Well, Leo's on his way (see below); bon voyage old fella.
The funeral was held at the local Catholic church. St Ignatius of Richmond. Wonder what he's the patron saint of. Dashboard ornaments? The master of ceremonies was Father Joe Jacoby, the Pokey Priest. Ahem. That'd be poker machines. Joe runs a stack of them which he uses to fund his numerous charities.
I suppose I should mention I’m not a Catholic. I’m a heathen Anglican. That’s code for ”I don’t believe in God”. Don’t believe me? Check with the CEO of Canterbury. So surprisingly I’ve never before been to a Catholic church. I've also never had a shave then driven a car to play a game of Under 12 Football.
Anyway, I’ve got three observations....
Firstly, the church I was forced to frequent as a junior was a reasonably barren affair. Not so Saint Iggys. I’ve never seen so much stuff. Sombre pictures. Glossy plaques. Dramatic statues. Lots of columns too. Kind of like an Italian builder's front porch. I think I know where the missing 25,000 25 Baghdad museum masterpieces reproductions are.
Second, during the service there was a continual, but erratic, pinging. Probably a cymbal. A bell? Maybe a triangle. I couldn't work out which. Coincidentally they're the only instruments my significant musical talent allows me to hit, err, play. Never the less, I never could spot it's relevance to the service's ecclesiastical architecture. The pinging just kept, well, randomly pinging.
And thirdly, as someone who sat emphatically mute in a determinedly mute congregation reading Battle Picture Monthly, Australian Cricket magazine and Willard Price’s Adventure novels, I was surprised the majority of the audience knew all the lines by heart. Very unsettling.
Leo’s son-in-law, Tom, delivered the eulogy. Now, you need to know that Tom's a huge Collingwood fan and Leo an avid North Melbourne follower. Leo had been living with daughter Debbie and Tom for the best part of the last two years and they would always have breakfast together and discuss horse racing and football. On the last morning (Wednesday) they shared the following peppery exchange....
Leo - "Hoo-bloody-ray! The Kangas made the Sun front page instead of Collingwood."
Tom - "Have a look at page 80. Buckley's still rated Number 1."
Leo - "Kiss my royal Irish arse! You Collingwood dickhead!"
Those were the last words he uttered. Five minutes later he died of a heart attack.
Now, prior to batting I always put my left pad on first, but I'm not generally superstitious. However, surely this is a ominously ominous omen. Whichever way you look at it. Is it something for us to cheer about? Could the Maggies be doomed? OR?!? More significantly, is Eddie more powerful than we thought?
By the way, an appropriate dirge was chosen. Imagine by John Lennon.
You get disturbed by one funeral in a Catholic church. You should have seen my childhood. My nanna has like a shrine to the Virgin Mary in her living room. Catholicism is freaky freaky shit. That being said, beats being a heathen protestant any day.
Posted by: Caz | 07 June 2003 at 08:15
Beats being a Muslim too I suspect.
Posted by: Patrick | 07 June 2003 at 15:52
My nana is the same with rosaries, statues and various detrius of a shine.
Tony your going to too many funerals ol son.
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 07 June 2003 at 19:00
Not disturbed Caz. Interested. In a "Ooh look mama! Look at all the Crosses! It's Easter! Can we get eggs?" kind of way.
Possibly Patrick. I'm not too sure there's gonna be a swathe of Yanky sportsmen signing up to change their names to Muhummad or Ali.
What's detrius Scott? And yeah, it seems people I know aren't doing too well lately. Maybe it's my fault. Last week a friend told me that an acquaintance had died. Neither of us liked him. My response - a shrug and "Tough break. But whaddaya gonna do?" I might have to start being careful.
Ahh well, my motto? Push It Down!
Posted by: Tony.T | 07 June 2003 at 22:41
detrius = debris, a collection of junk that is nevertheless valued by the collector...
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 08 June 2003 at 03:27
Ahhh, that's what I thought you meant Scott. As in DETRITUS?
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=detrius&r=20
Posted by: Tony.T | 08 June 2003 at 12:01
I did it my way.
Posted by: Scott Wickstein | 09 June 2003 at 03:23
Those little town blues.
Posted by: Tony.T | 10 June 2003 at 23:05