal, physical, social, anger management or other problems or some combination thereof that hinder their learning. One group of 31 I would liken to a having a bag full of cats: you've got it, but what the hell are you going to do with it. A significant number of these students: either don't bring the necessary equipment to class or claim they don't have the equipment so as to delay starting work; arrive late to class; call out whenever they feel so inclined; get up and roam around the room at will; swear like sailors; do no work, ever; steal from one another; steal school equipment; vandalise school property; argue endlessly; throw projectiles around the room; openly and obviously spit (slag) on one another; openly and obviously bully; regularly start fights in class; you get the idea.

And it's amazing how often I LIKE the little shits.

RESHUFFLE THE DICK

Without even one mention of speed cameras, The Sunday Age echoes the AGB and predicts a move for George Svigos Andre Haermeyer....

When Premier Steve Bracks begins real work this week, refreshed after his long seaside break, the first thing he should consider is reshuffling his cabinet, starting with his erratic Police and Emergency Services Minister, Andre Haermeyer.

Remember, don't sack him though.

LINGERING GAZE

Good work by Antony with an Aitch to note the record of top-shelf, howdy-doody, super-dag Andrew Gaze and his 568 games treading the boards....

PLAYING alongside Andrew Gaze at the Barcelona Olympic Games 12 years ago rates as a career highlight for Leroy Loggins.

Such is Loggins's admiration and respect for Gaze, a five-time Olympian, that he is pleased the Melbourne Tigers star has taken over from him as the NBL's games record-holder.

TAKING STRIKE

Sick of golf, God's switched to cricket:

A CRICKETER was killed by a lightning bolt in a country league game in New South Wales state, police said Saturday.

Witnesses said 31-year-old David Evans's bat exploded after lightning struck his helmet as he stood at the crease late Saturday afternoon at Bombaderry, about 120 kilometres south of Sydney.

"Ambulance officers were called and administered treatment at the scene, however the man was pronounced dead on arrival at Shoalhaven Hospital," a police spokesman said.

Matt Sawkins, 13, and his father Graeme, were both knocked to the ground and slightly injured by the lightning.

"There were storms all afternoon, it was the first bolt of lightning," the teenager told the Sun-Herald newspaper. "His cricket bat exploded. He was about to take strike."

Matty Sawkins - love your work, guy.

ANTHONY MUNDINE SNUBBED

The Australian of the Year is Steve Waugh....

BREAKING NEWS Recently retired Test captain Steve Waugh was today named Australian of the Year for 2004. Prime Minister John Howard made the announcement in Canberra tonight, but Waugh was in Perth playing cricket for NSW in the Pura Cup match against Western Australia.

Waugh was named NSW Australian of the Year for 2004, which put him in line for Australian of the Year, a day after announcing his retirement from Test cricket in November.

WITH THE BACKING OF HINDSIGHT

While we're on women's tennis, here's Richard Hinds in the Sunday Age....

Battle of the sexes

Brad Gilbert said on Melbourne radio that he thought women's No. 1 Justine Henin-Hardenne cold not beat the 1000th best men's player. Which seems pretty obvious for those of us who watched German Karsten Braasch take on and beat both Williams sisters in an outside court at Melbourne Park a few years back, a feat made more memorable by the fact he smoked a cigarette at the change of ends.

This is not golf, where the 14 year-old Michelle Wie can compete brilliantly against the men. In tennis, a player can assert his physical advantage on an opponent, not just the ball. The question is not whether Gilbert was right. It is why he felt compelled to water down his remarks later in the day.

MIDSUMMER NICE DREAM

Over the last few years Channel Seven have had varying degrees of success - my opinion - with Rampaging Roy Slaven, HG Nelson and their Olympic Dream, Ice Dream and Rugby dream. I think there was another. Now to expand their role, Channel Seven have decided to employ them as tennis commentators at the Aussie Open.

There have been some dissenters though. Yesterday while on SEN-1116, Tim Watson said he didn't agree with Channel Seven putting them in the commentary box.

Immediately after Watson's comments - which were accompanied by Nine's Gary Lyon ribbing Seven's Watson over Watson dissing his employer - Seven (Ex Nine) honcho Ian Johnson was on the blower to give Watson a friendly ticking off. I'm not sure Johnson was "clearly peeved". To his credit, Watson went on to clearly - and pointedly - state his case.

Sadly it would appear, Watson's been instructed to hold his tongue....

CHANNEL 7 has gagged its star sports presenter Tim Watson after he criticised the network's use of comics Roy Slaven and HG Nelson as tennis commentators.

This highlights a nasty problem for sports coverage in Straya. Namely the compromising position a media outlet can find itself in when covering a particular sport, and that sport in return, expects the outlet to "sell" it.

Commentators are continually constrained by the nature of their broadcaster's commitment to any particular sport. Think back to Seven's suspension of Craig Hutchison for daring to criticise the Colonial Stadium's surface. A surface in which Seven have a substantial investment. And which was also in an appalling condition and deserved to be criticised.

One of the attractions of SEN is the fact that as a new station, it's not an "official broadcaster" of any sport. That egregious term being code for "Suck Radio".

At the moment SEN don't have any "official" affiliations. Good. It would be nice to think this'll continue and they in turn will continue to provide relaxed, informal - yet informative - and entertaining sports radio. Francis Leach in the early arvo dead zone is a particularly enjoyable alternative to his wife on 774 and Ernie Sigley's celebration of all things blue-haired on 3AW.

Unfortunately, as - or is that if? - they become more popular they'll attract more advertising and end up nailed to a tighter format.

Regarding the nature of Watson's comments - last night I listened to Roy & HG to see what the fuss was about. I found it to be enjoyable, without being a cackfest, but ultimately their contribution didn't keep me watching for more than about one set.

I'd suggest they be kept, but under the proviso they be partnered with a fluent commentator. John McEnroe would be ideal. Bruce would do. JA is diabolical. Sandy is Sandy.

And I couldn't care less if the players get upset.

ISN'T HIT IRONIC?

Seems that on Sunday night just hours before David Hookes was clubbed, a clairvoyant punter was getting in a pre-emptive strike on another bouncer ....

IF Matt Gourlay could manage it, he'd probably crack a wry smile about the painful irony of a pub bouncer being belted with a Victorian Bushrangers cricket bat.

But with a fractured jaw, cheekbone and nose, and his damaged teeth wired together, smiling is not an option.

Mr Gourlay, 24, was attacked with the autographed bat the same night Bushrangers coach David Hookes was felled with tragic consequences during an altercation with another bouncer outside another inner suburban hotel.

Both were taken by ambulance to The Alfred hospital, where they spent time in adjacent cubicles in the emergency department.

PS: The Depot's a hole. Exactly like The Beaconsfield where bogans are drawn from the burbs - in this case Mornington - by booze, babes and bad cover bands. Hmmm, I'm getting old.

PSS: If you look closely at the map you'll see EXACTLY where I am right now as I type. Right there in .... What's that? .... More food?!? .... Gotta feed the cat.

GILBERT GRIPE

Womens and mens tennis have their different attractions, but the men would flog the women every time. So I agree with Brad Gilbert. I certainly don't think his comments on the theme are a "gaffe" as is headlined in the paper Herald Sun...

RESPECTED coach Brad Gilbert claims world women's No.1 Justin Henin-Hardenne could not beat the 1000th best man.

Gilbert, former coach of Andre Agassi and current mentor to Andy Roddick, said the women simply did not have the physical attributes to trouble the male players.

"There's well over 1000 guys - more - that could beat her," Gilbert said.

And don't anyone cite Billy Jean and Bobby Riggs' nonsense match.

GG - "NEIGH"

Given her prior form, why do Australian papers even feel the need to print articles by Germaine Greer? Today's is wrong on so many levels, it baffles me how she ever attained a profile as an "intellectual".

Here's just the opening nonsense....

The international movie industry is illuminated by Australian stars, none of whom lives in Australia.

The movie industry is IN America.

Australian professionals of all kinds are popping up at the top of their trees in other countries; they are vice-chancellors of British universities....

The British university - not surprisingly - is IN Britain.

People will continue to seek opportunities in larger environments and they can't be expected to commute from Australia. In exactly the same way people from Yarrawonga move to Melbourne, Tasmanians move to Victoria or Kiwis to Australia. With 20 million people in Straya compared with - for example - 280 million in the USA, it's not surprising many seek "bigger" challenges there.

To suggest this movement of people somehow reflects poorly on Australia is ridiculous. Given the enormous disparities in talent pools, those who grew up and were educated here and are now successful on the international scene, should be symbolic of our success as a nation, not our failure.

I've only covered Greer's opening salvo, there's more. Should you feel the urge, read the rest. Just don't do it on a full stomach.

RETURN FROM THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN

O'Gorragh! Talk about "The Luck of the .... err .... Whatsits".

I bet - ho ho - Irish Eyes are smiling at this soft-luck story. Of course, you could read a summary in a .... Phooey! .... newspaper. Or you could get the good oil here .... And elsewhere....

IT'S no wonder Catherine Egan is smiling. She bet €10 and ended up with €424,000.

And last night she was toasting the 'magnificent seven' horses that won her the record prize.

Mother-of-two Catherine (45) from Athlone became Ireland's biggest accumulator winner.

Her €10 bet in a Paddy Power bookie shop on Sunday's races scooped a payout equal to 42,000 to 1.

Catherine and husband Padraic at first thought she had won around €5,000 when her accumulator bet on all races at Fairyhouse yielded seven wins.

Catherine, a civil servant working in Athlone, and her mechanic husband live with their two young daughters in the townland of Curry, outside the village of Brideswell in Co Roscommon.

"I just can't believe it," she said last night.

"I'm only a small punter. If there was a tip going around the office I might put a tenner on it - but that's about it.

"I picked all of those horses in about a minute," she added.

"I could see on the teletext that the horses were winning throughout the afternoon, but I had no idea of the money involved. I thought that I might have won around €5,000, which would have been great.

"But I never imagined what it turned out to be."

Paddy Power officials told them on Sunday evening they had won more than €200,000.

And yesterday, Paddy Power himself spoke to her and confirmed she had won €424,710.

Catherine and her husband Padraic, a 43-year-old mechanic, have two daughters, one in primary school and one in secondary school.

Catherine said: "I've been on 'Cloud Nine' since the win. Everyone is delighted for me. I suppose they like to see the bookies being beaten an odd time. First thing I thought was 'now, let's go on a foreign holiday'. We've always wanted to go to Disneyland in Florida but we've never been able to afford it. We're going to go now.

"There's a fair chance I'll never back a horse again."

Although she had monitored the racing at Fairyhouse by teletext throughout Sunday afternoon, she had no idea that her first six wins meant she had €94,000 staked on the last race.

While picking her horses, one turned out to be a non-runner. She said: "So I just asked the Paddy Power guy who the favourite in the race was. He said 'Munster' so, considering they had won the big rugby match the night before, I went for that.

"Apart from that I just picked a few favourites and I went for Florida Pearl because Willie Mullins trains it," she said.

Brideswell publican Donal Hamrock said last night: "It couldn't have happened to a nicer family."

Paddy Power told the Irish Independent: "This is the biggest ever payout in Ireland. I much prefer to see someone like her winning this instead of some professional punter who might have put €5,000 or €10,000 down.

He then explained how €10 grew into €424,000. The first part in the accumulator was €10 on 'Cane Brake' at the starting price of 7/4 which returned €27.50. This rolled on to 'Inexorable' at a price of 2/1 which returned €82.50.

This third part of the accumulator was the Willie Mullins trained 'Florida Pearl' which won at the early price of 11/2. The winnings now stood at €536.25.

The €535.25 rolled on to 'Munster', who was her second choice after her original selection was a non-runner, and won at 3/1. With the kitty now up to €2,145, 'Celestial Light' at the early price of 10/1 had been selected as the fifth part of the accumulator and duly obliged returning €23,595.

Five down and two to go and 'Hume Castle' at 3/1 was the penultimate winner leaving the bet an incredible €94,380. This rolled onto the final selection, another Willie Mullins trained horse, 'Gayle Abated' which ran out a length and a half winner and finished at a whopping total of €424,710.

Eat your hearts out boys!

Thanks Senor Nubie

STATE OF A UNION

In support of John Howard's comments on public education is Liberal staffer, Kevin Donnelly on my Australian Education Union....

ARE Australia's government schools politically correct? And are unions such as the Australian Education Union to blame?

As an engineer, I've only been teaching two years so I'm not well placed to give an indepth analysis of Australian education strategies.

What I can say though, is that many of the students I teach - 16 and up - can't perform simple maths procedures. Stuff that I learnt when I was 10, 11 or 12 - manipulation of fractions, long div/mult/add/sub, percentages and transposition of simple formula, to name the basics. In my opinion these things should be taught if only for their value as boosters of mental dexterity.

And it's not just maths, some students are nigh-on illiterate. In fact, some just don't know HOW TO LEARN. It's as if they've never been taught.

Yet, most know their "rights". "You can't MAKE us do homework."

Never the less, Donnelly's analysis will have it's critics. One - obviously - would be Jenny Macklin who exhibits typical leftist shrillery in response to Howard comments....

I send my son to a government school. They learn great values of tolerance, fairness, and get an excellent standard of education. So I’d say to the Prime Minister, get out into our government schools, talk to the students, talk to the parents, talk to the teachers.

I happen to know which school her son goes to and the teachers there are as feral-left as any in the public education department. Many parents are as bad, and guess where half the kids go every time there's a rally in town?

UPDATE: Education seems to be flavour of the month - not here, I'm on holidays .... I mean .... err .... I'm preparing classnotes for the new year.

Most of the Ozblogosphere's across it and there are many good points, but there are too many to link. I like Wen's best when she points out loads of those that spruik Public, actually send their kids Private.

It reminds me of a radio interview I once heard. Elaine Canty on 774-ABC was badgering Melbourne Grammar headmaster - and former test cricketer - Paul Sheahan about the luscious privileges enjoyed by the rich kiddies at Sheahan's MGS. His response....

"Well, you ought to know, Elaine. Your boys go there."

Note: Some well known MGS students were John Brumby, John Thwaites and Bob Hawke's son Steven.

BATTER MENTHOL

Much ado is made over image issues such as sledging and the "Spirit of Cricket" - with suspensions regularly handed out. However, when it comes to blatant cheatery, a limp wrist-slapping is all that is meted out:

Dravid fined for ball tampering

Indian vice-captain Rahul Dravid was fined 50 per cent of his match fee for ball-tampering after his side's victory over Zimbabwe in the one-day cricket clash at the Gabba.

International Cricket Council (ICC) match referee Clive Lloyd charged Dravid under clause 2.10 of the ICC's code of conduct, which deals specifically with ball-tampering.

It is understood third umpire Peter Parker initiated the charges after cameras picked up Dravid rubbing a cough lolly on to the white ball during Zimbabwe's innings.

Dravid, who scored a match-high 84 runs, attended a hearing following the day-night game, which India won by 24 runs after bowling out Zimbabwe for 231.

Something wrong there, surely a couple matches suspension is in order.

TITS NICE TO MEET YOU

Detailed studies have revealed boys like boobs. Why? Because T is A....

MEN'S genetic make-up FORCES them to study cleavage says top man-watcher Desmond Morris.

The author of pioneering human behaviour book The Naked Ape believes female breasts developed when human beings began enjoying face-to-face sex.

"Full breasts evolved to make the female frontal region more stimulating to men," he explained.

Female monkeys' rears turn pink to show they are willing to have sex.

Dr Morris believes a woman's cleavage directly imitates the appearance of the human bottom.

Show us yer ...... research!

I'LL SAY NO MORON IT

BARCLAYS BANK RIGHT

As a conservative, the Telegraph is one of my favourite papers and I wouldn't like to see it veer off to the left as was mooted earlier.

Fortunately potential owner David Barclay - realising how many readers he stands to lose - has come to his senses and scotched any talk of the left turn....

BRITAIN'S broadsheet newspaper, the Daily Telegraph, will not be forced to change its editorial stance following a proposed takeover by the secretive Barclay twins, one of the brothers insisted today.

David Barclay, the elder of the multi-millionaire duo by 10 minutes, issued a statement in response to a newspaper article which suggested they might shift the Telegraph away from its traditional right-wing roots.

Asked by the Guardian newspaper if the Telegraph would continue to support Britain's main opposition right wing Conservative Party, David Barclay was quoted as saying: "Certainly not."

"We don't interfere. We hope our editors will reflect the views of the public," he said.

However in a subsequent statement, Barclay stressed the twins had no plans to try to change the paper's long-held stance as the voice of the conservative middle classes.

"To avoid any confusion, we will not change the editorial position of the Daily Telegraph," Barclay said.

"The Daily Telegraph has a long established editorial position which we respect and with which we do not intend to interfere."

Let's hope he means what he says. And best not have anything to do with The Guardian.

ON YER TROLLEY! MOLLY NOT JOLLY

Molly Meldrum - first name Guru - has been refused entry to the US....

AUSTRALIAN music guru Ian "Molly" Meldrum was today refused entry to the United States and was ordered to return home. Meldrum was not holding the correct visa to be able to work in America and was refused entry at Los Angeles Airport, the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade (DFAT) said.

Maybe they saw his rotten roast. Or unearthed a Countdown interview and didn't believe he was a journalist.

THREEASY BEATS

Can anyone remember a tennis player winning three matches in a row from forfeit?

One....

Lleyton Hewitt claimed to have played near-faultless tennis all week after waltzing into his third adidas International final today when his semi-final opponent Martin Verkerk mysteriously forfeited early in the second set.

Two....

Lleyton Hewitt claimed his third adidas International title in Sydney when injured Spaniard Carlos Moya retired from Saturday's final at Olympic Park. Hewitt was leading 4-3 and 40-15 when Moya retired after rolling his ankle in the previous game.

Three....

Lleyton Hewitt cruised into the second round of the Australian Open today when his American opponent Cecil Mamiit withdrew with an ankle injury. Mamiit suffered the injury late in the second set and was forced to withdraw shortly afterwards with the Australian leading 6-2 6-4 0-1.

LUST FOR LIFE

Unlike bloggers - many of whom have done fine work on the topic - it's unfortunate the media can't get fired up at issues. Never the less, there are many fine tributes to David Hookes from Australia's top cricket writers.

Greg Baum:

It made no sense. One day, David Hookes was at the MCG overseeing Victoria in another victory in what has been a particularly good season for his adopted state. The next, he was dead, his family in a mess and the cricket world in a state of shock and numbness.

Mike Coward:

DAVID Hookes lived his life much as he played his cricket - with a smiling, cheerful abandonment that could border on recklessness.

To use the vernacular of the game he loved with such an abiding passion, he was forever on the front foot and pushing the boundaries.

Well worth a read is Cricinfo:

The Gabba dressing-room, January 1986. Australia have beaten India by four wickets in a World Series Cup match. David Hookes wanders out of the shower and spies Greg Chappell, national selector, chatting to Wayne Phillips and a man from Ansett airlines. "Where's David Hookes's gear?" asks the Ansett bloke. Phillips points him in the right direction. The Ansett man strides over and tears off the luggage tag that says SYDNEY - the destination for Australia's next match - and replaces it with one that says ADELAIDE. Hookes is going home. His sometimes fantastic, sometimes flawed, always fascinating international career is over at 30.

And I'm sure when it comes, Peter Roebuck's will have something worthwhile to say.

"YOU JUST WANT TO DO IT"

That was Zdravko Micevic on the boundless delights of punching people's heads in.

Those words simply reinforce my opinion the bouncer is no more than a pissant peasant bully low-life. Who, as a trained boxer, ought to know better than to cowardly king-hit a fifty-year old bloke:

Boxer's golden dreams

As a year 8 student at St Albans Secondary College, Zdravko Micevic dreamt of Olympic gold.

After moving to Australia from Yugoslavia in the early 1990s, the teenager took up karate but switched to boxing, primarily to improve his hand speed.

In 1996, then aged 14, Micevic became a Victorian amateur champion and was the runner-up in the Australian amateur championships, despite only having three amateur fights under his belt.

He also won a silver medal at the Australian Amateur Boxing League titles in Rockhampton, leading his trainer, Louie Korica, to predict his protege would become the nation's junior champion within a year. "He is becoming bigger and stronger by the day," Korica told the Herald Sun in a 1996 interview.

Micevic's natural power may have been conveyed through a variety of punches, but he knew there was room for improvement.

"No matter how good you are, you can always get better," he said in December 1996. "Everyone wants to be the best, but it depends on how I go."

Still, his passion for pugilism remained his main focus. "When you enjoy something, you just want to do it," he said.

I hope they throw the book at him, but I somehow doubt they will given I agree with Bunyip's observations on Victoria's legal system. Has Micevic even been pulled in by the cops yet?

After the initial legal argy-bargy I predict plea of manslaughter and a sentence of three years.

TREADING A FINE LIE

We all know, the Victorian government, in trying unsuccessfully to sell their strict approach to speeding, haven't let the facts get in the way of a "nice little earner".

This article - it's a long one - in yesterday's Age would seem to contradict the party line. Not that we didn't already know....

Speed trap: why fines are not the only solution

Arrive alive! was barely noticed when it was launched just over two years ago in a bundle of bland Government strategies called Growing Victoria Together.

The rest are long forgotten, but the slim blue road safety manifesto was to prove more than the sum of its 17 dot points: it has launched the state into a radical experiment to slash the road toll by forcing citizens to slow down.

The Government is crowing because road fatalities have dropped since arrive alive! started - last year's toll of 334 deaths was the lowest on record.

"On all measures available to us, it is working," says Transport Minister Peter Batchelor.

But road statistics are volatile, and experts say the 16 per cent drop in deaths last year could prove to be a blip rather than a trend.

The media obsess over the daily fatality count, but the professionals worry at least as much about the number of accidents and serious injuries, and they have actually increased in the past two years.

Even though it's a long article it's well worth a read, and it gives you a more indepth overview of road safety initiatives than is normally afforded by day-to-day reportage.

What's more, it echoes many of the things said here in both the posts and the reader comments (I've barely mentioned the invasion of privacy issues). To whit, while slower driving causes less impact it's the road conditions, car construction, excessive speeding - or reckless driving - and poor driving skills that are the most significant contributors to the road toll. Not drivers doing 63 in a 60 zone.

I wonder what's Batchelor going to say if those "serious injuries" turn into fatalities and the next few years show toll increases?