Consider the following non sequitur:
Ian Thorpe looks gay, Ian Thorpe honks pipe.
Another:
Bedevere: What also floats in water?Villager #1: Bread!
Villager #2: Apples!
Villager #3: Uh, very small rocks!
Villager #1: Cider!
Villager #2: Uh, gra-- gravy!
Villager #1: Cherries!
Villager #2: Mud!
Villager #3: Churches! Churches!
Villager #2: Lead! Lead!
Arthur: A duck!
Crowd: Oooh.
Bedevere: Exactly. So, logically...
Villager #1: If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood.
Bedevere: And therefore?
Villager #2: A witch!
And, from class last Friday, another:
James (A wog): Having a few beers this weekend, Sir?Tony: I don't drink.
James: What? I thought you were a pisshead!
Tony: Why?
James: You were talking about football.
Another?
James is Greek, James likes it apo piso.
Well the kid was right Tone. You WERE a pisshead.
Posted by: Caz | 25 November 2003 at 21:28
Shit Tony - STILL off the piss???
Posted by: Jim | 26 November 2003 at 09:59
Caz & Jim, I drank therefore I was.
Posted by: Tony.T | 26 November 2003 at 11:04
"I drink, therefore I am" reminds me of that fantastic song, also from Monty Python, the Philosophers Song, from the Phil Dept of the University of Wooloomooloo.
Eee-manuel Kant was a real pissant
He was very rarely stable
Eidegger Eidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could drink you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
And Wiggentstein was a beery swine
Who was twice as sloshed as Schlegel
John Stuart Mill of his own free will
On half a bottle of chablis was particulary ill
Plato the same, could stick it away
Half a crate of whisky every day
Aristotle Aristotle was bugga for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descarte was a drunken fart
I drink therefore I am
Now Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugga when he's pissed.
Tony, all that is done off my failing memory (PLEASE don't crap all over me for the German mistakes, I'm sorry but I am not very bright), and it's probably got heaps of mistakes in it, but from your post it seems you know where to find Python scripts.
If you do, can you tell me where to find that fab sketch from Holy Grail where the king wants to lock his son up so he can marry Princess Lucky and he spends ages trying to drum it into the guards heads that they have to stay with the Prince until he comes back. I'd love to have that, because there are some people in my life that it fits to a tee.
Hey Tony, draft, trading, next pre-season ... woo hah, Eags for the Flag, doncha reckon?
Posted by: os | 28 November 2003 at 20:15
Good to hear from you, Os. You've been absent lately. There are a few mistakes in that song but that doesn't matter. That was the essence of my heading.
Here's the Python sketch....
http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Scripts/HolyGrail/grail-14.html
Dad - "One day this will all be yours!"
Son - "What? The curtains?"
Awesome!
I hear a "concerned" Eags have already deemed next year a "re-building" season.
Posted by: Tony.T | 28 November 2003 at 23:06
yup, full of mistakes ... after jotting it down, I started singing it in my head and realised I'd missed "there's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya about the raising of the wrist, Socrates himself was permanently pissed" etc.
I've been in Bali for a holiday, where my significant other singlehandedly wrenched their national retail sales figures into the black for the first time since the bomb.
Had a great time watching the rugby in bars, drinking buckets of Bintang with shifty frogs, mystified krauts, mentally disintegrated kiwis, and obnoxious poms (mild non sequiturs). I also went to the Bintang Bottle Shop, the watering hole of the Bali Geckos Aussie Rules Footy club ... you should see their home ground Tone, hard as concrete. Reminded me of the oval at Burracoppin.
Any season when we don't win can be deemed a "re-building" season, we're that good.
Thanks for the link, I'm off to go see now.
Posted by: os | 01 December 2003 at 13:03
I was in London in 1999 when the Kiwis lost to France in the semis. Many were glaze eyed as the tried to offload their final tickets to indifferent locals. We just laughed. They were shattered.
At the same time I saw a news vox pop where they interviewed Kiwis in the streets back in Enzed about the result. One guy said "Well after the tragedy of the netball this has completely stunned us". I just went "Netball?!? What fuckin' netball!"
They get very worked up over their sporting success, where as our media tries to fire us up but it's really only Aussie Rules and cricket that gets me going. I live accross the road from the tennis centre and didn't know the result until there was a wrap during some Fox news show after 2001: A Space Oddessy.
I thought "rebuilding" was a euphemism for suddenly realising you've an ordinary list and thus knowing there's no point for the season.
PS: I hope you got a tee shirt.
Posted by: Tony.T | 01 December 2003 at 14:49
The Mighty High Flying Eagles had their first pre-season run a few weeks ago and St Woosha predicted a top four, possible GF finish. Hope springs eternal.
I went to the Python site, it's parked at the Uni of Innsbruck?? I sure stuffed up the Philosophers song, but gusto was the main quality with which I rendered it, so that's fine. Boyohboy, there's some great stuff there. Ta.
Posted by: os | 01 December 2003 at 18:33
Here's another one, Os.
http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_scripts/
Posted by: Tony.T | 02 December 2003 at 18:54
COOL!! really nice web-site.......totally dude.....this is awesome like whoaaaaa.....like how did u do this man your like smart man dude totally......ur like so totally rad dude...man ur awesome!! contact me man email me and we should like totally surf or something im good at it !! totally well im not gonna write a novel bye. totally..
Posted by: Jake | 10 September 2005 at 05:33
Yo.
Posted by: Tony.T | 10 September 2005 at 17:18