My ears must have been blocked. I can't have heard right.
Last night when the quizmaster referred to the "Impressive" Q Magazine I shook my head and thought; "You pathetic fool".
Following that insanity he asked us to name Q's top five from their list of 1001 Greatest Songs of All Time and as a hint gave us the top five artists.
When he said U2 had the No.1 song I nearly threw my glass at him.
Here's the "Top" ten...
1. U2 - One
2. Aretha Franklin - I Say a Little Prayer
3. Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
4. The Beatles - A Day in the Life
5. Elvis Presley - In the Ghetto
6. Eminem - My Name Is
7. Radiohead - Creep
8. Destiny's Child - Independent Women
9. Oasis - Live Forever
10. Ike and Tina Turner - River Deep Mountain High
I'm tempted to think One at One is some sick joke but I know what sort of rank shiny turd Q Mag is. I'd look elsewhere for the whole list but I'm too scared. And scarred. Do so at your own peril.
Following is a much better list from Mojo in 2000. It's not perfect, but it's a fuck sight better than Q's putrid excrescence.
You'll notice there's no U2. I still can't get over their inclusion at number 1. It just confirms all my contempt for the modern music industry and the dumb tasteless shlubs in the listening world who lap up the industry's noxious and offensive outpourings.
There's no Aretha, although you could make a case for two or three songs. Say a Little Prayer, Respect, Natural Woman.
Nirvana has always been massively over-rated. Not bad, just over-rated. And there profile is more sound based rather than song based. It's more more reasonable to include Teen Spirit down the list.
Of course there are Beatles and Elvis. It's just a matter of how many.
No Eminen. His inclusion ranks - and I do mean ranks as in stale socks and dirty, skid-marked undies - with U2's.
I've never got Radiohead. I don't dislike them, I just don't get them. So "No Comment"
Destiny's Child. See U2 and Eminem. Why not include Bananarama? Or All Saints. Disgusting.
Oasis had some monster hits and are highly thought of in many critical circles. Especially in the UK where they get the usual "Home Team" support. I prefer Wonderwall but I don't object to their inclusion.
The Animals have a better version of River Deep Mountain High. I'm surprised the list doesn't include Nutbush City Limits. No Ike & Tina Turner for me.
I don't know who Q sampled, but it's stinkingly obvious they must have sent forms out to commercial FM radio stations and MTV. What an evil, malevolent fiasco!
Anyway, here's the Mojo list....
100 Greatest Songs Of All Time
1. In My Life - The Beatles
2. Satisfaction - The Rolling Stones
3. Over The Rainbow - Judy Garland (John Martyn)
4. Here There And Everywhere - The Beatles
5. Tracks Of My Tears - The Miracles
6. The Times They Are A Changin' - Bob Dylan
7. Strange Fruit - Billie Holiday
8. I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt (George Michael)
9. People Get Ready - The Impressions
10. You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling - The Righteous Brothers
11. Yesterday - The Beatles
12. I Say A Little Prayer - Dionne Warwick
13. God Only Knows - Beach Boys
14. Something - The Beatles; Frank Sinatra with Nelson Riddle
15. Every Time We Say Goodbye - Nan Wyn; Ella Fitzgerald
16. Fire And Rain - James Taylor; The Isley Brothers
17. Moon River - Andy Williams (Henry Mancini)
18. Stand By Me - Ben E King
19. Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles
20. Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers
21. I Heard It Through The Grapevine - Gladys Knight & The Pips; Marvin Gaye
22. Be My Baby - Ronettes
23. Many Rivers To Cross - Jimmy Cliff
24. Without You - Badfinger; Harry Nilsson
25. There A Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
26. Somewhere - Marilyn Cooper; Barbara Streisand
27. Jersey Girl - Tom Waits
28. I Go To Sleep - Peggy Lee; The Pretenders
29. Hey Jude - The Beatles
30. I Think It's Going To Rain Today - Judy Collins; Randy Newman
31. Mack The Knife - Kurt Gerren; Bobby Darin'
32. It's Too late - Carole King
33. Tired Of Being Alone - Al Green
34. There She Goes - The La's
35. I'm Stone In Love With You - The Stylistics
36. Just Like A Woman - Bob Dylan
37. Feel Like Going Home - Charlie Rich
38. Song To The Siren - Tim Buckley (This Mortal Coil)
39. Live Forever - Oasis
40. In The Ghetto - Elvis Presley
41. Love Letters - Dick Haymes; Ketty Lester (Alison Moyet/ Elvis Presley)
42. River Man - Nick Drake
43. The Long And Winding Road - - The Beatles
44. Dark End Of The Street - James Carr (Ry Cooder)
45. America - Simon & Garfunkel
46. Tower Of Song - Leonard Cohen
47. First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Peggy Seeger; Roberta Flack
48. Sweet Jane - Velvet Underground; Lou Reed
49. It's All In The Game - Tommy Edwards
50. Everybody's Talkin' - Fred Neil (Harry Nilsson)
51. Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry
52. A Case Of You - Joni Mitchell
53. Suspicious Minds - Mark James; Elvis Presley
54. Who Knows Where The Time Goes - Sandy Denny & the Strawbs; Fairport Convention
55. The Weight - The Band
56. Walk Away Renee - The Left Banke/ Four Tops
57. Someone To Watch Over Me - Gertrude Lawrence; Frank Sinatra
58. Only Love Can Break Your Heart - Neil Young; St Etienne
59. If You Don't Know Me By Now - Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes
60. Let It Be - The Beatles
61. Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks
62. Windmills Of Your Mind - Noel Harrison (Dusty Springfield)
63. White Christmas - Bing Crosby
64. God Bless The Child - Billie Holiday
65. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel
66. Baby I Need Your Loving - Four Tops
67. Killing Me Softly With His Song - Lori Leiberman; Roberta Flack
68. Ne Me Quitte Pas - Jacques Brel
69. Jealous Guy - John Lennon
70. One For My Baby - Frank Sinatra
71. To Love Somebody - Bee Gees (Jimmy Somerville)
72. Walking In Memphis - Marc Cohn
73. Blue Moon - Glen Gray; Elvis Presley (Marcels)
74. Just My Imagination - The Temptations
75. What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted - Jimmy Ruffin
76. Superstition - Stevie Wonder
77. Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney (The Faces)
78. Guantanamera - Perez Prado
79. My Funny Valentine - Chet Baker (Elvis Costello)
80. Different Drum - Linda Ronstadt
81. Make It Easy On Yourself - Jerry Butler; The Walker Brothers
82. Summertime - Abbie Mitchell; Janis Joplin (Ella Fitzgerald, Fun Boy
Three)
83. Makin' Whoopee - Eddie Cantor; Ray Charles
84. By the Time I Get to Phoenix - Johnny Rivers; Glen Campbell
85. September Song - Walter Huston (Frank Sinatra)
86. Proud Mary - Creedence Clearwater Revival
87. What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
88. Always On My Mind - Brenda Lee; Willie Nelson (Elvis Presley)
89. Reason To Believe - Tim Hardin (Rod Stewart)
90. This Land Is Your Land - Woody Guthrie
91. Ode To Billie Joe - Bobby Gentry
92. Losing My Mind - Dorothy Collins; Julia McKenzie (Liza Minnelli & the
Pet Shop Boys)
93. As Time Goes By - Jacques Renard; Dick Haymes (Dooley Wilson)
94. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
95. Goodnight Irene - Leadbelly
96. The Moon's A Harsh Mistress - Glen Campbell (Linda Ronstadt)
97. Baby One More Time - Britney Spears
98. Ever Fallen In Love - Buzzcocks
99. We Shall Overcome - Pete Seeger; Joan Baez
100. Desperado - The Eagles
Plenty there I wouldn't include but at least it doesn't rot out my eyes when I read it.
"Nirvana has always been massively over-rated. Not bad, just over-rated. And there profile is more sound based rather than song based. It's more more reasonable to include Teen Spirit down the list."
I usually don't disagree with such vehemence, but Nirvana was indeed bad. Woeful, disgraceful, septic, unlistenable, indecipherable and they just plain sucked. Anyone who can't tell that Kobain tried to rip off Boston's "More Than A Feeling" for "Smells Like Shit" is seriously deficient. Basically Nirvana came to the end it deserved, my only problem with that is, now they make all the "best of" lists. Had Kobain not have blown his pointless head off they would probably be considered a laughing stock by now, in much the same vein as Blackie Lawless and his bunch of merry W.A.S.P.'s are.
Posted by: Patrick | 20 November 2003 at 12:59
Destiny's Child? 8th greatest song of all time? What's Q stand for - Quacks?
Posted by: Richard T | 20 November 2003 at 13:02
I like "One". Wouldn't call it the best song of all time, though. Agreed over Destiny's Child and Nirvana.
Posted by: James Russell | 20 November 2003 at 17:21
The La's at 34th...Quality..Britney at 97, should be 97,000th...As for Destiny's Child,*!-**%$$?*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Snr Nubi | 21 November 2003 at 09:05
Harsh, Patrick. A friend calls him the whiny smackhead. I don't like Boston. And WASP are awful too.
Rich & Nubie, Destiny at 8 is just bizarre.
Just can't buy U2 anywhere, James.
It occorred to me last night that my main gripe is with the papers for reporting the poll as something even remotely credible. It's not as if Q is a proper music mag. The poll would have had the same cred in New Idea or Cosmo.
Posted by: Tony.T | 21 November 2003 at 11:23
What's not to get about Radiohead? 'Tis just music. Too bad Q chose the most insipid song they've ever written to include in their list.
Posted by: Tim Stevens | 21 November 2003 at 15:31
Mojos Top 100 Songs for All Time if you're Older than 40 was an interesting read of songs I've never heard of.
Posted by: bailz | 22 November 2003 at 18:35
Q's shit, Tim. There's "just music" and there's just music. Whatever that means. Maybe RH just need running in. Like a vintage car, or Trout Mask Replica. Who knows, maybe I'm slow on the uptake and in ten years time when I'm, err, 40 I might just rave about them.
Go and track some down, Bailz. You'll notice all that hippetty hoppetty boppetty head shaking raving craving drug taking youngster funster MTV musak is a patchwork of much of the original sounds on the Mojo list. Some of it's well done some else pale imitations with better production advantages and glossier filmclips. And there's no one here older than 40. (I turned off HTML)
Posted by: Tony.T | 23 November 2003 at 14:08
As per usual the best stuff is left out, take note: (1)Beds are burning.Midnight Oil. (2)There is a light that never go's out. The Smiths. (3)Love Action. Human League (4)Frying In Hell Tonite. Cathedral. (5)3 Second Sonic Burnout. Napalm Death. Kids...Get out there and listen to REAL music.
Posted by: Brett Pee | 28 November 2003 at 02:27